


Sunshine Soothes and Moonlight Burns

by BTS2016dia



Series: UshiTen is superior(unless IwaOi, KageHina or SakuAtsu are involved) [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: At least in my head he is, Attempt at Humor, Don't worry he figures it out eventually, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, I love these two so much ajsnigrwellasks, If you don't count me being both the writer and the editor, Light Angst, M/M, Not Beta Read, Oblivious Ushijima Wakatoshi, Pining Tendou Satori, Semi Eita is a Little Shit, Sexual Content, Tendou Satori is precious, Ushijima Wakatoshi is Bad at Feelings, Ushijima Wakatoshi is a smooth mf, but a good friend, fight me on this, if you blink you'll miss it, probably...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-17 21:33:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 56,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28732014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BTS2016dia/pseuds/BTS2016dia
Summary: From his wind-tousled hair to his blown pupils that are framed on top by eyebrows that are pulled so high that they nearly disappear into his ungelled hair, Tendou looks like everything Ushijima would want in his life.Tendou is wildly, painfully beautiful, and he encompasses Ushijima’s hidden desires so accurately that he has to suck in a large breath to stop himself from blurting out the first thing that’s on his mind.I love him.Or, it takes Tendou's declaration that he has someone he likes to stir up unknown feelings in Ushijima that he never knew he had. But he can deal with a bit of confusion about his own emotions, right?
Relationships: Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi, slight Semi Eita/Shirabu Kenjirou
Series: UshiTen is superior(unless IwaOi, KageHina or SakuAtsu are involved) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2106336
Comments: 140
Kudos: 253





	1. It All Started With

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time posting on AO3!! I'm really excited to be doing this since UshiTen is one of my fav ships in HQ!!! I hope everyone who comes here to read this will enjoy it! UshiTen has been on my mind for all of one month and that made me decide to finally delve into some of the things I wanted to write about in this huge project!!! Also, this is my first time writing in present tense HAHAHA so forgive me if the tense is little weird in some parts.
> 
> Seriously, UshiTen lives in my brain rent-free and I am crying from how much I love them uwu. There is a terribly low count of UshiTen fics compared to some of the other more popular ships *cries in yearning* Thank you to everyone who's giving this very first work of mine a chance, and here's to a successful first attempt at posting on another platform besides Wattpad...

Tendou Satori isn’t, by any means, violent, but recently - it’s concerning the number of times he’s pondered over this matter in the past couple of weeks - he’s been feeling like chopping off some people’s heads.

And it’s all due to his annoying teammates, more specifically, the third-years, although he’s going to exclude Ushijima from the steadily growing number of people on his hit list. However, he won’t hesitate to threaten the rest of them to curb their strange behaviour if he can help it, but unfortunately, his warnings have not been working in his favour at all during the past few days. In fact, it only seems to fuel the fire.

Practices at Shiratorizawa Academy have never been more welcome, and although he would much prefer to be curled up in his dorm room with a good manga volume in his hands, sniggering over and insulting the idiocy of the main characters like the asshole everyone thinks he is, he needs _some_ form of getaway from his friends’ sudden and entirely unwanted interest in his personal life.

Apparently, it all started when the third years - again, excluding their favourite captain - had decided to play a game of Would You Rather after a particularly rigorous practice session, and Oohira had somehow managed to convince Goshiki to play with them.

Shirabu had sneered at Semi’s attempt to get him to join them, much to Semi’s ire.

Tendou had merely given a lazy smile, before clapping a hand on Ushijima’s shoulder. “Wakatoshi-kun? Wanna join us for some fun?”

Wiggling his eyebrows for a more dramatic effect, he secretly wondered if Ushijima even knew how to play party games, especially one that more often than not ended up with broken friendships and stale tension in the air.

Ushijima remained as stoic as ever when he replied with his usual neutral tone. “I would have to refuse your offer, Tendou. I’d like to get back to my room quickly as I’m feeling tired.”

Tendou shrugged, releasing his grip on Ushijima so that he could plop down in the space left for him between Yamagata and Goshiki, who was looking rather nervous to be surrounded by his seniors.

“Suit yourself then. Although, Wakatoshi-kun, you should take my advice and be a little more social, it’ll do you good since you’re going pro.”

Ushijima blinked at him owlishly, like he couldn’t really understand what Tendou was implying but wanted to give a satisfactory answer anyway, because he was just that kind of person. Nothing Ushijima did was without careful calculation and intent and Tendou, as his best friend, would know that better than others.

“I will try. Thank you for the tip, Tendou.”

Tendou’s burst of raucous laughter made Goshiki wince.

“You’re most welcome~ Off you go then.” he sang in response, and watched as Ushijima once again disappeared through the doorway out of reach of the shenanigans of his teammates.

Tendou shifted his attention towards the rest of the people in the messy circle with him. “Now,” he started, “Who’s first?” He was looking forward to all the blackmail material he could potentially gather from a couple of rounds of the game.

Immediately, Semi led the discussion by pointing at Oohira. “Reon, would you rather take a dump in the bushes or wet yourself in a public space?”

Oohira grimaced at Semi’s question, whispering a quiet “Gross.” to himself as he tried to come up with his answer.

He sighed in defeat when he caught the look of smug glee on Semi’s face, before rolling his eyes and saying, “Take a dump in the bushes, because it could mean that there aren’t any people around.”

Semi frowned slightly at the small leeway he had unknowingly given his friend, muttering under his breath as he prepared to be hammered by a similarly ridiculous question. “Drat.”

Oohira, however, wasn’t looking at him, but at Tendou, who looked from side to side in faint confusion. “What, me?”

He was surprised that Oohira wasn’t trying to get back at Semi, but he’s not one to back down from an obvious challenge. Actually, he’s always liked indulging in them, if only to see the looks of frustration on his opponents’ faces when he shoots down all of their advances. Tendou squared his shoulders in mock courage, gesturing for Oohira to continue.

“Would you rather do a hundred serves during practice or a hundred diving receives?”

Tendou pretended to think about his answer, although it really should have been a no-brainer. “Why, obviously, I would take the hundred serves! Diving receives suck. You’ve gotta try better than that, Reon-kun.”

Oohira chuckles at his logic, only slightly aggravated by the fact that Tendou was giving him this annoying smirk. Tendou grinned because it was now his turn to point fingers at someone. He eyed Goshiki who was next to him, and a bigger smile spread across his face.

“Tsutomu,”

Goshiki startled at the use of his name, and he quickly became even more jittery when he saw Tendou giving him a most mischievous look.

“Yes?” he said hesitantly, not quite sure if he wants to continue playing the game.

Tendou is known for his persistently provocative jabs at opponents across the net, and his teasing of his friends was about as constant as his guess blocking was accurate.

“Would you rather...” he paused, noting the quickening in breath beside him that indicated the rapidly growing anxiety of his junior. “-have Wakatoshi-kun or Semi Semi as your role model?”

Goshiki froze in horror at his unfairly controversial question, one that was sure to get him cuffed on the back of the head or worse if he answered without tact. And, sadly, tact was something that Goshiki had yet to master.

Tendou giggled a little hysterically, eagerly waiting for the panicked first year to gather his scattered thoughts and give a reply.

Semi growled from opposite them. “Don’t call me that! And that’s just evil, you know the kid’s obsessed with Wakatoshi, so why’d you put me in there?!”

Tendou just hummed along to a random tune in his head, nudging the stiff body of Goshiki. “So Tsutomu, who’s it gonna be?”

He liked the way Goshiki squirmed uncomfortably at his prodding and glanced at Semi out of the corner of his eyes in a desperate plea for help, his face an unhealthy ashen.

Semi gave a long-suffering sigh from his place, mentally beating himself up for even mentioning the game now that he was caught right in the middle of one of Tendou’s deliberate attempts to be an asshole. Why he even tried to be so intimidating when he wasn’t was beyond Semi, but he wasn’t about to inquire about his friend’s questionable habits.

Tendou may have babied the boy more than their other first years, but apparently Goshiki wasn’t spared from his tendency to take advantage of others’ weaknesses for his own amusement. Semi relented and waved his hand discreetly, reassuring Goshiki that he wouldn’t scold him for not picking him.

Goshiki looked relieved, and he swallowed as he returned his deer-caught-in-headlights stare to Tendou, who mustered his most innocent-looking expression to hide his smile.

“T-Then… I’ll pick...Ushijima-san...” he muttered into his knees as he drew them up and curled up like an injured cat. He sulked to himself, wishing that he didn’t have to pick between favourites, as it could ruin the team’s dynamic.

Semi dropped his forehead into a palm, exasperated by Tendou’s antics. “Seriously, Satori, that was a dick move.”

Tendou shrugged, although the mirth in his eyes didn’t do much to change the fact that he wasn’t the least bit guilty.

_Games are games, Tsutomu. You’ve gotta keep that in mind, otherwise people will think you’re too serious._

He didn’t say that out loud, though he did give Goshiki a sympathetic pat on the head that he hoped conveyed his silent apology. He wouldn’t want to make his cute underclassman cry, Yamagata would have his head.

Oohira, ever the group mediator, took up the role of diverting Goshiki’s attention back to the game at hand; they haven’t had enough fun yet - and he wanted to catch Tendou off guard too after the stunt that he pulled on poor Goshiki.

He side eyed Tendou’s nonchalant expression, thinking ahead to what he should ask when his turn next came around. Semi noticed him giving Tendou a half stink eye, and raised his eyebrows curiously; usually, Oohira was the one who didn’t try to pick a fight with everyone he met.

Oohira gestured with his head towards their team’s middle blocker, speaking with his eyes.

_Wanna have a go at him later?_

Semi grinned impishly when he picked up the message, one side of his mouth curling up higher than the other, and nodded almost imperceptibly.

_You bet._

The turns flew from one side of the room to another, and soon, everyone who was playing had broken away from the circle on the floor to different spots in the locker room. Even more puzzling was the fact that they’d somehow gone from playing Would You Rather to Truth or Dare.

In the half an hour that had passed since they switched games, Tendou had migrated from the floor to being sprawled out on one of the benches cackling at one of his own lame jokes, and Semi was standing in front of one of the rows of lockers with his arms akimbo.

Goshiki had retreated to one corner of the room after being picked on a couple more times, hoping that no one would notice him if he just kept still, while Oohira sat next to an upset Semi as he watched him argue back and forth with Yamagata about a topic he’d rather not focus on.

Semi glared at Yamagata, who gave him an unimpressed look in return. “What do you mean a straw has two holes? There’s obviously only one! How are you gonna drink with a straw when liquid runs out two different ways?”

Yamagata narrowed his eyes. “There’s two, and I’m not budging on this one. You may have gotten the one about butts correct, but I’m not losing to you over this.”

Oohira groaned as a month-old memory about the very same pair getting into a heated debate over whether humans have one butt or two resurfaced in his mind.

He really didn’t need the added stress, what with Goshiki cowering in the corner because of the fierce battle between Semi and Yamagata, and the harsh laughter from Tendou that grated against his supply of patience spectacularly.

He and Semi had yet to come up with questions to throw Tendou off his usual rhythm, and he felt quite frustrated that their attempts had failed again and again to the annoying smugness of their friend.

Oohira liked to think that he could understand Tendou, even just a little, but the truth was that nobody could seem to pin anything on the guy unless it was a volleyball-related mistake that he made during a match.

_Come to think of it, does he ever talk about himself?_

And there was the thought that triggered more questions about Tendou Satori in Oohira’s mind.

He dug through his memories slowly and realised that Tendou, their strangely goofy friend, didn’t really speak much about his own personal life.

Oohira lifted his head from its place between his knees, and blinked a few times. He thought he was finally getting somewhere with his train of thought when Tendou let out a particularly loud chortle, screwing up his face uglily as he sat up.

Oohira slapped Semi on the back of his calf, drawing his attention away from Yamagata. “What, Reon? I’m in the middle of something here-”

Oohira dragged him down by yanking on his forearm. He whispered something to Semi, whose face broke out in a sly smirk when he got the gist of what Oohira was trying to tell him. Semi straightened up after a while, a vague plan forming in his head at the new idea that Oohira had brought up to him.

“Okay, Hayato, I’m gonna have to stop our discussion here.” Yamagata merely sniffed at him. “Now, I believe it’s my turn to ask questions.”

The rest of the people in the room stared at him in silence.

Semi gave a devious grin as he walked over to Tendou, who shifted a little in his seat at the suddenness of his approach. He smiled brightly up at Semi, teeth showing and all. “To what do I owe the pleasure of this- uh- interest, Semi Semi?”

Semi gritted his teeth at the silly nickname Tendou used to refer to him; he’ll never know what came over Tendou to start calling him that. “Satori, come on. Truth or dare?”

The cheshire smile on his face didn’t fade even when Tendou cocked a head to survey his now more confident demeanor. “Hmm… Truth then, my wonderful intuition tells me that you’ll make me do something I don’t like if I choose dare.”

Semi’s shit-eating grin grew larger and more irritating at Tendou’s answer. “Alright. Do you, Tendou Satori, have someone you like now?”

The room went quiet at the unexpected question, and even Tendou looked a bit perplexed by the sharp turn this game had taken. He stared back at Semi, surprised, and his eyes widened ever so slightly.

Semi held his gaze, a pleased glint in his eyes as he took in the subtle twitch of Tendou’s fingers on the edges of the bench. Tendou always did that when he was at a loss for what to do. It became blatantly more obvious when Tendou dropped his eyes first, instead, looking past Semi at the plain white walls of the room that had suddenly become much more interesting.

“Uhm...” he trailed off unsurely, and Semi straight up smirked like the little shit he is for thinking up such a question.

Tendou cursed his body for betraying his thoughts, he’d just been so shocked that his friend would even bother asking something like that that he’d momentarily surrendered control to his instincts. Usually he could count on them to get a desirable consequence, but they didn’t seem to be working right now.

He let a chuckle slip through his lips, and made a show of stretching his arms above his head.

“Well? Come on, spill. We wanna know the truth.” Semi poked at his shoulder insistently.

Tendou wondered if he’ll regret the next words that come out of his mouth right as he said them. “Hmm? Yeah, I do. Everyone does, right?” He hoped that by adding in his last comment, he’d be able to shift some of the scrutiny away from the fact that he does have someone he likes.

Semi reeled back with a shocked expression on his face, like he couldn’t quite believe what Tendou was saying even though he was the one who had been eager for an answer.

From his corner of the room, Goshiki choked on air, while Oohira gave a low whistle that made Yamagata snigger. Tendou felt slightly offended that they were displaying such disbelief, and he bristled a little. “Is that such earth-shattering information?”

He glanced at Oohira for an answer, his red eyes narrowed, since Semi looked preoccupied trying to rearrange his face into his normal expression of indifference.

Oohira raised one shoulder, and said, “Well, you hardly talk about this kind of stuff. It is a little surprising.” Tendou exhaled at his explanation.

He hoped that he wouldn’t have to deal with more of such questions, because honestly, that one hit a little too close to uncharted territory that he’d rather not venture into. It was hardly one of those subjects that he could prattle on and on about to his friends.

He got up from the bench, ready to call it a day after all the chatting he’d done, but was stopped by an exclamation from Semi. “Wait, really?? Who?”

Semi threw away any and all of his unbothered composure as he slid to a stop in front of Tendou, his curiosity piqued.

“Uh ah, that’s another question altogether, Eita-kun. I believe everyone is only entitled to one question for every target they pick.”

Semi’s gleeful expression was enough to make Tendou feel like he’d just jumped into a pit of tar, except that his friend’s incessant questioning was going to be the tar that stuck to him and refused to leave him alone.

He barely managed to get out of the room without Semi bugging him for more details, and eventually, Oohira took pity on him and dragged Semi away to pack up their own things.

Oohira looked over to Tendou and signalled with a head tilt to the door. “Go on.” he mouthed as Semi tried to wrestle his way out of Oohira’s iron grip.

If Tendou had thought that that’d been the last of the strangeness of their gathering, he learnt how entirely wrong he was in the following weeks.

Semi would often pop up out of nowhere, either in his classroom during breaks or right after they finished practice for the day, to ask him more prying questions. He can’t remember the number of times he’s had to avoid the uncomfortably embarrassing inquiries from all his friends on the team by ignoring them, changing the subject forcibly or straight up running away.

He shudders at the memory of Semi trying to find out if he’s had a girlfriend before(he hasn’t, but that’s none of his business!), and visibly winces when he remembers the way Oohira had stared him down when they were in the locker room changing for practice.

Even Ushijima has noticed something, but being the polite and considerate person he is, he had not commented on the other third-years’ behaviour.

 _What’s so interesting about my non-existent love life anyway?_ Tendou thinks as he looks around the clubroom to make sure that none of those nosy friends of his are there to force more questions onto him.

Their latest escapade involved roping in Goshiki and making him ask for a few very starry-eyed requests, which had nearly caused him to cave in; he has a soft spot for the kid, for whatever reason.

He breathes a sigh of relief as he strips off his shirt and pulls on a sweater, shivering slightly when a breeze fights its way into the room through the gaps between the windows.

It’s nearing autumn, and the days are slowly but surely growing colder. Tendou wrinkles his nose a little, he isn’t exactly a big fan of cold weather.

“Oh, Satori~”

Semi’s familiar voice outside the door causes him to jump, and he hurriedly stuffs his things into his bag so that he can make a quick getaway for the third time this week. Seriously, is there no end to Semi’s curiosity at all?

Tendou doesn’t think he can stand another week of running from something that he shouldn’t even have to worry about in the first place. So he yells back at Semi, half-furious that he’s being pushed around like this, and half-embarrassed that he’s so easily flustered over what he considers a lost cause - his love for a certain someone.

His mind drifts, and he’s once again entertaining thoughts about olive-brown hair and equally coloured eyes. He shakes the thoughts out of his head, frustrated that he’s so whipped he can barely think about anything else but the person in his head.

“What part of ‘I’m not going to tell you anything’ do you not understand??”

He expects to hear a round of crowing laughter from Semi, who’s taken it upon himself to unravel the mystery of Tendou’s secret love interest, but he hears nothing.

He zips up his bag, thinking that maybe his little outburst was enough to make Semi _take a hint_ and get lost for the first time in three weeks. But as he slings his bag over a shoulder, a deep voice from behind him makes him almost drop the jacket that he had been holding.

“You’re not going to tell who what?”

Ice grows at the speed of light in Tendou’s heart, encasing it in a stiff, impenetrable armour as he whirls around in shock.

His expression must have been particularly entertaining, because Semi is stifling a laugh at him from behind Ushijima’s back. Tendou glares at him, mentally trying to come up with an answer for Ushijima, who looks both confused and intrigued, if the two emotions can even be blended together.

Tendou opens his mouth, only to get interrupted by Semi, who gives him an infuriating smile. Tendou inhales sharply when he realises what Semi is planning to do. _Don’t you dare-_

He barely gets out another word before Semi, that idiotic shithead of a friend, blurts out, “Wakatoshi, did you know that Satori is interested in someone romantically?”

Tendou groans, and a flush creeps up his neck that he’s sure is the same fiery red as his untamable hair.

To his credit, Ushijima doesn’t look shocked like the rest of the third years had been, but he certainly doesn’t look any happier at this newfound information. If anything, he seems more stiff than before.

Semi raises his eyebrows at his lack of reaction, only catching a tiny clench of the jaw as he finishes revealing Tendou’s secret - not really - with enough flourish to make Oohira grimace and Shirabu roll his eyes.

“Oh, I see.” Ushijima deadpans without missing a beat.

Tendou runs a hand down his stressed-looking face, before turning to his best friend to complain. “Wakatoshi! As you can see, they are all ganging up on me just because they made me answer one of their stupid questions! You have to help me get back justice!”

Unfortunately, Ushijima takes Tendou’s dismayed statements quite seriously, and he turns around to Semi, who takes a step back at the sudden movement.

“Tendou says he feels uncomfortable with your questions, Semi. Might I ask you to refrain from making him feel that way?”

A collective sigh fills the room when they realise that Ushijima is yet again taking things a little too literally, as he so often does - well, the third-years sigh, Shirabu sneezes into his sleeve to disguise a snigger.

Tendou snorts at the incredulous look on Semi’s face, sticking his tongue out childishly as he makes faces at him from behind Ushijima.

Oohira laughs. “Alright, alright. We’ll tone it down since Wakatoshi puts it that way.” Semi turns a disbelieving look on him, distraught that his fun is going to be spoilt. “But-”

“No buts. Come on, hurry up and get changed, your clothes are soaked in sweat and water!” Oohira steers the conversation away from Tendou, hoping to distract Semi from any lingering thoughts about interrogating him. It works, sort of.

“That’s because you turned on the hose for Tsutomu when I was walking past and you sprayed it at me! Satori is the only reason why I’m still in these clothes!”

As he’s led away to the showers by a patronising Oohira, who points out that it was his fault for being in the way when the first years were trying to retrieve water to clean the floor of the gym, Tendou sinks down on a bench, exhausted.

He smiles gratefully at Ushijima. “Thanks for the help, Wakatoshi-kun.”

Ushijima stares at him a second longer than it usually takes him to formulate his monotone reply, which makes Tendou’s smile wobble a bit. 

“Anything for you, Tendou.”

_Well, that’s new._

His heart skips a beat at the warm statement, and he tries to hide the redness in his neck by scratching the back of his head. “Well, I should go. It’s been a long day, rest up while you can, Wakatoshi-kun.”

Ushijima nods at him, glancing around and realising that they’re the only ones left in the clubroom; the rest must have either gone back to the dorms or raced for the showers in the gym building.

Ushijima himself had already changed into clean clothes and dabbed away at the sweat that had coated his body for the entirety of practice, but he prefers going back to the dorms to shower, where he won’t accidentally intimidate one of his teammates for a shower stall in a public bath.

It seems like Tendou was having the same idea, judging from the way his weight shifts from foot to foot like he can’t wait to get out of the room.

As much as he loves spending time with Ushijima, Tendou can’t really find it in him to look his best friend in the eye at the moment, and he gives a hearty wave to Ushijima as he brushes past him to get to the door. “See y-?”

He’s stopped by a gentle hand on his wrist, and he follows the arm up to its owner’s face, nearly ceasing to breathe altogether.

“Uh…Wakatoshi-kun? Do you need something from me?” he manages to wheeze out without sounding like his lungs are running out of air. He hopes.

Ushijima frowns, his eyebrows pinching and his nose scrunching up slightly - the expression does something to Tendou’s heart. Ushijima keeps his eyes on his own hand, where it’s touching Tendou’s wrist.

Tendou waits, even though he feels like he’s suffocating right then and there, because he knows Ushijima isn’t great at communicating and needs time to convert his feelings into words.

The room is silent, so much so that if a pin dropped, they would be able to hear it. To Ushijima, it’s probably a small deal, but Tendou has never liked the way silence wraps around people and turns the atmosphere all awkward and tense.

He swallows a mouthful of saliva as he anticipates what Ushijima will say. Usually, he has a few good guesses based on Ushijima’s body language and facial expression, but now, he’s a little lost. His heart beats a strong, steady rhythm in his chest, although the more his brain decides to focus on Ushijima’s scorching touch, the faster it becomes.

He thinks he’s nearing his limit when Ushijima finally speaks, and it surprises him when he hears that deep, rich voice. “Tendou...do you really have someone you like romantically?”

He lifts his head up so that his olive-brown eyes meet Tendou’s red ones, a silent inquiry behind them.

Tendou, for the first time in his life, is speechless.

For some reason, this moment feels much more intimate than it should be, and he wonders if he’s finally lost it and conjured up the tension sizzling between them in the heavy air.

Ushijima continues to bore into his soul, those dark eyes of his captivating and beautiful, as Tendou had learnt when he’d first met him. His head swims, until the only thing he can see are those eyes that now seem to peer right into his innermost thoughts.

He doesn’t really feel like ending whatever that’s going on between them right now, even though he knows it’s probably all in his head.

_A guy can dream._

Still, the distant sounds of their teammates’ rowdy discussions zaps him out of the haze that has settled over his mind, and he replies as smoothly as he can to avoid suspicion. “Of course I do, Wakatoshi-kun! Everyone does!”

And it’s gone, that unfamiliar heat behind Ushijima’s eyes, that unwavering gaze that sends electric charges through his body and makes him want to crumple into a heap of steaming mush.

Ushijima lets go of his wrist and takes a small step back, enough to dispel the remains of whatever tension that had been in the air.

Tendou’s heart twists painfully at the lack of contact, and cold air rushes in to caress his skin now that Ushijima’s warmth has retreated. He wants to reach out and take it back, the heat that he so craves.

Tendou remains still, a smile still plastered on his face as he beats down the disappointment roiling in his stomach.

Ushijima isn’t new to the faux display of confidence Tendou is trying to exude, having witnessed many a time when he was disturbed by some of the name-calling from their schoolmates but tried to hide it.

He catches the barest hint of a tremble when Tendou raises a hand to rake through his messy, gelled hair, but stops himself from saying anything about it.

Instead, before Tendou turns to go, he says, “I will stop by your room later tonight. I’ve finished that manga you lent me, so I will return it to you. Is that alright?”

Tendou hesitates just a millisecond too long, and Ushijima’s already suspicious eyes sharpen in alertness.

“Sure, why not? I can let you borrow a new one when you’re over!”

Tendou smiles, fake and unconvincing to Ushijima’s keen eye. “See you later, Wakatoshi-kun~!”

He exits the room without so much as a look over his shoulder, dragging out the last few syllables of Ushijima’s name right before the door clangs shut.

Tendou sprints away from the clubroom, away from the gym, and he doesn’t stop until he reaches his dorm room, sweat dripping down the sides of his face as he slams the door shut and locks it.

He pants heavily, both from the exertion of running and from the previous encounter with Ushijima, which honestly leaves him more breathless than running.

He sucks in a huge breath, his pupils blown wide with shock and disbelief, and his hands shake so bad that he can barely throw his bag onto his bed properly. The resounding smack of his clothes and personal items hitting the wall through the thin fabric of his bag makes him flinch.

“Holy shit...” he whispers to himself, looking down at his feet, which are planted to the ground, unable to move. “Holy shit...” he mutters again, feeling overwhelmed by the erratic pace of his heart.

_What the hell was that?!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments(yes comments!) are very much appreciated, I'd love to know what you guys think about this fic!! Come and scream(or sob) about Haikyuu with me on my Instagram @bts_ateez._.suju (it's literally the only social media platform I would use) See you in the next chapter, which will be posted soon!


	2. Changing Dynamics

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohoho! I'm back with another chapter!! I'm quite fond of this one because Tendou was overthinking so much in this at first hahaha, I feel kind of bad for doing this to him but oh well, they're both dumbasses sometimes. Enjoy!

Tendou flops down onto his bed, his mess of red hair freed from its prison of gel and splayed out on his mattress as he continuously rubs at it with his towel. He sighs dramatically, before sitting up and ruffling his mop of thick locks for the umpteenth time in the past half hour. 

The moment he’d calmed down enough to make sense of his original plan to shower and eat dinner, he’d rummaged through his closet and picked out his change of clothes without really bothering to pay attention. 

His mind was elsewhere as he grabbed his towel and left the room to head for the boy’s shower, where he’d spent all of fifteen minutes actually showering and the next ten thinking about what exactly was wrong with him. 

He’d never seen Ushijima so eager to ask him something before, and he couldn’t help but find it strange that he himself had gotten so worked up over seemingly nothing. 

He smacked a palm on the wall as a stream of hot water cascaded down his back, mumbling under his breath all the reasons why he should ignore whatever had happened between them earlier. 

_If anything had even happened…_

He rinsed the last remaining soap suds out of his hair, before toweling himself off as best as he could and pulling on his clothes quickly. 

Ushijima’s words rang in his head, and he wouldn’t want to make him wait outside his room if he didn't get back in time. He draped his towel over his wet head, and exited the bath before more people piled in and crowded the whole place. 

Tendou wasn’t at all averse to human proximity, but he’d rather not have everyone stare at him like he's some giant monster - a childhood’s worth of bullying would do that to someone. Neither does he want to be exposed to all the gossip in the men’s showers, as he knew that his intimidating presence would instantly make the other boys start whispering about him instead. 

He’d long gotten used to how others judged him based on his looks, and he wasn’t particularly bothered by their rude remarks anymore, but he didn’t necessarily like them. 

A fleeting memory of Ushijima comforting him with a hand on his shoulder after a bad run-in with some of the nastier bullies in school made him smile gently, and his thoughts once more centred themselves around the sole reason why he was feeling so apprehensive. 

Tendou walked back to his room slowly, letting the soothing pale purple accents on the walls guide him back to the welcome familiarity of his dorm room. 

The nerves that plague him often when it comes to matters of his heart calm slightly as he stares up at the ceiling aimlessly, and he exhales heavily from his bed as he thinks about how he should act in front of Ushijima later. Should he pretend that nothing happened? 

Ushijima hadn’t given away any of his thoughts about his sudden wrist-grab in the locker room, and Tendou is prepared to let it go. But there’s just a nagging feeling in his head that won’t leave no matter how much he tries to ignore it or tell it to _piss off_ , and he’s starting to tire of this cheerful facade when all he wants to do is just crawl under his blanket and sleep off the weirdness of today. 

His stomach grumbles a moment later, and Tendou realises that he has yet to eat any dinner. If he wants to avoid a painful confrontation with an angry appetite, he’ll have to go down to get himself some food. 

With any luck, Ushijima won’t be there yet and he’ll be able to delay their inevitable meeting until later, when he’s not all jittery and anxious and can actually form proper sentences in his head. 

He scurries down to the cafeteria, dodging classmates and juniors alike as he maneuvers his way stealthily to the dinner line with all the grace of a cat, where he grabs a random tray from the nice dinner lady there and sits down at a table by himself. 

Thankfully, Ushijima doesn’t seem to be down yet, and neither do his teammates, so he scarfs down his food at frightening speed, ignoring the way his tummy groans at the sudden intake of so much food. 

After he’s done he sips at his drink lazily as he scans the canteen, his piercing scarlet eyes flitting from groups of people chatting over their food to the rapidly growing line at the distribution stall. 

People avoid his gaze when they meet it accidentally, and some even outrightly avoid sitting at the table he’s at, but Tendou pays them no mind, instead downing the last of his juice before standing up abruptly to throw his waste away. 

For once, he’s not keen on staying and observing other people eating and joking among themselves. His muscles are all bunched up and coiled, like some kind of defense mechanism that will allow him to escape from danger at any moment, even though the hot shower from before should have helped him relax.

He makes a beeline for the exit, only stopping his brisk walk when he comes to a stop outside Ushijima’s room unconsciously, which he had to pass by just then to get to the stairs. 

He contemplates just dropping in and getting his book back, so that he won’t have to wait any longer for Ushijima to come to his room specially to return it to him. 

There is absolutely no noise coming from inside Ushijima’s room, and Tendou wonders if he’s even inside as he steps up to knock on the door. 

Usually, he would just barge in without warning, being the eccentric wacko he is, but that’s only when they had already made plans before to meet up in Ushijima’s room. Even if that had been the case, today isn’t one of those days where he feels like bulldozing his way in and ending up being alone with Ushijima. 

On any other day, he would have jumped at the chance to spend some quality time with his best friend.

 _I’ll just stand right here and wait for him to hand me the book, then I’ll go back and not come out again unless that tree beside the building snaps and topples over onto the dorms._

His knuckles rap against the wooden door, and he waits several seconds before trying again. The door still doesn’t open, and he sighs in defeat when he confirms that Ushijima isn’t currently in his room. 

“Was worth a try...” he trails off disappointedly as he heads back to his own room. Now he’ll have to wait another agonising period of time, until Ushijima comes knocking at his door and gives him more reasons to stuff down his feelings and forget about them. 

As he closes the door to his room, he grimaces at the thought, thinking that he might just keel over from the amount of stress that’s been piled onto him for the past few weeks. 

_This is all Eita-kun’s fault_ is the last thing that goes through his mind as he settles on his bed with another one of his good old Shounen Jump volumes in his hand to pass the time. 

  
  
  
  


Ushijima stands outside Tendou’s door a full twenty minutes later, staring blankly at the white-painted wood that he’s grown quite familiar with over the years of visiting Tendou in his room. 

Normally, when the team doesn’t have practice, especially on the weekends, he and Tendou will take turns showing up at each others’ rooms unannounced. 

Most of the time, it’s Tendou who skips into his room with a bright smile as he waves around yet another volume of some manga that he’s recently gotten into, but Ushijima welcomes him all the same. 

He never tires of listening to Tendou go on about his favourite story plots and Ushijima takes those moments to simply admire his enthusiasm. 

They’ve been close for their entire three years spent in Shiratorizawa Academy, and Ushijima, although dense at times and an emotional block at others, has always enjoyed having Tendou around. 

His quirky brightness was refreshing, and there was always something new to learn about him. Besides, for someone who talks so much, Tendou always seems a bit closed off, like an insurmountable mountain to people who like to pry. 

Ushijima is too polite to subject his friend to scrutiny, so he settles for staying beside Tendou and supporting him in whatever way he could, be it in his career choices or other mundane everyday things. 

However, the uneasiness in his chest when Tendou had confessed to having a crush wasn’t something that he was familiar with at all, not like the warm contentment that he feels whenever they laze around together, and certainly not like the camaraderie that he experiences on the court when Tendou manages to pull off another one of his amazing blocks. 

No, this emotion is a boiling, scalding kind of feeling that eats into his chest and carves a hole in his heart, which has always been just as stoic and devoid of heat as his exterior. It is uncomfortable and it irritates him slightly, since he doesn’t understand the reason for it. 

He is unsure about what it is, and in the short span of time that it had taken him to walk from the gymnasium back to the boys’ dormitory, he relied on the internet to find out what had so suddenly occupied his body. 

He’d read through countless articles on heart attacks and strokes, but none of them fit the description in his head, until he came across a word he’d vaguely seen in one of those mangas that Tendou had lent him before. 

“Jealousy...” he mouthed to himself, the word like a foreign taste on his tongue as he rolled it around in his brain for a while. It didn’t sound very nice.

He’d understood the general meaning behind the word, but the internet had very little to offer in the way of which definition of the word he was currently feeling. 

Tendou’s achievements, be it in sports or other aspects, may have been impressive, but his are equally outstanding, if not more so. The explanation that he was fiercely possessive over his own rights or belongings didn’t even apply since Tendou had done nothing to harm him. 

That only left him with the third option, but it hadn’t seemed appropriate either. Tendou was his best friend, not a lover, so why was he feeling so hot (and bothered) inside? 

In the end, he had pondered over this for more than an hour, and even as he walked over to visit Tendou in his room after a hurried dinner, he was still clueless as to why he’d acted on pure instinct back in the clubroom. 

Tendou’s expression might have given some cause for concern, but it was hardly within the boundaries of his personality to be so forward.

He felt a little guilty, thinking back to how tense Tendou had become when he’d grabbed his wrist so suddenly. At the time, he had been running on actions that he couldn’t seem to control, and he decided that he needed to apologise to Tendou for making him so self-conscious - he hadn’t meant to judge. 

Tendou had the right to like anybody he wanted, and dislike anyone he wanted to as well. But for reasons unknown to Ushijima, the knot that had formed in his chest an hour ago was no closer to unravelling when he knocked on Tendou’s door. 

  
  
  
  


Tendou had been practicing smiling into the mirror hanging on the wall opposite his bed when the telltale quiet knocks signals the most dreaded part of his day. 

He hesitates, but ultimately gets up to open the door for Ushijima - he’d know that knocking anywhere at any time; only Ushijima is adamant on doing so before entering his room. 

“It is basic courtesy.” he had replied seriously when Tendou asked him why he bothered knocking. Tendou had shrugged and left it alone at the time, but now he was grateful for the extra time it gave him to calm his racing heart. 

“Wakatoshi-kun! Glad you came, come in, come in!” he greets as cheerfully as he can to conceal his anxiety. 

He scans Ushijima’s face, internally sighing when he sees the same neutral expression on his face that he wears everyday at school. 

_Great to know that I’m the only one who’s affected._

The bitterness colouring his thoughts surprises him, but he ignores it in favour of chittering away like how he always does. Since he’s been so on edge, it's better if there is someone to fill in the silence that would surely arise if he stops talking. 

He talks about anything and everything on his mind except the part that actually demands his attention. It’s the elephant in the room in his mind, and he’s going to avoid it as long as he possibly can. 

Ushijima blinks at him, responding when he agrees with some of Tendou’s opinions, or when he has something of his own to add. As Tendou collapses back down onto his bed, bouncing up and down a little, Ushijima steps forward and raises an arm, the book he'd wanted to return in his hand. 

“Ah, yes. Thank you~” Tendou hums as he reaches for the book, all the while doing his best not to accidentally meet Ushijima’s eyes, which narrow slightly at his avoidance. 

Tendou isn’t one to cower away from awkward eye contact, in fact, he’s usually the one who initiates it, all for the sake of taunting another - or in the case of his friends, for his own amusement. 

There’s something about the way he’s carrying himself, with tenseness in his back muscles and slight discomfort in his slouched posture, that makes Ushijima itch to find out what’s wrong. The knot in his chest tightens, and he pushes the feeling away.

He lets it slide for now, preferring to sit down next to Tendou and listen to him babble away about another new manga that he had been reading. They haven’t gotten far into their discussion when Tendou asks, “Wakatoshi-kun, you know, I always wonder about this. Why do you read the ads inside a magazine instead of the actual content?” 

Tendou’s question isn’t new, and Ushijima answers back the same way he had done two weeks ago. “Because the ads are always in the front.” 

Tendou barks out a laugh at that, his face scrunching up and his teeth showing as he throws his head back until he's almost parallel to his mattress. His throat is exposed, and Ushijima finds himself staring at it until Tendou’s giggling fades and he lurches back up again. 

“Wakatoshi-kun, you really are something, aren’t you?” His heart grows strangely warmer at the tone of wonder in Tendou’s voice.

Luckily, their normal banter causes most of Tendou’s restlessness to dissipate, though his long fingers do fidget with the pages of the open book in his lap. 

  
  
  
  


Tendou’s not sure how long has passed since Ushijima came into his room, but he can tell that it’s been a while. Still, he doesn’t want their time together to end, and Ushijima doesn’t look like he’s making a move to leave any time soon, so he suggests that they take a break from manga for a short while. 

He stands to grab a cup of water from his study table, asking, “Wakatoshi-kun, how does water sound?” 

Ushijima looks up from where he’s seated, with his back against the wall and his feet dangling over the edge of Tendou’s bed. 

“I believe water gives a rustling or gurgling sound when it’s running.” he says solemnly, looking confused. 

Tendou’s hand stills in mid-air and so does his cup. Holding back chuckles, he explains. “I meant, do you want to drink some water?” 

Ushijima’s expression of realisation makes him want to fling himself onto his bed and bury his head into his pillows, but he refrains from doing so. 

“Oh, sorry. I misunderstood.” Ushijima replies, his voice a tad bit sheepish. Tendou snorts, amusement flooding his features as he pours another cup for Ushijima. “No need to apologise, Wakatoshi-kun. Although, we might have to work a bit on that.” 

Ushijima blinks at him from across the room, his dark eyes questioning. 

“See, you can’t take everything everyone says so literally. Sometimes, people joke around, and it’s a little concerning if you can’t discern between literal meaning and metaphorical implications.” 

Ushijima nods at him like he fully understands what Tendou is saying, which he probably does only to some extent. “Well, nevermind, we don’t have to do that now.” 

He u-turns, handing Ushijima his cup before plopping back down next to him and laying down on his back. He closes his eyes as he lets his mind wander. Homework that he has yet to complete floats into his head, but he ignores it because he wants to spend a little more time in his little bubble of happiness with Ushijima next to him. 

It’s a comfortable kind of quiet between them, until Ushijima breaks the silence to say what had been on his mind for the past few hours. “Tendou, I would like to apologise.” 

Tendou cracks one eye open in curiosity, perplexed. “Oh? And what have you done that requires any kind of apology? Did you forget to tell me you’re not free for our manga discussion this weekend again?” 

Ushijima frowns and shakes his head, his olive-brown hair flopping around comically, but carries on with a certain determination that speaks about how serious he is. Tendou sits up and faces him, a little apprehensive now. 

“Just then, in the locker room,” he starts after he puts his cup down on the floor.

Tendou’s eye twitches for the barest of moments, but Ushijima's eyes are drawn to the tiny movement anyway. “I am sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.” 

He doesn’t mention how he’d not been in control of his own body, thinking that either way, he had caused a friend discomfort, so it didn’t matter. 

Tendou is surprised to hear his apology, and he struggles to find the right words to say to reassure Ushijima that it hadn’t been his fault - he’s going to keep the actual reason for his misleading reaction to himself though. 

If he even lets a whiff of what’s actually going on in his complicated mind reach Ushijima, his friend would use those eyes of his that he was so weak to to pry answers out of him. He could be persistent when he wanted to be, and god forbid that he ever find out about Tendou’s feelings. 

He forces a smile, trying to piece together the puzzle in his brain that will allow him to stop being all strange and speak like a normal person - coherently, at least. The fact that Ushijima is so close to hitting the bullseye is probably affecting him more than he wants to admit. It’s like there’s a thin wall standing between him and Tendou’s secret that he fears will crumble if he just touches it lightly. 

He sucks in a shallow breath and gets up from his bed, stretching his arms over his head in an attempt to buy his brain some time to fumble for an answer. 

Ushijima’s gaze follows his lean figure, his initial worry fizzling out into something darker when his eyes drop down to the sliver of skin exposed along Tendou’s sweatpants when his shirt lifts up just the tiniest bit. 

Again, Tendou’s words from earlier that are stuck in his head begin to swirl and contort uglily into that terrible feeling in his chest, and he suddenly feels the need for some kind of outlet. 

The darkness curls around his heart, crushing it under its cruel weight as he tries and fails to focus on his own breathing and block out the foreign emotion. 

_Is this really jealousy?_ he thinks to himself as words echo in his head. 

_(He has someone he likes.)_

_Wakatoshi-kun, you’re really something, aren’t you?_

_(He has someone he likes.)_

Ushijima places a hand on his knee and squeezes hard, his knuckles turning white. He doesn’t like that at all. 

He can feel his mind losing control over his body, and he fights hard to stomp out his instincts, which are unsettled and unstable, the pain in his chest being the sole cause. 

Ushijima’s eyes don’t leave Tendou’s back as he stands, quietly. 

His dark eyes take in the loose fitting shirt and long sweatpants that cover up the majority of Tendou’s lanky form, and he finds that he wants them gone. He wants to see, he wants to touch- 

Ushijima’s rational self spirals out of reach when he yields to the unfamiliar urge. 

Tendou, unaware that a storm is brewing from the dark recesses of Ushijima’s mind, hums to himself. He’s finally gotten a little bit of his composure back, so he prepares himself to rebuff Ushijima’s statement from before. 

He spins around. “Wakatoshi-kun, in all honesty-” 

And stops abruptly when he sees Ushijima standing. He cocks an eyebrow at the blank look on his face, one that quickly morphs into something else. 

“Wakatoshi-kun? Do you need to go now?” 

Ushijima ignores him and, instead, takes several slow and deliberate steps towards him, his eyes calculating and piercing. His face is unreadable, and it makes Tendou wrinkle his nose. He doesn’t like not knowing what Ushijima is thinking. 

Tendou figures out that something isn’t quite right when Ushijima drops the mask of neutrality and reveals a dark expression that sends shivers down his spine. “Uhm...” he says unsurely, at a loss for what to do. His fingers twitch at his sides.

 _Did I say something to upset him?_

Ushijima rarely gets angry, but when he does, he’s a sight to behold, coldness seeping from every pore and lethal intent behind his curt, sharp words. It is as terrifying to witness as it is exciting.

But Tendou doesn’t see any hint of anger in his eyes, which are probably the most expressive part of his face, so he’s visibly confused when Ushijima closes the short distance between them with his long legs, with some kind of unknown intention from the way his features are smoothed into something akin to hunger. 

Tendou backs away from Ushijima, his heartbeat jumping unsteadily at the devilish glint in his eyes. He stutters a little when he feels the back of his thighs bump against the solid wood of his study table. 

“D-Did I do something, Wakatoshi-kun?” he says, his voice shaky. 

_Alert. Alert. Tendou Satori’s defense mechanism has malfunctioned. Requesting for immediate back up._

Only, there isn’t any, and Tendou knows this like the back of his hand, because he’s not prepared for the way his legs feel rooted to the ground or the way his brain refuses to listen to his commands. 

All he can think of in that moment is that, 

one, 

he accidentally flipped some sort of imaginary switch that brings out Ushijima’s non-existent playful side, 

or two, 

he’s dreaming. 

Unfortunately for him, neither of those thoughts are the truth, and he learns so when Ushijima takes his final step and towers over his cowering form like a war titan. 

He lets out an unintelligible yelp as Ushijima crowds him against his table at a speed too fast for him to keep up with or escape, which forces him to lean back on his arms as they hold up the weight of his upper body. 

Ushijima’s dark eyes flicker down to his face as he brings his arms up swiftly, placing them on either side of Tendou’s waist and resting them heavily on the edge of the table. He bends forward until their chests are nearly touching and he can hear Tendou’s breathing quicken in mild panic. 

Tendou’s face goes pale then rosy as he splutters out a stream of fractured words and phrases that don’t seem to make sense. It’s almost comical how flustered he is.

Ushijima doesn’t really know what he’s trying to achieve by trapping Tendou against the table, but he finds that he likes the way Tendou is trying his darn best to create some distance between them and failing. He keeps leaning back, but every time he does Ushijima just adjusts his grip on the table and follows. 

The sight reminds him of an unaffectionate cat he’d found on the roadside once that had scratched at him when he tried to pet it. _He thinks he can succeed in his endeavour, that is amusing._

Tendou’s _endeavour_ , as Ushijima calls it, is obviously to wiggle his way out of the tight pincer-like hold on his waist, but it’s not working very effectively since Ushijima clearly doesn’t intend on letting him go. 

The taut muscles on his forearms flex, and his biceps strain to keep Tendou caged between himself and the table. Ushijima almost feels sorry enough to let go when Tendou starts shivering in his grasp - though, not from the cold, he guesses. 

He’s about to release Tendou when another small and timid “Wakatoshi-kun?” assaults his ears and he changes his mind; instead, he bites back a small smile at the pink flush that’s crawling its way up Tendou’s neck. 

It's actually cute how worked up he's getting. 

Standing at almost 190 centimetres, Ushijima is only slightly taller than Tendou, but with the way Tendou is contorting his slimmer body and slouching away from him, he looks massive. 

Tendou swallows hard at their closeness, his heart thundering away behind his ribcage as Ushijima stops crowding him and takes to staring at him instead. He hasn’t said a thing, but the fire behind his eyes is enough to make a flustered blush rise on Tendou’s cheeks. 

His flaming red hair falls over his eyes, messy and long, but for once, he doesn’t brush it away in frustration - maybe it’ll help him hide his embarrassment and shock at being pinned to his table like this. 

And by the one person he never thought would do anything of the sort. 

He can’t breathe, not with the way Ushijima is eyeing him with that sizzling heat in his scorching gaze. 

Tendou doesn’t know what triggered this aggressiveness from his friend, but it’s really not doing his head any good, as it hurts trying to figure out how to get out of Ushijima’s arms and calm him down at the same time. 

His elbows tremble from holding up his weight, and his eyes dart away from Ushijima’s face like he’s a prey caught in a trap. He tries to find his voice again, chuckling weakly when it breaks off at the start of his sentence. “W-Wakatoshi-kun, there’s no need to be so fierce. I’m sure we can talk this out-eek!” 

Tendou squeaks out in alarm when he feels his legs being nudged apart by large hands. A body wedges itself between them. 

His knees almost buckle pathetically when Ushijima presses closer so that they’re flush against each other, hip to hip, chest to chest, and racing heart against racing heart. Though, both are beating so quickly for vastly different reasons. 

Tendou, from fear of unknown territory, and Ushijima, from excitement of a new experience he had no idea could make him feel so victorious. He thinks it could trump even winning a match against a strong opponent.

Tendou inhales sharply, feeling a little crushed under the weight of Ushijima’s heavy, stocky body. He can feel the muscles in Ushijima’s chest contract with each light heave of his lungs, and his neck darkens to a bright red when he realises that Ushijima can probably hear his heart galloping away. 

The man himself can, in fact, hear it, and he thinks it’s a wonderfully pleasant sound to listen to, especially when the very interesting person in his arms is this tall, gangly teen who also happens to be his best friend. 

Yes, there is absolutely nothing strange about what he’s doing to Tendou, none at all. 

Ushijima exhales into Tendou’s neck, his breath hot and moist compared to the cool night air that blows into Tendou’s room through his open window. 

He makes a mental note to close it next time, because Tendou’s skin is freezing against his own, although he isn’t going to complain about the contact. 

Tendou’s hands come up to rest half on his shoulders and half on his upper chest as Ushijima tilts his head downwards a little. Slender fingers fist into the material of his shirt and push, a thrilling kind of resistance that makes his lips curl up at the sides in uncontained smugness. 

He wants to say it. _You’re not going anywhere._

But he doesn’t because he knows that will probably break the fragile atmosphere between them that he’s slowly growing intoxicated to. 

He lowers his head even more, and Tendou freezes when he feels warm puffs of air slapping the side of his neck. He’s very nearly on the verge of having a complete meltdown in Ushijima’s arms, and it doesn’t give any form of reassurance at all that he’ll be getting out of this unscathed when the tip of Ushijima’s nose brushes against his skin. 

Immediately, goosebumps rise on his skin as his brain shuts down and wipes his mind blank. A very loud voice screaming warning inside his head is the only thing that’s keeping from floating away from reality; he simply _cannot_ believe that this is happening to him. 

Ushijima notices the tiny little bumps on his neck, and smiles a small smile of triumph. He’s close enough now that he can tell what Tendou’s body wash is - Tendou’s skin smells suspiciously like fruits, and Ushijima decides that he’ll have to ask Tendou to share some of his soap with him next time. 

Tendou lets his eyelids flutter shut at Ushijima’s sudden halt, and he hopes that if he prays hard enough Ushijima will leave his neck alone and go back to his own room for the day, because, _god,_ he doesn’t think he can handle even another second of this torturous dream that’s been plucked straight out of his fantasies. 

Miraculously, it works. 

In a flash, the heavy presence of Ushijima’s body disappears, leaving him breathless, hugely unsatisfied, but also a tiny bit relieved. 

Maybe Ushijima had managed to fight off whatever strange devil had been possessing him for the previous ten minutes. 

It seems laughable that the amount of time Tendou had spent trying to reason with and escape from Ushijima was so little, but had felt like an eternity when he was still trapped like a rat in a cage. 

Tendou’s eyes snap open when he feels the immovable arms surrounding him leave, and gives himself a mental slap when he catches himself missing the feeling of them settled beside his body. 

_Get a fucking grip on yourself! Just act normal-_

He jumps when Ushijima rumbles at him from the door. “Tendou, I’ll be taking my leave now.” 

Tendou nods mutely and stupidly. His brain hasn’t quite caught up, so he just responds with a simple, “Okay.” 

Ushijima smiles a little at him as he nudges the door open for him to walk through. 

Just before he steps outside, he turns back around and says, with the barest undertone of _feeling_ underneath, “I had fun today. I will see you tomorrow.” 

As the door swings shut he keeps the half-smirk on his face at the ambiguous implication behind his words, staring back almost longingly at Tendou’s frozen form against the table, who still hasn’t moved an inch from his spot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Kudos and comments are very much appreciated, I'd love to know what you guys think about it so far! Hit me up on Instagram @bts_ateez._.suju if you feel like freaking out about our Haikyuu boys with me!! I've been watching so many reaction videos lately that I'm all hyped up again ughhhh


	3. Developing Habits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!!! First off, I would like to start by apologising to my baby Tendou. I could never hurt him, but the scene is unfortunately necessary in my head. Still, this is cute chapter in my opinion. Enjoy!!

It starts out as something small and unnoticeable, these new little adjustments that catch Tendou off guard every single time. They borderline on strange, but aren’t an unwelcome change at all in Tendou’s very secretive opinion. 

However, there are several problems when it comes to the consequences of these so-called changes, whether or not Tendou actually enjoys them doesn't count, because he’s biased that way. 

It can be as insignificant as how his heart nearly collapses in on itself everytime it happens - granted, that doesn’t sound very insignificant at all - or the fact that he’s far from used to whatever _this_ is supposed to be. Even the moments when his teammates and friends start questioning him about the sudden new tension in the air are only mildly worrying. 

The biggest issue by far is the fact that _the_ Ushijima Wakatoshi, who’s known as their very serious, highly unsociable and extremely intimidating volleyball team captain, is apparently trying to _flirt_ with him. 

Now there’s a couple of reasons - actually plenty, but Tendou is going to cut the rest out because there’s just too many - why this is both a bad and a good thing. Though, most are about why it’s bad. 

First of all, this is hardly the kind of behaviour that everyone expects from Ushijima, who’s always maintained a certain distance from his friends, so it kind of throws off everyone around them. It’s made the whole atmosphere _weird_.

Very rarely will Ushijima actively seek out another’s company, except maybe Tendou's, but Tendou is sure that flirting has never been on his list of _things that are worth doing_. He would know, since the sheer number of fans Ushijima has in the volleyball world actually unnerves him sometimes, though the center of attention himself doesn’t acknowledge them much. 

Second, it’s extremely distracting, and Tendou has half a mind to believe that he’s either stuck in a painfully weird dream, or has been struck with some kind of Ushijima-attracting spell while he was asleep. 

In any other situation, he would have been ecstatic that his long-time crush was showing some form of affection towards him specifically, and he might have wondered if the dense block of bricks had finally seen through to his feelings and (unbelievably) decided to return them. But based on the incident that occurred in his dorm room just a week ago, Tendou’s starting to think that Ushijima has a split personality. 

It’s not like he can ask the man himself, because although Tendou may poke fun of and tease his friends, sometimes quite evilly, he does have his own morals, and asking Ushijima if he’s not all there in the head would be undoubtedly rude. 

So he settles for keen observation and, in times when he’s desperate not to have a repeat of their previous encounter, avoidance. 

It’s like that short ten minutes that he had been pinned to the table in his room has taken all his usual fight out of his body, and he finds himself shying away from outstretched hands and casual shoulder brushes on occasions where he feels like he’ll suffocate from Ushijima’s heated stare. 

The last reason why Ushijima’s attention is trouble is the fact that the man has absolutely no understanding of the concept of subtlety. 

He’ll stride up behind Tendou when he’s busy packing his things into his bag and lean over his shoulder to peer into his locker and comment that he had forgotten something. 

The first time this happened, Tendou almost cracked his head on the edge of his locker in shock at the low whisper next to his ear. 

Once, when the whole team had been changing in the clubroom, Ushijima had glanced over at Tendou - who was having a hard time getting his shirt over his own head - crossed over in three big steps and yanked the whole thing off for him. 

All the while advising in a very concerned voice that closely resembled a caring spouse's, “It’s too small for you.” 

Goshiki, their poor underclassman, had been right next to Tendou when that happened, and he’d gone red with embarrassment when he was caught gaping at Ushijima. Even Shirabu had looked confused by this sudden display of affection from the normally stone-faced Ushijima, and Tendou as his best friend had felt downright bewildered. 

Right after Ushijima had left, Semi had leaned into him with this constipated sort of look on his face and whispered, in a disbelieving tone, “Is Wakatoshi into you or something?” Tendou had never wanted to disappear into thin air so badly in his life. 

Whether it's on the court, during their lunch breaks or when they're both curled up on Ushijima's bed reading manga, the man always finds _some_ sort of excuse - sometimes even completely bypassing the excuse part - to get his hands on him in ways that make Tendou's heart nearly cease to function.

On the other hand, having more of Ushijima’s attention makes him feel like he’s floating on clouds, and he doesn’t want it to ever stop; the lingering glances, the not-so-subtle touches and the way he speaks just a tiny bit more tenderly to Tendou and nobody else. 

There’s a thrilling kind of adrenaline that rushes throughout his body whenever Ushijima so much as looks his way, either during practice or when they’re alone in Ushijima’s room reading manga, their shoulders barely touching.

Tendou thinks that if Ushijima doesn’t stop whatever he’s doing soon, he’ll ultimately get used to it and become a slave to those small acts that make his heartbeat race. He’s already far too attached to them as it is now. 

Tendou slams his head into his desk, startling several of his classmates as they turn to find the source of the loud noise. He ignores their curious stares, and instead stands up abruptly, much to the terrified shock of the girl sitting next to him. 

Without a backward glance at the people in his class, he strides off, his jaw set and his long legs eating up the ground with frightening efficiency. 

_I need a break before I get a heart attack._ The bathroom it is. 

As he spies his destination at the other end of the corridor, he takes note of the other students around him, most of whom are moving in the opposite direction, which signals to him that he doesn’t have much time before his next class will start.

He’s so focused on figuring out how to best confront Ushijima about his recent questionable behaviour that he doesn’t notice the students around him giving him a wide berth as he stomps through the throng. 

Usually he would have given mock waves and salutes to some of the nastier bullies who’d tried picking on him when he first entered the school, but he’s much too busy pondering over whether he should ask Semi and Oohira for help. 

Sure, the team had been suspicious of what had triggered Ushijima’s sudden new tendencies, but no one dared to face the biggest question - if Ushijima unknowingly had a softer side after all. 

Tendou groans as he sweeps into a stall and closes the door with a loud “Screw this shit!” Thankfully, the place is empty and he doesn’t have to bother muting his frustrated grumbling. 

He sits down on the closed lid of the toilet bowl, silently sulking at his misfortune of having to worry about what the hell is going on in his friend’s head. 

From his perspective, Ushijima probably finds it amusing that Tendou is reacting so violently to his affections, judging from the irritating little quirks of his mouth that hide full-blown smiles whenever Tendou goes red with embarrassment after he pulls one of his stunts. 

_He thinks it’s fun to see me getting all wound up, huh?_

Tendou bites back an indignant huff at the thought that Ushijima of all people would be the one to get such pleasure from something so utterly stupid. _He is an idiot._ Tendou thinks. 

A sudden rush of water from outside tells him that he’s no longer alone in the bathroom and, all of a sudden, Tendou wants to get out before someone comes banging on his door to complain he’s been inside too long. 

He’s buzzing with anxious energy for some reason, as if his body can sense that something’s about to happen that he won’t necessarily like. 

Quietly, he unlocks his door and steps out to head straight for the exit without even glancing toward the person at the sinks. 

“Tendou?” 

He stops dead in his tracks at the familiar voice, and his tongue gets twisted up so badly that he can’t even speak. 

_Breathe._ He breathes. 

And whirls around with renewed vigour, determined not to let this encounter fluster him more than it already does. “Wakatoshi-kun? Whatcha you doin’ here?” 

Ushijima stares at him. “I’m here to use the washroom...” 

His tone makes it sound like he thought it would have been obvious, and Tendou huffs out a guffaw at him. 

He wheezes. “I meant, what’re you doing here, instead of at your classroom. The bell will be ringing any minute now.” 

“Ah, I see. Sorry. It was urgent, so I got a teacher’s pass.” 

Tendou stifles a snigger, stepping forward a little and cocking his head, previous nerves forgotten - that tends to happen around Ushijima more often than not, and it’s infuriating how he can get Tendou’s guard to be let down so easily. 

“You’re going to be late if you don’t get going soon.” he teases, completely disregarding the fact that he is just as likely to be scolded if he lingers in the toilet any longer. 

Well, he only gets to see Ushijima at lunch during school hours, no one can blame him for wanting to stay a little longer. 

Ushijima nods in acknowledgement. “Yes, I believe we will be. We should go.” 

Tendou cracks another fond smile at him as he looks towards the clock hanging on the wall to the left. He’s about to respond, when he feels a chill in the room. 

He shivers as he hears the glass of the window panes creak under the force of the wind. Sometimes, summer has some of the coldest breezes that are comparable to the ones in winter. His white school blazer, complete with a light blue undershirt and purple tie, suddenly feels insufficient against the dark clouds hanging over the blackening sky, and he wraps it around himself extra tightly to preserve the warmth of his body. 

“It’s pretty bad weather we got here today huh?” 

Ushijima follows his gaze as he steps forward to reach him. “Yes.” He turns his head back to study Tendou’s slouching figure. “Are you cold?” 

Tendou shrugs lightly, unbunching his shoulders right as a particularly strong gust of wind wins its war against the window pane and forces itself through the gap it makes between the sill and the glass. 

He grimaces as his tie flaps loosely, helplessly. “I guess a little. I’ve never liked the cold much.” It’s an understatement, actually, and most likely as unconvincing as his reassuring expression is.

Ushijima continues to look at him, a thoughtful expression on his face as he turns something over in his mind. “You didn’t bring your jacket?” 

Tendou shrugs again. “Didn’t think I’d need it. When I left my house, it was perfectly sunny.” 

Frowning, Ushijima seems to choose his words carefully before he opens his mouth. And his next words are completely unexpected. “Then, would you like to borrow mine?” 

Tendou is struck dumb for a second, before heat rushes up to his ears as he processes Ushijima’s words. “Huh?” 

Ushijima is already unzipping the jacket he’s wearing, its purple accents and white front acting as a reminder that Ushijima never lends his clothes to other people. Why would he? It isn’t like they can fit anybody anyway with the clothes sizes he has.

Tendou looks on in mild shock as Ushijima hands him the article of clothing, almost shoving it into his hands as he walks up to him. “Here, you can use mine for the time being.” 

Tendou gapes at him. “But- But Wakatoshi-kun, don’t you need it too? You must have brought it for a reason.” 

Ushijima’s stare grows uncomfortably hot as he trails his eyes down Tendou’s lithe figure, and Tendou’s free fingers drum against the side of his thigh nervously. He feels like he’s being picked apart and analysed by those dark eyes, and he isn’t sure if he likes it at all. 

Ushijima’s unreadable gaze returns to his face, where Tendou swears he can see a glimmer of what looks like appreciation in those olive-green eyes that sparkle when Tendou blinks. 

_I must be hallucinating_ is his first thought as he flushes, his cheeks burning red hot and his hands sweating a little. 

“You look like you need it more than I do, Tendou.” 

The way his name rolls off the tip of Ushijima’s tongue feels perfect, so he holds back any protests that were about to make their way out of his mouth. The moment is back, but it feels less heated and more gentle. 

Tendou releases a breath as his lips quirk up into a small smile. “Thank you, Wakatoshi-kun.” 

Then the bell really does ring, and the tender moment is gone, leaving the two boys to rush to their respective venues with promises to meet up for lunch later on. 

  
  
  
  


Semi tries very hard not to stare at Tendou. More specifically, at the jacket Tendou is currently wearing, which does not look like his own at all. Semi narrows his eyes to try and figure out why he feels like something is off and he’s not seeing it. 

Tendou looks tiny in the jacket - if a man over 180 centimetres can even look tiny to begin with - with his hands hidden in his sleeves and his chin tucked into the collar as he shifts around in his seat to find a more comfortable position. 

He’s already eaten his fill of lunch, and his empty tray sits beside him on the table, blissfully forgotten as Tendou’s head dips down and up time and again. Apparently, he’s sleepy, but Semi thinks it’s just an excuse to avoid answering his questions, because he’s practically bursting at the seams holding back the onslaught of words shoved into the back of his throat. 

It’s annoying, but with Ushijima sitting right across Tendou eating peacefully, and Oohira opposite himself raising his thick eyebrows at him, he can’t bear to disturb the seemingly tranquil atmosphere and risk Ushijima nagging at him. 

He’s been doing that a lot lately whenever Tendou complains to him that Semi’s been bugging him too much, and it makes his mind numb that Ushijima is actually listening to their ridiculous conversations and butting in to tell him off for poking into other people’s business. 

Who does he think he is? Tendou’s mother? 

_More like his boyfriend._ His brain hisses at him, which not only raises flags in his mind but also causes a mini internal debate about whether or not it’s even possible for Ushijima to be such a caring lover. 

It’s an interesting thought, but one that he sadly cannot confirm because Tendou won’t tell him anything. The one time he’d brought up how Ushijima had started becoming more openly friendly with him, Tendou had gone still and hurriedly escaped the conversation with the lame excuse that he was tired. 

Semi is sure that something’s happened between the two of them that Tendou won’t spit out, but that doesn’t mean he can’t put two and two together to find out the reason why he feels like there’s a huge secret hanging over their table. 

He realises that the jacket is most definitely not Tendou’s when his friend lifts up a hand that’s drowning in fabric to cover up a yawn. It’s obvious that it’s way too big and it hangs from his frame like an oversized sweater. The question is, who does it belong to? 

So Semi strikes when Tendou lifts his cup that’s almost drained of water to his mouth. “Satori, that’s not your jacket, is it?” 

The effect is more violent than he expects. 

Tendou chokes and drops his cup, which goes clattering onto the table and rolls away as if it doesn’t want anything more to do with him. Ushijima looks up from his food in alarm at the same time that Oohira nudges Semi to ask him what he’s doing. 

Tendou doubles over in his seat, coughing and spluttering as he tries to hack up the water that’s gone down the wrong pipe. 

Ushijima springs out of his chair with surprising speed and doesn’t even bother crossing to the other side of the table the way a normal person would; he just vaults over it like some comic book superhero and crouches next to Tendou, patting his back repeatedly in an effort to help. 

Semi stares at the hand on Tendou’s quivering back, and suspicion enters his system again. _There’s something going on with these two._ He keeps it to himself for now, but watches slightly guiltily as Tendou resurfaces from below the table top, wheezing a little. 

His voice is scratchy and raw from all the coughing when he finally manages to get some words out. “What?” 

Semi shrugs and puts an elbow on the table so he can lean forward with his chin on his palm. “It looks way too big for you. Whose is it?” He is kind of curious, though he can guess exactly who it belongs to now that he’s seen Tendou’s reaction to his question. 

Tendou’s face is red, most likely because of the choking, but it grows impressively redder at Semi’s questioning. 

“No-” he starts, just as Ushijima says in this perplexed voice that halts all conversation at their table. “It’s mine.” Oohira stares at Ushijima in surprise, having not caught the detail that Tendou’s jacket isn’t actually his. 

Semi maintains his straight face, although, internally he’s smirking in triumph. “Yeah, I guessed.” 

Tendou whips around to face him fully from where he had smashed his face into the table. “You _guessed_??” 

Semi gives him a knowing half smile, and replies in a teasing tone that makes Tendou’s ears turn just as red as his face. “Yeah, I did.” His eyes are the exact opposite, pinning Tendou in place with a sharp and accusatory stare that he flinches away from. 

_You’d better tell me what’s going on_ is the message he’s trying to convey. Tendou glares back, his gaze ablaze with indignation and defiance. He won’t tell anybody, not even Semi, especially not Semi. 

“Is there something wrong with me lending Tendou my jacket? He said he was cold.” Ushijima looks genuinely confused at Oohira’s astonishment, as if he can’t fathom why it’s so strange that his usually stone-cold self is warming up more to his best friend out of the blue. Definitely nothing suspicious there. 

Semi waves a hand dismissively as he breaks off the stare down he had initiated with Tendou. “Nothing’s wrong. Absolutely nothing is out of the ordinary, Wakatoshi.” 

He doesn’t miss the kick that Tendou aims at his leg, and gives a self-satisfied smirk when he manages to dodge the flying appendage. 

Tendou sinks back down into his seat and stuffs his hands into the pockets of Ushijima’s jacket - well, his for now. He might or might not have buried his nose into the fabric more than once to breathe in the scent of peppermint that he knew belonged to Ushijima. 

The man was obsessed with using peppermint oil as a way to relieve the ache of his muscles after practices, and more than once when Tendou draped himself over Ushijima like the overly friendly person he is, he would catch a small whiff of peppermint on him, on his clothes. It was addicting. 

That said, he also did have an entirely justifiable reason for keeping his head burrowed into the collar of Ushijima’s jacket. It had gotten colder throughout the day, so when the heating on the second floor, where the third-year classrooms were, had malfunctioned a little it caused the whole floor to be plunged into a temporarily freezing environment before the school had managed to get the problem under control. 

At first, Tendou had been much too occupied with keeping himself as warm as possible for those terrible fifteen minutes of icy (probably only to him, but small details don’t matter), humid air surrounding him to think of anything else. 

When the heating had been fixed and they’d all settled back down into their routine of teacher talks, students don’t listen, teacher scolds, students still don’t listen, Tendou remembered that the jacket wasn’t his, and immediately felt guilty. 

Ushijima’s classroom was on the same floor as his, and no matter how much the latter assured him that he didn’t feel as cold as Tendou, he couldn’t stop worrying that he’d suffered for that short period of time. 

So he’d resolved to return the jacket first thing when they met up during lunch, only that Ushijima had insisted he keep it and that he’d been completely fine even when the heater broke down. 

Reluctantly, he had kept the jacket on, but now he was grateful for the extra warmth it gave his skinny body. The trapped air between him and the much-too-large-for-him jacket acted as an additional layer of heat insulation. 

He didn’t know that Semi would notice that he wasn’t wearing his own jacket, which was why he’d panicked and almost keeled over when he felt water sloshing down his windpipe. 

Tendou watches Ushijima from the corner of his eyes, pretending to observe the people behind him when Semi turns his way with a wry smile on his face. 

_That was close…_ He thinks to himself as he returns to staring at Ushijima, who’s finishing up the remains of his meal with his eyes trained on the single piece of sushi left on his tray. 

Tendou’s heart squeezes with affection when Ushijima picks it up delicately with his chopsticks and swallows it down with this cute expression on his face that screams innocent. 

Tendou flops back down onto the table with a crash, groaning. 

He’s so fucked. He loves him so fucking much.

Semi prods him in the back once, twice, but he doesn’t rise to the bait. Instead, he mopes to himself, wishing that he knew the reason for Ushijima’s attention. 

It’s getting harder to come up with excuses to keep his mind off the glaringly obvious fact that Ushijima is being much too touchy with him to be considered normal, not to mention how openly nice he’s been. 

Tendou ignores the concerned questions from Oohira, choosing to close his eyes and lose himself to the blissful ignorance of sleep. 

  
  
  
  


It’s a quiet Saturday morning, and Ushijima, ever the early riser, had shown up on Tendou’s doorstep, or well, in front of his room the moment Tendou’s alarm had gone off. 

He hadn’t forgotten their plans to exchange more manga theories today, but the sight of Ushijima clad in tight-fitting jeans and an equally form-hugging shirt so early in the morning had short-circuited his brain momentarily. 

He’d ended up staring sleepily - and possibly quite dumbly - at Ushijima for a while, before the man had invited himself inside after one look at Tendou’s half asleep expression. 

“I assume you just woke up.” he had said, a slight smile on his face as he took in Tendou’s messy bed hair and unguarded stance. 

Tendou had replied with a stupid-looking grin, before apologising and walking out to get ready in the men’s bathroom. He’d come back not ten minutes later with his hair down and his face cheerful. 

That had been a relatively normal start to his day, if you ignored the part where he slapped himself in the bathroom several times to shake the pure thirst from his droopy eyes. 

Ushijima, as always, was a delight to be with, because he let Tendou speak his mind and say whatever he wanted. It was a nice feeling to have someone listening so attentively to his normally skimmed over commentary, although having Ushijima stare at him so intensely with concentration, like he doesn’t want to miss anything Tendou’s saying, makes him a tiny bit restless as well. 

When half past ten rolls around, Tendou switches his sitting position for a starfish one on the floor, where his hair is strewn all over the place and Ushijima is still listening to him go off about some fantasy manga he’s been reading lately. 

Glancing at the clock, Ushijima joins Tendou on the floor of his room, his gaze soft and open as he takes in the scarlet locks of hair right next to his crossed legs and the curve of Tendou’s jaw as he speaks animatedly. 

Absentmindedly, Ushijima reaches out a hand to stroke the soft mop of red on top of Tendou’s unsuspecting head as he focuses back onto the book he’s holding. He hears Tendou’s sharp inhalation and bites back a grin. 

Tendou’s stiff posture slowly starts to relax as Ushijima continues to massage his scalp with strong fingers, and he sighs eventually when Ushijima brushes a feather-light touch over his forehead before plunging his hand back into the mess of hair. 

As Ushijima combs through the tangles in his hair, Tendou somehow shifts so that his head is on his thigh; Ushijima uncurls his legs to make it more comfortable for him to do so. Tendou hums a little as Ushijima’s hand returns to his head. “Someone’s feeling generous today.” 

Ushijima turns his head slightly to look at him, and Tendou gives a lazy smile when he sees the little quirk at the corner of Ushijima’s mouth. “You’ve been looking-” he pauses to find the right word. “-stressed lately. I thought this might help.” 

“Mm, it does.” Tendou sighs appreciatively, not entirely comprehending the fact that Ushijima is looking at him in mild concern now. “Thanks, Wakatoshi-kun.” 

It’s silent for a while, before,

“Tendou. Are you...going to confess to that person you like?” 

Tendou’s eyes snap open at that, and he sits upright hastily to cover up his expression of panic. 

_Deep breaths. Deep breaths._

“Why do you ask?” He’s surprised by the level of stability his voice possesses, when inside he’s very nearly having a mental breakdown at the sudden stab in the gut the question brings him. 

Ushijima stares at the back of his head, his expression forlorn as he contemplates the reason why he’s even bothering to ask. Yes, why? Why is he so bothered by the fact that his best friend has someone he likes? He himself doesn’t actually know the answer to that, so he can’t really tell Tendou anything either. 

“I- I don’t know.” he eventually says, soft and frustrated as his eyebrows crease and his mouth turns down into a flat line. 

Tendou stills at his tone, the haunting confusion in it giving rise to a beacon of painful hope. Hope that he squashes down as soon as he feels it bubbling inside his chest, which aches at the thought of pushing Ushijima away when he wants nothing more than to hold onto him. 

He lets out a shuddering breath as he attempts to calm his heart. The air has turned sour and heavy, and he doesn’t like that his safe haven is being breached by this tension, this suffocating need to do something, _say_ something. 

“To answer your question,” he continues anyway, plowing ahead even when his mind tells him it’s probably better to just change the subject. 

He’s sick and tired of this front he puts up, this mask that he desperately keeps on despite wanting to express his want for what he considers as forbidden. It’s been months since he’s given his own feelings any real thought, and it’s now coming back to wreak havoc on his mind. 

What he wants is Ushijima Wakatoshi, and it’s ironically the one thing he can’t have. 

His personality is shit, he’s a man, and most of all, Ushijima doesn’t return his feelings. All of them are reasons why he shouldn’t ever let his own feelings out into the world, no matter how much his friends pester him for information. 

He takes in a deep breath. He’s going to take this particular secret to his grave, even if it hurts him to do so. 

He swallows thickly as he sits up on his heels, his head suddenly foggy and sluggish like he’s just run a marathon without a break. “No, I don’t plan to.” 

Unknown to him, Ushijima shifts in his seat to face his back, which shakes minutely when Tendou drags a hand through his hair; Ushijima’s frown deepens at the bitterness and anguish in his normally chipper voice. 

“Why?” he asks, even though he doesn’t really want to know. He doesn’t like the idea of Tendou smiling for anyone but him, of Tendou sharing his time with anyone else. 

Tendou stays silent for a moment, and Ushijima half thinks that he’s not going to answer him. But then, a resigned sigh escapes Tendou’s dejected form, and Ushijima’s heart clenches painfully at the appallingly vulnerable sight. “Because they don’t like me that way. Why would they?” 

Ushijima blurts out his words before he can even process them. “Why wouldn’t they?” 

Tendou looks up at the ceiling and blinks fast. “I’m not exactly the kind of person one would want to spend their entire life with, Wakatoshi-kun.” 

Ushijima jerks back with a start, shocked. A wave of anger crests at an alarming speed in his head, and he balls his fists by his sides, unwilling to explode like he feels he’s going to. 

Instead, he says in a measured voice, carefully, meticulously filtering out any trace of his growing rage. “That’s not true.” 

_Who made him feel this way?_ Ushijima thinks, furious. 

It’s not the first time he’s gotten angry on behalf of his friends, but it’s different this time. Tendou’s back seems so frail, so skinny, and he sounds so unlike himself that Ushijima hates it. 

He hates the way Tendou pretends he’s alright even when he’s not. He hates that he can’t do anything to protect him from whatever he’s going through. Even more so, he hates the thought that Tendou wants to spend the rest of his life with someone who isn’t him, someone who doesn’t give him the love he deserves. 

Ushijima grinds his teeth. He despises this. 

Tendou gives a half-hearted chuckle, not even bothering to conceal his sadness anymore. _It’s not like he’ll ever know why, I might as well let it out and hope for some comforting words._

He’s not prepared for the deep, chillingly serious voice from behind him. “You’re worthy.” 

The two words are insignificant on their own, but to Tendou, they feel like a breath of fresh air above the water’s surface, where he’d been flailing about in moments ago. They feel like a knife being plunged into his heart. 

_You’re worthy._

Childhood memories resurface, of times when he’d been judged, poked at and made fun of because of his looks. Most recently, when the upperclassmen in school had picked on him when he first enrolled into Shiratorizawa Academy, all lanky and long-limbed and still unable to defend himself. He’s reminded of the students that go out of their way to avoid him, because he’s weird, and he’s a freak and he’s scary-looking. 

Ushijima’s expressionless face punctuates the walk down memory lane a little too precisely, and Tendou feels as if he’s about to cry. 

_You’re worthy. You’re not unlovable._

He casts aside the book that he had been holding onto tightly and hears it thump onto the floor, before rubbing at his eyes furiously with the base of his palms so that Ushijima won’t see that he’s a couple of seconds away from bawling. 

“Tendou,” Ushijima says before stopping altogether, his expression pained. 

Tendou doesn’t turn around to look at him, too embarrassed to do so after basically spilling his secret to the source of all his pain without him even knowing - it’s still hard to stomach though he hasn’t given a name. 

He fears he will cave in if he doesn’t get out of here soon. 

He’s about to stand when a calloused hand on his forearm yanks him down with strength that he’s unable to match. He lets loose a shocked yelp as he topples over backwards, screwing his eyes shut as he feels his body tipping over. 

Ushijima gets onto his knees as he wrenches Tendou into his embrace, and feels him stiffen in surprise. He wraps his arms around Tendou’s slimmer waist and pulls him closer still as he rests his chin on Tendou’s shoulder. 

He stays like this for a while, until Tendou snakes his arms around him just as tightly and returns the gesture gratefully. 

Tendou doesn’t cry, he doesn’t even make a sound, but as the warmth of Ushijima’s body surrounds him like a comforting blanket on a stormy winter night, he can’t help but sink into it, and allow himself to just bask in the moment a little longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are appreciated!!! Actually, I love to read people's comments because that makes me happy and occasionally keeps me motivated to make this work even better even if I've already finished writing everything. I'll go and check if there's anything else I can add or brush up on just for my readers hahaha!! Hope you guys like this, don't hesitate to comment on which parts of each chapter are your favs, cause I have my own and I could share them with you guys too!! See you in the next chapter!


	4. Jealousy's a Good Look On You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooo wonderful people!!! Thank you so much to everyone who left comments on the last chapter, y'all are so sweet!!😭
> 
> Also, for this installment we have jealous Ushijima HA, so watch out!!! Hope this is enjoyable for you to read!! ;)

They don’t mention the incident at all. In fact, it’s as if it never happened. 

Tendou reverts back to his outgoing, friendly self, while Ushijima remains as impassive as ever. But something between them has changed, and they both know it. Tendou doesn’t cling to Ushijima as much as he used to, and Ushijima finds that he doesn’t like it one bit. 

Instead of chattering to Ushijima like he always does during practices, Tendou has taken to fawning over their first years more than usual, cackling loudly when they shy away from his terrible advice with matching looks of horror and cooing when they rush up to him for praise after a good play. 

It continues for an unbearably long time, and everytime Ushijima tries to confront Tendou about it, the man will avoid the topic and give some sort of excuse as to why he isn’t acting like his usual self. 

As the days turn into weeks, Ushijima finds himself getting more and more frustrated and, unfortunately for him, it shows during their constant practices. 

“Wakatoshi, you feeling alright?” Semi’s voice is less familiar than Tendou’s but welcome all the same, because he’s trying hard to not concentrate on the fact that Tendou might be avoiding him, so having someone talk to him is a much needed distraction. 

He squeezes the volleyball in his hands, _hard_ , feeling it deflate a little under his monstrous grasp. “Yes, is there a reason you are asking?” he all but growls as he watches Tendou drape a long arm across Goshiki’s shoulders. 

His shoulders tense up slightly when Tendou lets out a particularly bright peal of laughter, the sound cutting straight through the competitive tension in the air and searing into his chest like an invisible laser beam. He rubs his chest as discreetly as he can. 

His dark eyes don’t leave Tendou’s form even when he moves to disturb Kawanishi, who swats him away with a scowl on his face. 

“Not really...” Semi eyes the way Ushijima is denting the volleyball in his hands, not sure if he should interrupt his obvious staring to point out that it’s his turn for serving practice. Fortunately, he doesn’t have to, because Ushijima snaps out of whatever daze he’s in to take his place quickly at the back of the court.

The first and second-years that are behind him in the rotation take the chance to peer around Semi and watch him, fascinated as he tosses the ball up in a perfect arc. It’s high, and as it falls back down to earth, and to Ushijima by default, a flash of red in his peripheral view makes his jaw clench tightly with annoyance.

Tendou is on the opposite side of the court now, this time fooling around with Shirabu as they trade their usual mocking banter. Shirabu snaps at him, but Tendou just grins smugly and shrugs it off, used to his prickly nature. 

Then Tendou ruffles the top of Shirabu’s head like he’s a disobedient puppy who needs to learn respect, much to Shirabu’s protest if his indignant screech of surprise is anything to go by. 

Ushijima remembers the way Tendou’s fingers feel fisted nervously in his shirt, over his shoulders as he leans down close, and his mind goes haywire at the thought of those same fingers on another’s body so intimately. 

As he jumps up to meet his serve toss, which he notes is in a perfect position, he lets his frustration out when his palm makes contact with the ball; at the same time, his mind screams _Why?_ at him mercilessly. 

He uses a considerable amount of his strength to push out the storm of negativity in his head, although it doesn’t really work and probably isn’t a good idea when he’s not in an actual game. 

The ball goes down with an almighty slam on the court, scaring off the younger ones who had been practicing on the other side as it bounces up and ricochets off the wall at the other end of the gym. 

Ushijima lands with a solid thump, his expression schooled back into a mask of neutrality as he catches a glimpse of a nod from Coach Washijo. He whirls around, much to the awe of the others behind him, who leave him alone as he sits down heavily on a bench to cool his head. 

The last thing he wants to do is break his concentration during a practice session, but he can’t help it. 

He can’t ignore the way his heart throbs in his chest when he realises that Tendou is actively trying to avoid him and he wonders if maybe he had overstepped some kind of boundary the other day. He’s never been good at comforting people, much less his friends, so he’d done the only thing he could think of in his emotionally-charged state. 

He’d remembered warm hugs during his childhood, when he was sick and his mother had taken care of him meticulously to nurse him back to health. 

Ushijima can still feel the weight of Tendou’s head on his shoulder, his cheek pressed against the side of his neck as he tightens his hold on Tendou’s waist. They’d fitted together like complementary puzzle pieces, and it was unlike anything he’d ever experienced before. 

Ushijima catches Tendou looking at him with concern when his gaze shifts over to the right. He doesn’t look away, but Tendou does, further proving his theory that he’s done something wrong and upset his friend somehow. 

Tendou Satori doesn’t _back down_ from a challenge so easily. He stares back twice as hard and with condescending superiority at anyone who dares to try and intimidate him, and he’s always up for a reckless suggestion of games and fun when they’re celebrating a win after a tough match. 

Ushijima resolves to corner him later on when practice is over, preferably in his room where he can’t escape and where Ushijima can just use brute force to keep him there - he hopes it won’t come to that, though he’s tempted to do it just to see Tendou flustered again.

He licks his lips when Tendou’s shirt flaps and accidentally rides up on his flat stomach in the breeze that’s blowing in from the entrance to the gym. Pale skin under the black shirt of their practice clothes hypnotises him momentarily before it’s his turn to serve again. 

Ushijima stands stiffly, trying to relax his muscles as he steps into place for another powerful serve.

Yes, he’ll have to ask him why he’s been acting so strange lately. 

  
  
  
  


Tendou lets out a tired sigh as he sinks down into his chair and sprawls out on top of his half completed homework. He’s stuck on yet another math problem that involves brain power that he’s certain he doesn’t have and too many quadratic formulas to count. He dislikes those.

It’s night time, and he’s already planned to go to sleep earlier than usual today, so he’s surprised when he hears the familiar knocks on his door as he’s trying to get past the last few sums on his worksheet. 

_What’s he doing here at this time?_

Tendou rises from his chair gingerly - he’s never been suited for long hours of sitting and studying - wincing as he bumps into the table edge in his haste, but goes to open the door while ignoring the nervous fluttering in his stomach. _Maybe he just wants to return my book._

It is a poor excuse to dispel his sixth sense, which tells him that Ushijima is definitely not here just to return a book when he can do that the next day, especially because it’s already so late.

_Yeesh, it’s nearly eleven._

Ushijima stands outside with an unusually blank face, and when Tendou invites him in with a cheery smile just like he’d done that fateful morning some weeks ago, he wants to believe that everything is back to normal. 

His dark hair is wet and a few loose strands fall over his forehead as he nods in greeting before looking around.

“Homework?” he asks tentatively, quietly, so that he doesn’t scare Tendou away. 

Tendou makes a face, one silly and endearing enough to make Ushijima’s heart unclench a little but at the same time long to do something to unknot the tight coil in his chest. “Yeah, I’ve been behind lately. I wouldn’t want to get kicked off the team.” 

“I would not like that.” he answers immediately, and glances away quickly from Tendou’s look of surprise. 

Ushijima zeroes in on the questions he’s left blank on his table, and he finds himself reluctant to bring up the reason why he’d come over so late at night when he should be letting Tendou sleep. His mouth goes uncharacteristically dry at the thought of leaving without resolving a bit of whatever _this_ is between them. 

“Do you need help?” he offers instead with a small forced smile, to which Tendou blinks at for a couple of seconds before accepting. “Sure. I could use some help. Those quadratic equations are a nightmare sometimes. And it’s not like I’m that stupid or anything-” 

Ushijima is incredulous at his sudden change in demeanor, so unlike the flighty, evasive one he’d been dealing with for the majority of the past month. He’s missed this, he realises after a while of Tendou talking his ear off and him attempting to use his only slightly better than average math skills to coach Tendou into finishing his homework. 

He’s smiling more genuinely by the time Tendou has nailed the last question on the head, and he takes to observing his best friend again - can he even call him that when he’s been harbouring strange feelings for him lately? 

Ushijima shakes the thought out of his head. He’ll cross that bridge when he’s sure of what he’s feeling for Tendou. Then maybe he’ll make the decision to change their relationship as he so desires, of course, provided Tendou accepts. 

The crease in Tendou’s forehead deepens cutely as he yaks away with apparent disgust on his face - “Wakatoshi-kun, never give me any vanilla ice cream. I will _puke_ on you.” , “Oh, that would be bad. I will keep that in mind.” 

He keeps his gaze on the top of Tendou’s head. He wants to smooth out the wrinkles that have formed there.

Ushijima reaches a hand up and presses two fingers to Tendou’s forehead, effectively shutting him up and flattening out the lines he had been staring at intently all at the same time. 

Tendou feels all the blood in his brain rush down to his face as Ushijima’s warm fingers rub into his skin soothingly, rendering him speechless, mindless and very much agitated. Sparks burst underneath his skin.

His whole body itches to lean into the touch on his skin, but he’s only too aware of his thundering heartbeat to do so, even unconsciously. He desperately wants to pull away so that he can make sure his heartbeat can’t be heard, but the fond look on Ushijima’s face makes him stay in place. 

Fiercely, he fights down the blush that’s threatening to make itself known on his cheeks, his neck and his ears, but abandons that mission to hold his breath when Ushijima scoots closer from where he’s standing beside him. 

Ushijima frowns in concern when he notices that Tendou’s skin is flushed and hot, and he looks like he’s going to pass out at any moment. Immediately, he thinks the worst and hopes that Tendou isn’t coming down with a fever. 

“Are you unwell?” he murmurs, softly.

He keeps his hand on Tendou’s forehead, and the thought that it might be because of him that Tendou’s so red doesn’t cross his mind. Tendou thinks he'll combust if Ushijima comes any closer, so he shakes his head with effort, and tries to reassure him that he’s totally fine. 

Well, except for the fact that he’s hopelessly in love with the dense idiot and wants nothing more than to snuggle into the warmth of his palm. “I’m fine, Wakatoshi-kun. No fever, whatsoever.” 

He expects Ushijima to let him go, because he said he’s perfectly healthy - just not around Ushijima - but Ushijima startles him when he slides his hand down to cup his jaw in one hand. 

Tendou’s already huge red eyes widen slightly when Ushijima squeezes, his large hand skimming his cheekbones on both sides. “Then why have you been avoiding me in favour of the first years?” 

The slightly hurt look in his eyes does little to get rid of Tendou’s growing anxiety at their compromising position, and Tendou feels his heart crack a little at the reflection of his own scared pupils in Ushijima’s crestfallen gaze. 

He knows that Ushijima isn't just talking about practice. It's about every single time that he's rejected his touches, his quietly-spoken words, his _company_. He'd known this would come sooner or later, but he's still unprepared for the determination in those clear olive-brown eyes that he's met with.

The moment is tense and still, just like the first time they had come this close to each other, and it’s as if there’s an invisible string tightened between them, and one wrong move will snap it if they’re not careful. 

Tendou swallows down the lump in his throat and tries not to think about how close their faces are together. He thinks about it anyway as his eyes drift down to rest on Ushijima’s mouth. A tilt of his head would bring his own lips that much closer. 

The mouth twitches at one corner, and he frantically looks back up. Ushijima’s still looking at him with that same kicked look, like someone’s left him by the roadside without so much of a warning. It hurts to see him make a face like this. And to know that _he's_ the reason that Ushijima is making such an expression.

Tendou tries to smile, although he’ll admit it doesn’t feel the least bit convincing. “I have? Since when?” 

Ushijima gives him a flat look at his attempt to evade the question, and Tendou tries for a different approach to distract him. He forces a teasing grin on his face, feeling like absolute shit when he spits out his next words almost unthinkingly. “Why, are you jealous, Wakatoshi-kun? The first years aren’t going to get better by themselves you know?” 

He regrets his words the instant he sees something shift in Ushijima’s unimpressed expression. _Now I’ve done it._

He prepares for a denial, and looks away purposefully while Ushijima is still silent and contemplating his question. He also tries to extract his face from Ushijima’s hand, but the man’s tight grip isn’t easy to break, so he eventually gives up with a defeated sigh. 

His heart thuds heavily, and his hair flops over his eyes annoyingly. He blows it out of the way with a huff.

Ushijima turns the question around in his head several times, and he stays quiet as he tries to formulate his answer. Is he jealous? Was that why he’d been so upset today? He purses his lips together, unable to come up with a concrete reason to say no. 

“...If I say that I am,” Tendou whips his eyes back onto him, and Ushijima thinks, _I can use this to my advantage._ “-will you stop avoiding me?” he replies slyly instead. If he can't get him to spill the reason, he'll just have to do this the hard way.

Tendou gapes at him from below, utterly speechless at how the tables have turned on him. “Y-You- I- What?” 

Ushijima sets his jaw, and shuffles closer so that his thigh is pressed against Tendou’s arm. His back bends forward and he’s suddenly a hundred times closer, with his gigantic bulk looming in front of Tendou; a tall, hard wall of muscle. He doesn’t repeat his question. 

And he continues on when it becomes clear that Tendou, who’s gone delightfully red again, isn’t in any condition to answer him. 

Ushijima makes a bold statement, hoping it will make Tendou understand better about how he feels being treated like the plague so suddenly and without valid reason. Or, at the very least, fluster him till he agrees not to avoid him anymore. “It bothers me when you avoid me, Tendou.” 

The implication is clear although Ushijima doesn’t say it out loud. _Are you not my best friend?_

Tendou flushes pink when Ushijima shakes his hand a bit, making his cheeks squish together. He looks sort of like a puffer fish with its body inflated - minus the spikes - and Ushijima’s eye twitches when he catches Tendou’s lips sticking out in a pout in the process. _That is...distracting._

Ushijima pushes on regardless of the greedy snake that’s winding its way around his body and whispering into his ear certain _things_ that he does not want to think about right now. He’s sure that he’s got Tendou where he wants him, and he does his best not to lose his train of thought. 

“Don’t avoid me.” he says in a hushed tone, gruff and low. It’s more of a demand than a request, and it makes a cold shiver run down Tendou’s spine. 

Ushijima watches as Tendou’s eyes go blank. He nods, and the same dazed expression remains on his face even after several seconds.

“Good.” Ushijima says finally, his thoughts scattered and halfway indecent. He needs to leave before he does something _else_. Abruptly, he releases his grip, causing Tendou to jolt upright when he moves away. 

Tendou vaguely remembers being bewitched by dark olive eyes, before he’d lost track of what they had been discussing about in the first place. Something about ice cream, avoidance or Ushijima’s kissable mouth? 

“What the fuck?” he whispers to himself, feeling like he’s just woken up from an extremely strange dream. 

He’s tempted to slap himself on the cheek, or pinch his thigh to check that he’s still alive and isn’t dead somehow. He does both, and it hurts. He rubs his face with a grimace, turning to look for Ushijima. 

But the man is gone, after seemingly getting what he’s come over for: Tendou’s promise (to be a better best friend most likely, he’s not surprised if it was). 

Tendou slides down in his seat with an arm thrown over his eyes, his breath coming out shakily. 

_God, he’s going to be the death of me._

  
  
  
  


Okay, while Semi’s not the brightest person on the planet, he isn’t oblivious to the happenings around him, and he’s certainly no fool either. 

So when he’s at yet another practice session where Ushijima and Tendou can’t stop looking at each other all _weird_ , he has this sudden, very stunning epiphany that maybe Ushijima and Tendou aren’t _just_ best friends. 

The first thing he does is to stalk over to Oohira to grill him on this particular topic, who eyes him warily as if he’s a walking time bomb about to go off - he sometimes is, but that's not the point.

He gets straight to the point without beating around the bush. “I think Wakatoshi likes Satori. If not, it’s probably the other way around.” 

Oohira sighs at his revelation as he shoves a volleyball into Semi’s arms, motioning for him to toss him a set. “I’m surprised it took you this long to figure out.” Semi’s mouth drops open. “What, you mean you already knew? You knew and you didn’t bother to tell me?” 

Oohira gives him a dirty look, one that clearly states _Are you stupid?_ “It’s not up to me to tell you. If you notice it yourself then there’s nothing you can do but keep quiet until people are ready to talk.” 

And, fine, he does have a point, but _still_. 

Semi glances over to Tendou, who’s once again latched onto Ushijima’s side like a leech and is currently chattering to him like some overgrown chipmunk. 

He thinks about the couple of months that has passed since Ushijima started to be much more open about physical shows of affection with his friends, mostly directed towards Tendou. And then he thinks about how Tendou always seems so starry-eyed and distracted in Ushijima’s presence whenever he thinks that no one is looking at him during practice. 

Semi facepalms so hard he can feel a bruise forming. “Those idiots...” he mutters to himself. 

He notices Yamagata shaking his head at the pair from his left side, and Shirabu giving a look of disgust from where he’s seated on the bench, water bottle in hand. Now he’s confused. _Does everybody know?_

It seems like the only people who aren’t focused on their captain and their red-headed middle blocker is Goshiki and the other first years, and Semi briefly entertains the thought of calling his friends out later after practice has ended. 

He decides not to in the end, because A, that would be infinitely embarrassing for the two - Tendou would skin him alive after that - he’s not nosy enough (maybe) to butt into something he should have no say in, 

and B, it’s kind of cute seeing the two of them in their own little world and completely disregarding the curious looks around them. 

_It’s like they don’t even know they’re attracting attention._

Granted, that is probably the truth, since Ushijima isn’t the type of person who cares about what others think of him, and Tendou simply doesn’t pay enough attention to his surroundings sometimes. 

He leaves them alone for the time being, resolving to tease them only when or if they ultimately reveal whatever that’s going on between them - he’ll try. 

However, it proves extremely hard to hold his tongue when break time rolls around and he has to watch them be all over each other without gagging at the scene - well, more like watch Tendou be all over Ushijima while the man unabashedly accepts his advances. 

As he tips his head back to down the rest of his water, Semi spies Tendou sprawled out on the floor as he talks, and almost spits out his water when Ushijima pulls him forward so his head is resting on one thick thigh. 

From behind him, Shirabu gives a great snort and says, repulsed, “Gross.” 

  
  
  


Ushijima walks beside Tendou as they stroll down the streets of their hometown. They have a day off from gruelling practice for once, and Tendou has taken the opportunity to drag Ushijima with him to the bookstore that is just outside their massive school grounds. 

“I need to buy this newest issue of manga, Wakatoshi-kun! It's one of my favourites!” he’d said with a bright smile that Ushijima couldn’t possibly refuse. He doesn’t particularly mind though. He enjoys Tendou's company. 

Ushijima glances to his left side subtly, taking in Tendou’s gleaming eyes, his features relaxed and content for the first time in what feels like a while - he would know, as he’d seen Tendou mope around a fair number of times during the Interhigh Tournament period months ago. 

Yes, he likes - no, loves being beside Tendou, who accepts his stubborn silences and fills them in with his own steady stream of words, and who also happens to look exquisite in the light of the afternoon sun, he’s just realised. 

The orange and yellow rays complement his shock of red hair and similarly coloured eyes, bathing him in a swathe of summer hues - even though they’ve technically already welcomed autumn - that makes him hard to look away from in Ushijima’s biased opinion. 

The bright colours of their surroundings do little to blend Tendou into the background; it’s practically impossible for anyone to not notice him walking down the street with his untamed fiery locks sticking up and swaying in all directions. 

Tendou is pretty in a wacky and wild kind of way, from his mess of blood red hair blowing straight into his face every five minutes - which he brushes away every single time without fail - to his tall, lanky form that exudes an air of nonchalance and playfulness and makes Ushijima smile softly. 

If Tendou notices him staring, he doesn’t comment on it, and Ushijima is grateful that he gets to spend more time silently admiring his side profile. However, a flush does slowly rise on Tendou’s cheeks, though Ushijima’s not sure whether it’s because of him or the cold air around them. 

Tendou’s face lights up like a bulb when he spots what he’s gotten out of his warm and cozy room for on a Friday afternoon, and he makes a beeline for it after taking Ushijima’s hand in his and hauling him over. 

Ushijima keeps his eyes locked on their hands, which are pressed together tightly with no spaces left in between, a good sign in Ushijima’s eyes if you will. He thinks he’s closer to figuring out what he’s feeling for Tendou, and if the countless hours of research had revealed anything, it was that it was some form of love. 

He’s yet to figure out if it’s romantic love or platonic love, which is probably the hardest part about being with Tendou, since all his emotions feel jumbled up when they’re together. One moment, he’s chuckling at one of Tendou’s awful jokes, and another he’ll find himself wanting to squeeze him in a hug and never let go. 

Suffice to say, it’s been...a rough couple of weeks. Ushijima almost, _almost_ grunts out loud at the thought. 

The memory of himself stumbling upon _things_ while he was researching romantic relationships between men makes him wince internally; he doesn’t ever want to think about how horrifyingly transfixed he’d been. 

Ushijima also doesn’t think he’ll be able to forget any of the information his brain had tried to absorb while tumbling head over heels into a world so vastly _different_ from what he’s used to. He shudders slightly at the mental images in his head which, strangely enough, send a swell of heat rushing through him suddenly. 

The fact that Tendou’s back is facing him doesn’t help either, when he sees lean muscles shift underneath the thin linen of his shirt. 

_Oh, that is...not a good line of thought._

Ushijima lets Tendou pull him into the small shop, taking a moment to marvel at the sheer number of books lining the bookshelves inside. 

“What’d I tell you, it’s amazing, right?” Tendou nudges him in the side gently as he tugs on his hand to bring them to the manga section, his grin growing excited. 

Ushijima doesn’t respond, but he does grip on tighter to avoid accidentally letting go - there are quite a number of people in here, and he doesn’t want to release Tendou’s hand even to maneuver his bulk around the couple of people who are in the way. 

Tendou’s still looking ahead and slightly up, and he eventually comes to a stop in front of two bookshelves practically bursting with rows upon rows of manga volumes. There are a ton of them that Ushijima has yet to expose himself to, since Tendou is the only one he borrows books to read from, but he does recognise a few big titles that he’s already read before. 

Tendou doesn’t seem to realise that their hands are still securely in each others’ grips, so Ushijima takes advantage of his obliviousness and stays silent in hopes that he won’t notice until much, much later. 

He scans the row at his eye level, tracing familiar words with his eyes as he lazily tracks over the countless spines that adorn the shelves. 

The air is slightly warmer in the bookshop as compared to the outside, but Tendou’s hand is still as cold as ever, and Ushijima can feel the warmth of his body seep into Tendou’s palm. It’s a nice feeling, one that Ushijima stores away in the back of mind to be looked over and admired later when he returns to his room alone. 

Tendou’s small “Aha! I’ve found you!” pierces through his thoughts before they can turn into something much less innocent than just hand-holding, and he looks up briefly from the lower shelves to see what’s gotten Tendou sounding so elated. 

The sight that greets him is in itself an art piece, and his stomach does a little flip when he sees how Tendou is struggling to reach a book on the very top shelf. Tendou’s height is something the man himself hardly has to fret over, but that last few centimetres that will allow him to reach the book he’s eyeing is giving him a hard time. 

Ushijima watches in poorly concealed amusement as Tendou grits his teeth and stands on his tip toes, a desperate expression painted on his face. 

Ushijima finds it in himself to chuckle a bit, and he feels something mischievous coil in the pit of his abdomen as he continues to stand by and spectate. Surely, Tendou wouldn’t mind if he just...helps him a little, would he? 

Feeling confident, Ushijima frees his left hand and closes the distance between them with two long side-stepping strides. His calf muscles bunch up and contract as he stretches up as much as his legs will allow him. 

He’s grateful for the inch that he’s got on Tendou, since it would have been much harder to reach the top shelf were they both the same height. 

Tendou’s arm is still outstretched as his own hand closes around the spine of the book. Then, following right after, several things happen at once. 

Ushijima’s hard chest presses down onto Tendou’s back, which goes rigid and tense as soon as their bodies make contact. Sparks ignite at the base of Tendou’s spine. Tendou tries to turn, unsuccessfully, and ends up tripping over his own feet. 

He goes down with a dramatic yelp, and Ushijima’s free hand shoots out to snatch at his upper arm at the exact same moment that books tumble down from above them, dislodged from their place by the force of their movements. 

Tendou’s back slams into the bookshelf, drawing a gasp from his mouth when pain explodes in the small of his back. He closes his eyes and shields himself from the falling books with outstretched hands, and hears several thuds before it’s silent again. 

Tentatively, he lowers his arms, only for his heart to jump up into his throat when he realises why his head hasn’t been smashed in by the loosened projectiles. 

Ushijima’s face is positioned right above his, and they’re so close that he can make out the faint splash of dark green in Ushijima’s eyes. 

_Breathe-_ He starts thinking, but stops, mantra and all when he sees Ushijima’s lips curl up into a small smirk. 

Ushijima can’t help the little triumphant smile that spreads on his face as he watches Tendou’s mouth drop open in shock. 

A shade of pink so light that he would have missed it were they not this close to each other dusts pale cheeks, and Ushijima openly admires every single thing about him up close. 

From his wind-tousled hair to his blown pupils that are framed on top by eyebrows that are pulled so high they nearly disappear into his ungelled hair, Tendou looks like everything Ushijima would want in his life. 

His eyelids lower as he follows the spread of the pink flush on Tendou’s cheeks, which now covers the majority of his face including his ears and crawls down the sides of his neck into the collar of his shirt. Ushijima licks his lips. 

He distantly wonders what that same flush would look like blooming across Tendou’s chest and over the rest of his body. Ushijima wants to find out if it’ll look as magnificent as he imagines, and his hands itch to do just that. 

He exhales softly against Tendou’s lips, his heated gaze travelling back up to Tendou’s round eyes. 

The light that’s coming from above them and from the transparent windows of the shop not so far away make Tendou’s scarlet eyes sparkle, and Ushijima blinks to make sure he hadn’t imagined the flicker of want in them. He’ll have to check sometime in the near future whether or not his actions have affected Tendou’s feelings towards him. 

He hopes that they have.

Tendou is wildly, painfully beautiful, and he encompasses Ushijima’s hidden desires so accurately that he has to suck in a large breath to stop himself from blurting out the first thing that’s on his mind. 

_I love him._

The discomfort that stemmed from not knowing what the nature of his feelings are melts away, and Ushijima suddenly sees it in a much clearer light than before, what the muddled haze in his head means. 

_He looks-_

“Perfect.” Ushijima breathes out on a slow exhale. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, kudos and comments are always appreciated!! Let me know which parts are your favourites and if you have any constructive feedback, don't hesitate to drop them down below! 
> 
> Hit me up on Instagram @bts_ateez._.suju if you wanna get hyped(aka scream) about Haikyuu with me!!! I'm currently rewatching the whole thing with a friend because I managed to get her to start it :)) Oh, and! Happy Birthday to one of my precious babies: Suna Rintarou!! I love him so much akskodlwmals


	5. Two Idiots In Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to another chapter of SSaMB!!!! Thank you to everyone who read and left comments in the last four chapters, they were SUCH a great time to read, I even laughed at some of your exclamations knowing that y'all are just like me when I comment on other works that I read hahahah!! Anyway...today I have for you one of my favourite scenes of the whole of SSaMB, and surprisingly, it isn't because of our two oblivious bbies this time. No sir/ma'am. Enjoy this little gift from me!!!<3

Ushijima waits for the person on the other end of the receiver to pick up his call. The moment he hears the distinctive _click_ he launches into a speech of what must be the most words he’s spoken in a day to someone who isn't his best friend. “Oohira, I think I am interested in Tendou.” 

There’s a bout of momentarily stunned silence from Oohira’s end - Ushijima assumes; he knows he isn’t exactly the most expressive person to his few friends. Then, “In what way do you mean _interested?_ ” Ushijima pauses for a while, contemplating exactly how he wants to word his reply. 

“...In the romantic way.” he eventually says, and he thinks he hears a chuckle from Oohira. “Wakatoshi, I’m very proud of you.” Oohira’s voice is the littlest bit gleeful, and though Ushijima’s not really sure what he means by _proud_ , he has more pressing matters to figure out. 

“What am I supposed to do now?” is the one thing he’s been pondering about. 

Oohira gives another laugh. “Well, Wakatoshi, usually people will ask the other person out. But what _you_ want to do next is the real question here.” 

Ushijima frowns. Asking Tendou out would mean that they’ll be dating afterwards, in the case that Tendou accepts, of course - that reminds him that he has to find out whether or not his feelings are reciprocated. 

However, even though he knows he’s supposed to do exactly that before getting ahead of himself, the idea of being with Tendou as his lover is...tempting, he’ll admit. If dating means that he can invade Tendou’s personal space all day, every day, whenever he wants to, without looking suspicious, he might have to work hard to get Tendou to see him that way. 

The thoughts in his head are, for obvious reasons, not voiced out loud due to Oohira’s presence over the phone, so instead, he says, “I see. Thank you for the insight, Oohira. I appreciate it.” 

Oohira snorts and wishes him luck before hanging up. Ushijima doesn’t miss the faint “I told you so.” in the background as the receiver is put at a distance before the call goes dead. 

He decides that he won’t ask what Oohira had meant by that the next time he sees him; he doesn't think he wants to know. He stands and goes to place his cell phone on his desk, absentmindedly thinking back to the times that Tendou had outrightly announced that Ushijima was his favourite person to be around, mostly when they were alone. 

His blood heats up, and he feels warm inside suddenly. 

Solving a problem shouldn’t be so hard, especially because Ushijima has always approached challenges with a one-track mind and endless courage, usually ending up with satisfactory results, but when it comes to things such as his _feelings_ , it’s a different matter altogether. 

He’s never been good at expressing how he feels, and most of the time he comes off as rude or aloof to the people he doesn’t know, so he’s puzzled as to how he’s going to put his thoughts and emotions across to the person whom he knows has his heart. 

Tendou’s lazy smile and wild hand gestures come to his mind, and he feels a pleasant kind of heat spread throughout his body at the sight. Well, he’s probably going to be terrible at it on the first try, but he’ll do it, for Tendou. 

It is a...delicate procedure, he's read before, to confess.

Returning to his bed after he’s grabbed another sweater from his closet, he pulls it on when he’s settled back onto the soft covers, his mouth pinching in concentration. He reviews his situation internally, and tries to come up with suitable ways to cast a net out unhurriedly and hopefully end up with a desired answer in the future. 

It’s early evening, and he’s sitting on his bed in his room, with no Tendou in sight because he’s already seen him off at his door an hour ago, when they had returned from their _fruitful_ outing to the bookstore. 

Yes, _extremely_ fruitful. Ushijima is now aware of the kind of feelings he has for Tendou.

Tendou’s embarrassed face pops into his mind out of the blue, and a small smile spreads across his face as he thinks back to how he’d handled the almost-disaster in the afternoon. 

He’d been too distracted and in awe of Tendou, illuminated like some sort of brilliant star by the light, to realise that he’d let slip something he’d meant to keep to himself. 

Tendou’s expression was marred by confusion at the time, so he took the chance to clarify himself, playing it off smoothly with an added “I caught you.” Then he’d righted the both of them up and pretended to busy himself with picking up the fallen books on the floor while Tendou stared at him with wide, disbelieving eyes like Ushijima had just taken a bite out of his soul. 

He’d taken no notice of Tendou’s apparent astonishment, and ushered him back to the front of the store to pay for his book before leading him out the door. Then when they’d gotten back to school, Tendou had waved goodbye to him in a daze when Ushijima bid him goodnight at his door before leaving.

Which brings him back to his problem - what to do now? 

Ushijima glances at his desk, where his phone sits. And, really, what can he possibly do that will be better than searching up the internet... 

Ushijima heaves a soft sigh but relents, thinking that it couldn’t hurt to at least try. He’ll just have to avoid all those inappropriate websites that keep popping out of nowhere and have absolutely _no_ relation whatsoever to what he’s looking for. 

  
  
  
  


Ushijima regrets his decision the next morning. As a growing teenager himself, he’s bound to have impulses to _study_ up on human anatomy. If he comes across some things online that give him more information that he asks for, it’s completely normal to want to know more, isn’t it? 

Ushijima doesn’t necessarily regret reading through the thirty page document that he’d accidentally clicked on the previous night and now dubs as the _Handbook For When Same Sex Relationships Are Being Contemplated_. 

He’d learnt a lot more than he cared to admit or remember, but he’ll put the content aside for when he actually needs it - _if_ he needs it.

The downside of this whole research thing is that, one way or another, he ends up not getting very much sleep that night, and is even affected throughout the rest of the next day. 

As it is now, he’s in class and is supposed to pay attention to what his teacher is saying, because it’s important in ensuring his grades are decent enough to stay on the team. But the very act of concentrating on the whiteboard at the front is difficult when he can’t seem to stop the images in his head from distracting him. 

Behind the iron-clad mask of indifference on his face, Ushijima struggles to wrangle his thoughts back to less indecent territory, especially when most of them stem from the sudden deep rooted desire to be within a metre radius of Tendou. At least he can go back to subtle back touches and hand brushes when they’re physically together. 

As the only thing on his mind, Tendou is a force to be reckoned with even with his loud, rambunctious energy somewhere far away from him at the other end of the corridor. 

Ushijima briefly closes his eyes as a snapshot of Tendou, with his body bare of clothes and his face screwed up with pleasure, shoots through his mind with startling clarity. 

As much as he wants to, Ushijima hasn’t quite gotten the first step of confessing out of the way yet, so he’ll have to restrain himself with his well-trained self-control to avoid a mishap. 

He lets a fleeting image of Tendou underneath him, with his eyes glittering like rubies and his mouth voicing sweet words of seduction, float past without trying to force it into the back of his mind. Well, maybe once wouldn’t hurt. 

The sound of the school bell ringing has Ushijima springing out of his seat immediately, and his next-door seatmate stares at him with a cocked eyebrow. “Eager to go somewhere today, are we?” 

Ushijima almost doesn’t catch it, but when he does all he gives is a curt nod of his head before he grabs his wallet and is gone from the classroom, big, hulking body and all. He weaves his way through the crowd in the hallway as best as a volleyball giant can without bumping into others, and pretty much bursts through the door of the cafeteria. 

Other students who recognise him make way easily, and he’s given a clear pathway through the throng of people to the middle of the cafeteria, where he spots his friends already sitting at a table, trading jokes and jabs, if Tendou’s rowdy screeches and Semi’s indignant hissing are any indication. 

He heads straight for them after grabbing his lunch tray, too disconcerted to notice that there are items on it that he would normally refuse due to his strict athlete diet. 

As he sits down heavily in his chair, Tendou gives a blinding smile that he’s sure will leave scorch marks in his eyes. His heartbeat speeds up minutely as he attempts to smile back, and although Tendou bursts into giggles upon seeing his face, he finds that he doesn’t mind being laughed at, if it’s Tendou who’s laughing at him. 

Semi and Oohira exchange glances out of the corner of his eye, and Ushijima pretends not to notice the meaningful side eye that Oohira gives him. Instead, he focuses his attention on Tendou’s ramblings, which bring him immense joy if he’s being absolutely honest. 

It’s only when lunch is almost over does he realise that he’s not eaten a single thing from his tray and, unfortunately, so does Tendou. “Wakatoshi-kun, you know that you’re supposed to eat lunch during our lunch breaks, right?” Tendou looks amused.

Ushijima blinks down at his full tray, packed with the kind of food that he would usually avoid to keep up with his healthy diet, and frowns slightly. “I don’t recall getting this.” he declares, straight-faced, but his voice is laced with confusion. 

Tendou lets out a snort trying to cover up his chortle, but it doesn’t work very well, so he wheezes out another question before he can choke on his own saliva. “What have you been doing the whole lunch break to not even realise you took the wrong tray?” 

Ushijima will admit, he’d been far too busy trying to figure out how Tendou’s long, slim fingers would feel fisted in his shirt again like before to really take notice of himself. He answers only partially truthfully. “I was listening to you talk.” 

Tendou cocks his head in surprise, his red eyes flashing with curiosity and something akin to smugness soon after. “Oh?” he says, and his eyes slide over Ushijima’s face like he’s scanning for some sort of proof. 

Semi butts in before either of them can say anymore. “Sounds like someone has an admirer, Satori.” Semi’s stare is pointed when he fixes it onto Tendou, who drops his playful expression for something much less confident. 

Tendou jabs Semi in the side harshly as Ushijima looks between the two of them, puzzled. “I do admire Tendou.” he says kindly, because it’s true, he does. 

He admires how Tendou can carry an entire conversation by himself without lapsing into awkward silence with the person he’s talking to - more specifically, Ushijima, who hasn’t got an ounce of social skills to carry him through frivolous niceties. He also admires Tendou’s blocking technique, although that goes without saying since he’s probably the one who was the most impressed when he met Tendou at the volleyball team tryouts in their first year. 

He remembers Tendou’s fingers coming up to stop the momentum of his spikes again and again when they play against each other during practice matches, and the rush of thrill he gets when their eyes meet across the net, his narrowed with concentration and Tendou’s sparkling with pride. 

Semi and Oohira silently look at each other again, which Ushijima ignores in favour of staring at Tendou as he almost falls out of his chair laughing at Semi’s shell-shocked face. 

Before he can tip over in his seat, Ushijima catches his narrow wrist with a large hand and pulls him upright, pausing for a slight moment when he feels a burst of searing heat under his skin where they’re touching. 

Apparently, Tendou feels it too, because he shuts up and lets out a loud hiccup at the same instance that Ushijima jerks his hand away. Semi and Oohira’s heads snap to them at the sudden movement, confusion scribbled over their faces. 

“What’s wrong?” Semi eyes them like they’ve done something wrong, or rather, Tendou, who turns up his nose and scrunches his face at the disapproving gaze of his friend to cover up the fact that his neck has probably gone pink. 

Thankfully, before they can say anything else, the bell rings and signals the end of their lunch break. 

Tendou shoots out of his seat with a winning smile on his face, though it becomes a little wobbly at the edges when he catches Ushijima’s heavy stare on him once again. It’s become a thing, he notices - those hooded eyes that stick to his figure and follow him everywhere he goes, and it makes his spine tingle with forbidden want. 

Tendou tears his eyes away from Ushijima’s face and drops them down to his tray, which has yet to be touched. His smile grows on his face, this time more genuine. 

“Wakatoshi-kun, you're gonna be hungry later ya know? Coach won’t be happy if you collapse because of an empty stomach.” he teases, his limbs swinging around violently to make his point more prominent. 

Ushijima doesn’t reply immediately, but he does stand with his tray in his hands - probably to return it at the distribution stall since he hasn’t actually contaminated it yet. When he’s done he returns back to Tendou’s side, his expression almost reluctant as they come to a stop at the exit where they’re supposed to part. 

Semi and Oohira are nowhere to be seen, so that most likely means they’ve already made their way back to their class. Good, at least that leaves the two of them alone for another minute or so. 

Tendou is about to wave goodbye to Ushijima when his friend opens his mouth, his words stabbing straight into his chest with all the swiftness and deadliness of a warrior’s blade. “Seeing you talk makes me full.” 

Ushijima notes the halt in Tendou’s breathing, and squashes down a chuckle. Cheekily, he steps closer and brushes his hand along the top of Tendou’s tailbone, pushing him in the direction of his class. 

“I will see you later, Tendou.” he says quietly, before turning away and starting for his own class with a deceptively more light-hearted feeling in his chest. 

Maybe, just maybe, Tendou likes him too. 

  
  
  
  


“Alright, what’s going on with you and Wakatoshi? I’ve waited long enough so you’d better tell me everything.” 

Tendou grimaces at his luck - or lack thereof - when he realises that he’s been cornered, and in his own room no less. He should have known that something was up the moment Semi suggested that they walk back to the boys’ dormitory together. 

Semi hardly walks back with him, always preferring to stick with Oohira as they click better, not that Tendou has ever minded, because it gives him more time to spend with Ushijima. 

But his head had been in the clouds long before Semi sidled up to him and insisted they go together, so that particular fact had completely slipped his mind. Semi had barged into his room without so much of an _Excuse me_ and jerked him away from the door to start interrogating him. 

Tendou musters up his most innocent smile, but is shot down before he can even attempt to defend himself. “Don’t give me that bullshit! I know there’s something going on with the both of you! Spit it out, before I tell Wakatoshi about the pictures you have of him in your phone.” 

Tendou’s face whitens dramatically at Semi’s convincing threat, and Semi grins evilly at the thought that there’s finally something he can use against the hardly-fazed Tendou who likes to annoy his friends with his sharp, sarcastic tongue. 

“You wouldn’t...” Tendou eventually says, his face still pale and his hair drooping down from its gelled position. Semi’s shark-like smile stays on his face. “Oh, but I would, Satori. If it means that you two will finally stop your stupid lover’s spat, I would. You probably shouldn’t have left your locker open where anyone could walk past and see what you’d been smiling at like an idiot the whole time.” 

Tendou slumps onto his bed as he backs away from Semi, his body language spelling defeat. “It’s not a lover’s spat...” he mutters, but it lacks all the confidence that Semi is used to hearing from Tendou. Semi sits down next to him, patiently waiting. 

Not two minutes later, Tendou mumbles something into his pillow, but with his face smushed into the plush softness, all Semi can make out is a string of unintelligible phrases. “Satori, you’re going to have to repeat yourself.” 

Tendou’s face peeks out from between two pillows comically, and Semi suppresses a laugh at the look of pure exhaustion on his face. “Wakatoshi-kun’s been giving me so many mixed signals these few weeks that I feel like I might just die from a heart attack. I can feel my arteries clogging.” 

Semi erupts into snickers. Tendou’s eyebrows dip in what looks like annoyance. “Fine, laugh. But just so you know, Eita-kun, I’ll tell Kenjirou-kun that you’re jealous of him taking your place as starting setter.” 

Semi zips his mouth shut at the taunt, but the amusement in his eyes doesn’t fade even as he rebutts him. “Shirabu would never believe something like that from you.” 

Tendou groans and flops back down with his arms fanned out and his legs tangling into the sheets. “Shut up!” he complains crossly. 

Semi grabs onto one of his ankles and tickles the bottom of his sock-clad foot after yanking off his shoe and throwing it elsewhere. “Come on, there’s gotta be more that you’re not telling me here. I’m not leaving until you do.” 

Tendou shrugs off the hand on his foot weakly. “You’re a pain in the ass.” 

“I’m glad you think so. Now tell me.” 

Tendou groans again. “No.” 

Semi punches him in the gut lightly, earning a soft _ouch_ from Tendou. “Tell me.” 

“Fine! I like Wakatoshi-kun, okay?” he finally snaps, harsher than he’d wanted it to sound, and definitely a lot more bitter. _Okay, maybe not_ just _like..._ Semi blinks at him, not at all surprised. 

“Oh.” he manages to say before bursting into a fit again. 

Tendou stares at him in mild disbelief. Is Semi actually his friend? Since when do friends laugh at their other friends’ misery? 

He’s considering the consequences of throwing out said friend when Semi slaps a hand onto his thigh good-naturedly. “Are you planning to confess anytime soon?” he says in between chuckles, and Tendou has half a mind to seriously knock him over and escape from this torturous session of counselling. 

_Who’s he kidding, ‘course I’m not!_

He opens his mouth to retort back, only to get a faceful of pillow as Semi smacks him square in the head. “Hey!” he yells as he’s wrestled onto his back. 

Semi squats next to him with his legs poking into Tendou’s ribs painfully, and he lifts the pillow again to bring it down on Tendou’s chest, successfully thwarting his attempt to fight back. 

“You’re an idiot! Both of you are idiots!” he announces with finality, though Tendou isn’t really sure who the other idiot is supposed to be. 

He’s momentarily distracted by the insult, before he launches his counter attack by ducking out of the way of another pillow strike and coming up to press Semi down onto the mattress. He pins his smaller body in place using his long legs, cackling when Semi struggles to break out of his tight hold. 

He gives a proud leer, and is just about to give Semi a good elbowing in the side when he’s shoved away. He ends up on the other side of his bed, his hair dishevelled and his uniform wrinkled; even his tie is loose and askew. 

He’s barely given any time to recover as, within seconds, Semi is smothering his face with a pillow again and he has to fight tooth and nail with his whole body to avoid being flattened like a pancake against his will. 

By the time Semi decides to call it quits, they’re both panting hard and sprawled across the expanse of the room; Semi’s legs are propped on the edge of the bed and his back is on the ground, while Tendou is spread-eagled on the floor with an arm flung out to rest on Semi’s chest. 

Semi breathes out through his mouth, his tone both firm and gentle, “You know you mean a lot to Wakatoshi, right?” 

Tendou closes his eyes, too tired and brain-dead to argue. “...Yeah.” 

Semi sits up, and Tendou’s arm falls into his lap. “It’s not my place to tell you what to do, but for what it’s worth, I don’t think he’d stop being your friend because of something like this.” 

Tendou’s eyes remain closed, although there is moisture starting to build in the corners that he would rather keel over and play dead than admit. “Thanks, Eita-kun.” 

They lay there for a while, before Semi heaves a sigh that seems to ward off the seriousness of their previous conversation. “So...” he flips onto his stomach and pushes off Tendou’s arm in the process. 

Tendou’s eyes peek open the tiniest sliver to catch Semi’s playful grin. He groans at the implication of that unsettlingly interested look. “Wakatoshi’s been touchy these days.” 

“Don’t start. I will _pulverize_ you.” 

Semi scoffs at his humor-laced threat, not as all disturbed as he continues to pry. “And he only does it when you’re around~” he sings in an annoyingly high-pitched voice that Tendou didn’t know he could emit. 

His ears feel hot when he remembers the (disappointingly) fleeting touches and “accidental” brushes of hot skin against his own. 

“Oh, is it that spicy? Your ears are totally red, holy shit! Come on, tell me what Wakatoshi did!” 

Semi wheedles him for gossip information, while Tendou buries his head into his arms to block out the insistent need to dive into his bed and never come back out of his blankets again. He wants to sink into the ground and become one with the lovely wooden floorboards.

But his desire to disappear doesn’t stop the ghostly feeling of Ushijima’s fingers against his back from attacking his body though, and he exhales heavily to stop his body from shuddering at the pleasant sensations that are far too real even when Ushijima is nowhere near him. 

Maybe, just maybe, Ushijima might have realised Tendou’s feelings for him. Maybe that’s why he’s been getting such a kick out of flustering him time and again. 

_Jerk._ The thought is lightly coated with a layer of hurt, even though he knows Ushijima isn’t that kind of person.

As Tendou is barraged by an unstoppable force known as Semi Eita, his friend and nosy gossiper extraordinaire, Ushijima stands outside Tendou’s room silently, listening to their hushed voices, a book he had wanted to return in his hand. 

He smiles, sincere and small but still a smile nonetheless. He has his answer. 

  
  
  
  


“So, I’m thinking, a third-years only gathering, then we can ditch them and make them do their own thing after that.” 

“No.” 

“Aw, come on! Why not? It’ll be fun!” 

“You just want to do this because you’re trying to set up Wakatoshi and Satori.” 

Semi stutters, caught. “T-That’s not true...” 

It’s not very convincing. Oohira knows this, and plans to shut down whatever other terrible ideas that Semi will inevitably come up with. 

For all his bravado and seriousness on the court, Semi’s about as mature as a ten-year old when it comes to butting into his friends’ private lives, especially those who seem like they would rather keep their romantic relationships under wraps. Like Tendou. 

Once he gets a hold of blackmail material good enough to bug others about, he’ll stick to it and see his prying through, because he’s an insufferable little shit sometimes. Oohira knows this better than most people. 

Still, Semi doesn’t give up on his meddling. 

When they’re changing in the locker room and the team’s chatter is loud enough to cover up their voices, Semi whispers to him, “How about we lock them inside the equipment room for a whole night? Do you think that’ll work?” 

Oohira sighs, exasperated, and refuses. 

This continues for approximately three days, and by the end of those three days, he’s utterly exhausted from keeping up with his chaos-mediator duties, and is tempted to just agree to whatever Semi next suggests. 

So far, he’s already had to stop his hot-headed friend from hatching a kidnapping scheme to rile up Ushijima’s supposedly protective instincts, _“Let’s see if Wakatoshi turns into a mindless beast when someone nabs the love of his life! I bet you he’ll be even more pissy if we leave a ransom note, he seems like the kind!”_

_“No!”_

thwart his ridiculous plan to set up a secret date for Tendou and Ushijima in some random restaurant outside their school, 

_“Hey, I found this really cool place not too far away from here, I’ll go and book a spot for Wakatoshi and Satori! Reon, I need you to help me lure them there under the guise of a friendly team dinner.”_

_“Absolutely not.”_

and worse still, shut him up before he spilled Tendou’s secret in front of the entire team while they were all in the gym, underclassmen and coaches be damned, 

_“I don’t care! I’m going to tell him! Waka-umph!”_

_“Sorry everyone, Eita’s feeling a little under the weather today. Don’t mind him!”_

Over the course of three days, Oohira’s dragged Semi out of a bush to cut off his stalkerish behaviour, apologised to countless unsuspecting people for Semi’s out-of-context probing, and even been harassed by a concerned Shirabu who tries not to let his blatant worry poke through his permanent scowl. 

He’s been wound up tight from the stress of making Semi keep a secret - that man _cannot_ keep a secret to save his life - and eventually wrung dry by Semi’s constant ridiculous attempts to matchmake their friends together. 

So the next time Semi bounds up to him in high spirits, this time with an eerily smug look on his face, he braces himself for yet another round of gremlin-wrangling, because, in all honesty, Semi does seem like one of those impish creatures when he’s in his nosy, mother-hen, _I-need-to-see-my-friends-happy_ mood. 

Unfortunately, he’s been in this mood for far too long to be considered non-hazardous to Oohira’s health - both mental and physical. 

“Okay, you’re going to love this. We’ll play a game of spin the bottle, and I’ll make them play truth or dare or ask them a bunch of questions-” 

Oohira already feels a headache forming in between his temples. “That is a bad-” 

“Just hear me out, okay! I promise I won’t ask them directly! I’ll just hint at it, maybe throw in some other fun stuff to do like the Pepero Game! If they come close enough to kissing, I can bet that Satori will break first!” 

Oohira pauses to think about it - holy hell, he must be delirious if he’s actually considering this - and finds very little that he can nitpick about in this seemingly fool-proof conspiracy. 

While he does want to see Ushijima and Tendou happy - he’ll admit that seeing the two of them pining for each other so deeply from afar actually hurts - he’s loath to stick his nose into business that he’s not supposed to interfere with. 

But the idea is decent enough, and although it will require careful plotting and zip-tight lips, it’s not exactly a bad thing to want to give his good friends a little push in the right direction, right? 

His mind goes back and forth between his two choices several times, and he dimly acknowledges the fact that Semi is waiting for his reply with this all-knowing smirk on his face like he knows he’s gotten Oohira beat. 

Well, okay, he kind of does if Oohira can’t find any reason to reject any one of his ideas. 

Too late, he realises, that he probably shouldn’t have told Semi, of all people, that he’d guessed the tension between Tendou and Ushijima for what it was correctly. 

There’s really no one to blame but himself for being careless and forgetting how big of a busybody Semi can be. 

He guesses that this is his punishment for that, and the pounding in his head grows slightly worse as he envisions the coming days, no, weeks that will surely bring about a shitload more mayhem than he wants to deal with - it might even be months, if he’s unlucky enough. 

Eventually, Oohira sighs, shaking off the feeling that there’s more to Semi’s detailed ploy than just a harmless game. “What do you have in mind?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, kudos and comments are appreciated very much, thank you. I love reading your opinions and thoughts about the parts that stuck out to you or that you guys could relate to. Don't hesitate to let me know which lines made you feel some type of way;)) 
> 
> Come scream about our Haikyuu lovelies with me on my instagram, I make sure to post pictures of them on their birthdays hahaha, so go ahead and tap in bts_ateez._.suju whenever you feel like seeing some of those amazing pics that I reposted hehe


	6. Seven Minutes In Oblivion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayee here I am with another chapter. Whew! We're more than halfway through omg, I can't believe this. It makes me so glad when you guys tell me how much you look forward to my updates. This is my first work on ao3, so I wasn't sure what to expect. 
> 
> For this chapter, ohoho, Semi's plan has been revealed!! I give credits to my cousin for helping me with the idea, was a good one:) Thank you so much for reading and enjoy!!<3

Phase one of the _Get-My-Idiot-Friends-to-Admit-They’re-In-Love-with-Each-Other_ plan, in Semi’s opinion, is not going as splendidly well as he thought it would. 

The main problem being that Tendou, that cowardly bastard, keeps refusing Semi’s invitation to the private gathering the third years - well, mostly Semi, Oohira and Yamagata - are going to host for the entire team. Or, well, those who would and could show up for it. 

Even after he’d gotten Oohira’s permission to carry out his master plan, the actual plotting and preparing had taken much more than just a few weeks to complete. Adding on the stress and excitement of the Spring Tournament preliminaries, Semi had his hands tied when it came to finding the time to set his plan in motion, so it had dragged on for a bit (like, for months, as it’s near the end of the year now).

After they’d lost to Karasuno in the finals in October, the team had been dispirited for a while, and Semi had then gotten the best idea to use the remaining time they had left of their last year in Shiratorizawa Academy to throw a farewell party.

What could go wrong?

Semi swings a hard stare onto his friend, who pointedly ignores his piercing gaze and skips up to Ushijima, who’s sitting at Oohira’s desk, with his homework in his hands. “Wakatoshi-kun! Help me with my math again, please?” 

Tendou pokes Ushijima in the shoulder as he leans over him to peek at Ushijima’s work. Ushijima turns around at the sound of his chipper voice, and smiles in slight amusement when he sees the half-desperate look in his eyes. “Of course. Which one is it?” 

Semi gags as silently as he can, but Oohira still manages to hear him. He rolls his eyes good-naturedly when he follows Semi’s gaze to the pair that are otherwise in their own little world. “Why do you bother looking when you know what you’re going to see?” 

Semi’s face contorts into something strange and he completely bypasses Oohira’s question when he answers. “Ugh, they’re so _sweet_ that it makes me want to puke.” 

Yamagata, who is seated across him on the floor of Semi and Oohira’s shared room, stifles a laugh when he too whips his head around in curiosity, only to be met with the bizarrely domestic scene. 

Tendou has his arms draped around Ushijima’s shoulders and hooked around his neck from behind, his limbs coiled tight like he doesn’t want to let go. Ushijima lets him, as he normally does, but one of his hands goes up to grip onto Tendou’s forearm as he’s explaining, his eyes impossibly soft as he looks up to make sure Tendou is listening to him and not daydreaming by himself. 

“Well would you look at that? Maybe they finally resolved whatever thing they had going on between them for the past half a year?” Yamagata goes back to his biology worksheet once he’s confirmed the reason for Semi’s agitation. 

Semi retorts in response to his assumption. “Like hell they have. They’re just dancing along the borders of said _thing_ they have between them. You’d think that they’ve done something about it by now, but _no_.” he huffs before continuing in a softer voice - no less grossed out, though - so that Ushijima and Tendou can’t hear him. “Not if I have anything to say about it.” 

Oohira sighs for the fifth time since they’ve let Tendou, Ushijima and Yamagata into he and Semi’s shared room in the morning. “Remember-” 

“Yes, yes, I know. No tricks, no exposing Satori’s fake ass and no riling up Shirabu.” Semi interrupts him before he can speak, already tired of the number of times he’s had to reassure Oohira that he won’t mess this whole thing up and have it blow up in their faces at the end.

He isn’t wrong to worry though...

Oohira gives him an unimpressed look that Semi just knows says _I don’t believe you, but you’d better behave or I’ll tell Shirabu about your crush on him._

Now _that_ kind of information, especially from the reliable and trustworthy Oohira that even Shirabu tries hard not to be rude to, is one that Semi has no doubt will get him into the worst crisis of his young life. 

Tendou’s threat from the time Semi had forced his feelings out of him had been much less dreadful than what Oohira had magically plucked from his brain and used against him - okay, fine, he’ll admit that he’s always been a tad bit obvious about it when they’re in their room together - but having Oohira actually say it out loud had been like a punch to the gut. 

He purses his lips and resumes watching the pair some metres away from him. He narrows his eyes when he realises that they’re whispering to each other in hushed tones. 

_Fucking oblivious dumbassses who refuse to date already._

When their group study session is over, Semi bounds over to Ushijima and Tendou and grabs ahold of the redhead’s arm. “Sorry Wakatoshi, but I need to borrow Satori for a bit. You don’t mind, do you?” 

Ushijima stares at Semi’s hand, and says, “Not at all.” while looking like he very much minds the fact that Tendou is being separated from him. Semi catches the barely-there longing in his eyes when he turns to yank Tendou away. 

He nearly explodes on the spot, and instead clamps his mouth shut when he feels the telltale itch in the back of his throat. Oohira helps by distracting Ushijima from them as Semi pulls Tendou into the hallway just outside his room. 

“Semi Semi, I didn’t know you wanted my company so badly.” Tendou starts teasing just as Semi grabs onto his shoulders and shakes violently once. Tendou struggles in his grip for a bit, feeling a bit bewildered by Semi’s behaviour. “What the heck are you-” 

“Are you coming or not?” Semi cuts in before Tendou can finish his sentence. He doesn’t even bother correcting Tendou’s choice of his nickname. Tendou gives him an exasperated look. “How many times must I tell you that I’m _not_ going to whatever party you and Reon-kun are holding!” 

Semi groans. “Come on, you wimp! It’s going to be our last team gathering. Team! You’re not gonna be with those sorry excuse of your classmates, for god’s sake, and we’re graduating soon so you might as well have some fun while you’re at it!” 

Tendou shakes his head firmly, his expression making it clear that nothing Semi says or does will change his mind. 

_Or is there…_

The gears in Semi’s head turn at lightning fast speed as he tries to think of a reason that Tendou would go, and his face lights up in glee when he finds the perfect thing to say. “Even if Wakatoshi’s gonna be there?” he purrs, smirking now. 

Tendou stiffens for a split second, but it’s enough for Semi to see the crack in his resolve. Love would do that to someone. 

Semi reckons that if Tendou and Ushijima were in a relationship, a mere mention of Ushijima’s name would probably be all it takes to crumble Tendou’s defenses, since he wouldn’t have a reason to hide anymore. They were formidable, his defenses - even impenetrable when it came to most things - but clearly, Ushijima was not one of those things. 

Semi almost feels bad for him. Not quite enough to spare his friend from his meddling, though. 

He’ll see the two of them together by the end of their school year, or so help him, he’s going to throw himself off the roof of their dorm building from the sheer frustration of seeing them in limbo between being friends and lovers. 

With his mind set, Semi pushes again. “He doesn’t really go to parties, but since it’s a team thing and it’s probably the last time we’ll celebrate together like that, as captain he’s got to be there, y’know?” 

Tendou’s eyes waver just a tiny bit more as he thinks over Semi’s words. “Wakatoshi-kun accepted your invitation?” 

_Just a little more…_

“Yeah, obviously. And, who knows? Maybe he only accepted because I told him you were going too?” Semi raises his eyebrows suggestively, his teeth glistening as the harsh white lights above shine down upon them. It works. 

Tendou heaves a sigh, but agrees. “Fine, I’ll go.” Semi cheers quietly to himself. “ _But_ , only because I want to make sure you don’t blab to Wakatoshi-kun about me when you get smashed on the coke there.” 

Semi snorts, his hands leaving Tendou’s shoulders to rest on his chest in a crossed position instead. “Who do you think I am? I know how to keep a secret. The question is, can you?” 

Tendou startles at the unexpected question, and he glances around furtively before hissing. “What does that mean?” Semi shrugs. “I don’t know. Keep hanging off of Wakatoshi like that and he’s going to know sooner or later. Even Reon thinks it’s obvious from the way you two act around each other.” 

Tendou’s pale skin goes even whiter. Shocked, he brings a hand up and stares at his palm unseeingly. “Even Reon-kun?” Semi nods, and grins when he sees the tips of Tendou’s ears turn pink. “Huh, didn’t know you could blush like that.” 

“Shut up!” Tendou hisses again, his voice slightly louder this time. This time it’s his cheeks that turn rosy, though not as dark as his hair, which falls over his eyes again as he whips his head from side to side to check if anyone is eavesdropping on them. 

Semi laughs at his panicked and embarrassed expression. He dodges a smack and returns it with one of his own, which earns a pained yelp from Tendou that he proudly pats himself on the back for. 

_Serves him right for being such a pain in the ass. I can’t believe I have to hook them up together._

A sudden idea comes to him soon after, and as he sidesteps another punch to the shoulder, he plays around with it for a while before deciding that he wants to try it. “Satori! Hey! Stop it!” 

He grabs Tendou’s flying fist before it can collide with his upper arm, and twists his wrist hard until he hears a grunt of pain. “What now?” Tendou snaps, although his face betrays the tone of his voice by plastering on a small smile. 

“Want me to do your makeup?” Semi croons at him, all smug and annoying. 

Tendou’s expression turns horrified, and he shudders at the thought of being at the mercy of Semi’s eyebrow liner - the man can really be scary sometimes. 

“ _No!_ ” he exclaims, much to Semi’s amusement. Semi ignores him and goes on to say, “Great! I’ll make sure you look _extra_ charming next Friday. You don’t have to worry about a thing.” 

The pleased look on Semi’s face does nothing to reassure Tendou that he’s not being dragged into some sort of hellhole on earth, and he briefly wonders - he knows it’s probably useless to think about it now, but he can’t help it - if he has made a terrible mistake agreeing to Semi’s idea of fun. 

He just knows it will be something completely out of the ordinary, as Semi likes to go over the top for things such as these, not to mention the fact that it’s likely going to be an even grander affair because it’s going to be their last time together as an official team.

Tendou guesses that it was Oohira who gave Semi hints about his feelings for Ushijima, or at least, gave him the thumbs up when Semi became suspicious about his and Ushijima’s relationship.

_If this turns out lame, Reon's so going to eat my fist._

  
  
  
  


Tendou fidgets with his clothes nervously as he and Semi walk towards the venue that their team’s farewell party is going to be held at - the nice house down the road that also happens to belong to Semi’s aunt, and is apparently empty for the remainder of the year since she’s on vacation. 

“Stop that! You look nice, okay?” 

“Define _nice_ , Eita-kun.” Tendou snaps back just as frustratedly. He can’t help but feel self-conscious about what he’s wearing - it’s certainly not something that he would pick out for himself - and it only reminds him of the terrible childhood he’s experienced when he glances into the window of a car as he’s walking and sees his own reflection. 

Semi had said that the black eyeliner he’d given him was sure to make his eyes stand out:

_“Red goes best with black in this kind of weather! Here, I’ll even smudge it a little for you.”_

Tendou wasn’t really sure what he’d meant by that. Semi was the makeup artist, not him, but he sure as hell wasn’t expecting to- to look like _this_! 

Tendou’s large eyes are now lined with black, the thick, smoky kind that’s supposed to make someone look sexy. It doesn’t, in his opinion, but it is a stark contrast to his pale, ivory skin, and makes his dark red eyes pop much more than he’d thought possible. 

Great, now he can’t stop thinking about that one anime character whose eyes constantly bulge out of their skull like some monster. 

Tendou stares at his reflective phone screen again, almost tripping over the curb as they turn and make a stop at a traffic junction. A hand grips onto his arm tightly to prevent him from landing on his face. 

“Watch it! You’ll ruin my hard work if you go face-planting on the ground right when we’re reaching the place!” Semi points out grumpily as he pulls on Tendou’s flailing limb. 

“Well, ex _cuse me_ , Eita-kun, but I’m trying to see if you really meant what you said when you told me I looked ‘just fine’.” 

Semi glares at him fiercely, offended by the statement, and Tendou backtracks quickly to spare himself from a lecture on how he should be more grateful that Semi even bothered to do his makeup for him. 

Well, if you count only doing his eyeliner and picking out an outfit for him to wear as makeup. Either way, Tendou doesn’t believe the fact that he doesn’t look even more freaky than he already is. 

The thin silk top that flows around his lean torso flaps in the wind, and his legs feel too stiff in the skinny denim jeans that Semi had forced him into. To make things worse, these had small rips in them. 

Tendou tugs his coat around his body tighter. November has really gotten colder these past few years. “I just- I don’t think-” he stumbles over his words, not sure how to make his thoughts clearer than they already are. 

Semi’s hard look softens considerably when he sees how dejected Tendou’s starting to look. He nudges his friend in the shoulder. “Hey, hey! Satori,” Tendou turns a mournful look on him that makes him want to laugh. “-you look _good_ , okay? More than good. Wakatoshi won’t know what hit him.” 

Tendou lets out a shaky breath at his joking but effective reassurance, more anxious than he’d thought he was. “I’ll hold you to that, Eita-kun.” 

Semi smiles at him and spins back towards the road, where the red light switches to green. “Come on, let’s go in, we’ll be late if we don’t hurry up. Shirabu will throw a hissy fit if his senpais aren’t here for their own farewell party. And Tsutomu will probably be worried.” 

“You mean Kenjirou’ll be pissed if _you’re_ late.” 

“Shut your mouth.” 

  
  
  
  


Ushijima leans against the counter in the corner of the living room, glancing around every few minutes slightly impatiently. Oohira spots him skulking around in the dimly-lit area and waves him over to where he is, seated by one of the couches near the front genkan. 

Ushijima obliges and walks over, maneuvering between gaggles of juniors that aren’t yet on the starting team and avoiding the rowdy groups of people gathered around randomly spinning bottles. 

He doesn’t stop looking around, though, and it’s obvious that he’s waiting for someone from the way his eyes keep sliding to the front door of the house. 

Oohira claps a hand onto his shoulder as he sits down next to him and joins the small circle. Goshiki gives him a hesitant smile as a greeting, while Yamagata and Shirabu ignore him after short nods in his direction in favour of continuing their debate over yet another topic stupid enough that even Oohira isn’t participating. 

If Semi were here, he would have jumped straight at the chance to one-up the younger setter and libero together, and probably would have failed miserably. 

“Looking for someone, Wakatoshi?” Oohira gives him a meaningful look, but Ushijima just nods. Oohira shakes his head fondly at the lack of a straight answer, and gives up on trying to make Ushijima spill the beans. 

His lips have been sealed tight ever since he called Oohira that night months ago to tell him that he had a crush on Tendou. 

_Where did that troublemaker go?_ He turns his thoughts back to Semi instead, knowing that he had made plans to meet up with Tendou and had told Oohira to leave them alone an hour before the party started. 

He’d met Ushijima on the way here, and they’d both arrived together, much to the delight of their juniors. _He’d better not have-_

A shrill ring echoes throughout the room and, for a second, all talk ceases and then starts up again when Oohira stands up and makes a move to unlock the door. 

The chattering resumes just as Ushijima decides that he can’t sit still any longer and has to get up again. He’s itching for the moment when Tendou arrives, because he’s not seen him since they’d parted for their respective classes during lunch today. He misses him terribly. 

His heart squeezes when he hears cheers erupt from the front of the house, where the newcomers are being welcomed in with several shouts of “Tendou-senpai’s finally here!” and “Semi-san, come on in!” 

Ushijima feels his pulse speed up when Tendou’s answering yells split the monotonous background noise, and he finds himself holding his breath as he hears the familiar footfalls of Tendou’s springy gait draw closer. 

Anytime now, he’ll round the corner and- 

All the breath whooshes out of Ushijima at once when Tendou finally emerges from the hallway and steps into the crowded living room amid hoots and whistles. “Woah! Tendou-senpai, you look so cool!”

Feeling winded, Ushijima can only stare dumbly at the attractive entity that is Tendou, who’s clad in a silk v-neck that dips low - too low - on his chest. His eyes travel downward some more and he blinks in shock when he sees how form-fitting the jeans on Tendou’s long legs are. 

And - Ushijima has to blink again to make sure he’s not hallucinating - are those - rips? In Tendou’s jeans? When he squints, he can see little patches of skin when Tendou so much as shifts his stance. It kind of makes Ushijima want to worship his legs. 

Tendou spots him at the exact same time that Ushijima brings his gaze back up to his face, which glows exceptionally brightly under the pastel-coloured fluorescent lights in the house. His breath catches in his throat when he sees the bashful look on Tendou’s face, and he feels like he’s floating off the ground as he walks over to his best friend with a mildly dazed expression. 

“Wakatoshi-kun? Hello? Are you in there? Is my outfit that distracting?” Tendou’s voice snaps him out of his thoughts spectacularly well, and he swallows down the _You look good enough to eat_ that he’d been about to blurt out. 

Instead, he settles for a compliment, because _god_ does Tendou deserve one for serving looks like _that_ at their team’s farewell party. Ushijima would stare all day and night if it meant he could get a close-up of Tendou’s alluring face. _Is that- eyeliner?_

“Why, do I look that strange, Wakatoshi-kun?” Tendou teases, but there is a flicker of uncertainty there in his eyes that Ushijima rushes to extinguish. _He shouldn’t doubt himself._

“No, you look-” Tendou watches him with expectant eyes, his gaze soft and open and maybe just the tiniest bit vulnerable. Ushijima’s brain kind of stops working for a moment as he entertains the thought that Tendou might be waiting for his approval. He needs- 

_Something that describes Tendou…_

Only one word comes to mind. “-mesmerizing.” he finishes on an exhale that’s a little too breathy to be counted as composed. Well, that doesn’t matter, because he has the excuse of being on the verge of having a mental breakdown. 

Tendou bites back a smile, although he does look genuinely surprised by the sincerity of Ushijima’s compliment. 

At that moment, Semi walks up from behind Tendou, his expression smug and pleased as he catches sight of the look of dumbfounded appreciation on Ushijima’s normally expressionless face. 

Oohira comes up from behind Ushijima not a second later, and whistles in amazement when he sees how much effort Semi’s put into ensuring that Tendou looks good but not over the top. 

Even some of the second and first years surrounding them are staring at Tendou in awe, like he’s some fictional action figure that’s just stepped into their lives to create some fun. 

In all honesty, Tendou kind of does look like a manga character with the way his usually intimidating dark red eyes pop against his white skin like some kind of fascinatingly creepy villain. 

_A vampire._ Oohira thinks, but keeps to himself. He’ll let Semi know what he thinks later. Now, he needs to distract Ushijima before the former burns holes into Tendou with his intensely piercing gaze. 

He taps Ushijima on the shoulder, effectively breaking through the growing tension between the two as he passes him a cup of fruit punch that he’d swiped from the kitchen. 

”See, what’d I tell you? He’s totally into you, like one hundred percent smitten.” Tendou tilts his head slightly when he hears the whisper in his ears, and blushes up to his neck when he realises that Semi might be right. Judging from the way Ushijima can’t stop staring at him, anyway.

“I don’t know...” he mumbles back, earning a groan and a harsh yank on the arm towards his left. “Whatever, I’m not going to sit around and watch you guys beat about the bush anymore.” 

“What? What does that even mean?” 

Tendou struggles to get his forearm out of Semi’s suddenly tight grip. _Damn it! Curse this stupidly weak body of mine!_

With a loud “Oof!” he’s pushed down onto the floor among a very familiar group of people, and as Semi plops down next to him, Tendou notices that Ushijima has been seated right across him in the small circle of their friends and teammates alike. 

Yamagata is to his right, and he sees that Goshiki, Oohira and Shirabu are in the circle too. Kawanishi is somehow sitting next to Shirabu too, and that makes Tendou nervous because the grumpy second-year never participates in things that aren’t completely reckless and unpredictable, at least for his own personal amusement. Volleyball is a separate matter. 

Tendou sends a questioning look to Oohira, who seems to be the most reliable person as of now. Ushijima is out because he probably doesn’t know what’s going on either, and is probably just as confused or puzzled as Tendou is apprehensive. 

Oohira shrugs, which is odd because he doesn’t usually get himself involved in things that are likely to be categorized under the ‘Shiratorizawa volleyball club shenanigans’ section. 

Tendou startles when Semi suddenly announces in a gleeful voice. “Alright, we’re going to be playing Spin the Bottle. No backing out of the penalties once we’ve started, got it?” 

Tendou’s eyes round in disbelief and he tries to swat at Semi’s head to tell him to stop at the same time that Semi reaches forward and spins the bottle that had appeared out of nowhere in the middle of their circle. 

_No way am I staying to play this._ Tendou thinks as he tries to get up, only to get pulled back down by Semi and Yamagata on both sides until he has no choice but to sink back down to the floor in blatant defeat. 

Ushijima blinks at him from the other side, his dark eyes curious and wary and a little bit concerned, and Tendou gives him a watery smile when he sees him watching. 

With dread seeping into his stomach like an icy tendril of fear, Tendou watches. His breath holds in suspense as the bottle in front of him continues to spin. When it lands on Kawanishi, whose mouth flattens into an even thinner line at the thought of being the first victim, Tendou heaves a small, inaudible sigh of relief. 

He wouldn’t have known what to do if he had been the first to be on the receiving end of Semi’s merciless punishments. So he watches in false interest when Semi orders Kawanishi to give Shirabu a peck on the cheek, to which the latter responds with an almighty squawk of protest and a death glare towards Semi. 

Tendou huffs out a small laugh, content to be sitting on the sidelines and watching his teammates and friends duke it out with one another across the ring. As long as he’s not the center of attention… 

Tendou shudders at the thought, and hopes that he’ll be able to survive this dangerous game, at least until Semi becomes too high on his coke to concentrate on torturing him. 

Unfortunately, his prayers aren’t answered, because five rounds in - which also means five times of Tendou guffawing to himself as he witnesses the plight his friends are in - and unluckiness strikes him square in the face with the rounded end of the empty sprite bottle. 

He sees the cheeky gleam in Semi’s eyes long before Semi opens his mouth, but he’s still a moment too late when it comes to escaping from the clutches of Yamagata and Semi’s iron grips on his shoulders. “Satori! Yes! It was about time, don’t you think?” 

Tendou makes a desperate noise and whips his head from side to side with a slightly pleading look on his face - he has a bad feeling about the smirk on Semi’s stupid face. Goshiki avoids his eyes when he swings his head towards the younger. 

_The betrayal!_

“Tsutomu, tell them they can’t do this to me! Ya gotta help out your favourite senpai!” he tries, but Goshiki cowers behind Oohira, who grins at him with this shit-eating smile that most definitely spells trouble. 

_I knew it!_ Tendou thinks. 

“Now, now. How about we just take this as Tsutomu’s revenge for that one time you picked on him when we were playing Would You Rather in the clubroom? Sounds good?” 

Tendou has never wanted to rip his friend a new one so badly before, and he makes it known when he narrows his eyes threateningly at him as he fights against the hold on both his shoulders. 

It’s a useless effort, though, and he knows it, but that doesn’t stop him from trying. Knowing Semi and his habit of being nosy, he’s probably going to- 

Semi claps his free hand to his opposite bicep, the loud resounding smack drawing the groups’ attention back to him instead of the weakly thrashing Tendou beside him. Semi points to a door not far from where they’re seated, situated under a flight of stairs and partially camouflaged by the wallpaper that seems to blend the brown of the door into the wall. 

“See that? That's one of the closets in this house. You’re going to go in there with a volunteer from this group and carry out the penalty of Seven Minutes In Heaven,” Tendou’s face turns red with mild panic when he realises what Semi is trying to do. “Oh hell n-” 

Semi interrupts him quickly. “Either that, or you spill your biggest secret here, to all of us.” Semi _knows_ that there’s no way he would actually admit that he likes Ushijima, especially not in front of the man himself. 

Tendou scowls unpleasantly at Semi’s irritating grin, and he glances around to find Ushijima. He’s his last resort now, even if Semi really is attempting to match the both of them up. Tendou opens his mouth to plead with Ushijima; kind, blunt Ushijima who has never made him do what he didn’t want to in all his three years of befriending him. 

However, his hopes are crushed when Ushijima, with frightening conviction in his voice, uncrosses his folded legs and makes a move to stand up. 

“I’ll go with Tendou.” his deep voice reverberates throughout Tendou’s mind like a red flag being waved at him. His eyes are partially shielded by the shadows cast over his face, but Tendou doesn’t miss the indiscernible emotion behind his serious stare that he’s been wary of for the past half a year. 

He feels like he might boil over into a nasty case of hysterics if Ushijima continues to look at him like he’s a piece of meat that he wants to devour, like he’s another one of his opponents across the net that he wants to crush and grind into the dirt. 

_Is it weird that I like that?_

Shirabu gapes up at Ushijima with unconcealed astonishment, and Goshiki’s eyes are wide and confused and comically scared at the same time. 

“W-What?” Tendou barely manages to speak. He thinks he feels a little faint.

Semi helps him. “Wakatoshi, you sure? You know what it means to go in there with him, right?” 

If he had been expecting denial or at least a much warranted look of confusion, Semi must have been disappointed, because Ushijima’s firm “Yes, I am aware.” makes a smile spread on Semi’s face. 

Without really registering what on earth is going on, Tendou is hauled up from his seat by both Yamagata and Semi, and pushed into the darkness of the closet right after Ushijima. “Hold on-” 

“Bye Satori! Have fun!” 

“Don’t get too carried away!” Yamagata howls in laughter. 

“We’ll be back in seven minutes!” 

Semi grins at him before slamming the door close with a parting wink directed at Ushijima, effectively cutting off the cat calls and cheers from outside and also Tendou’s path to safety.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As alwaysss, kudos and comments are appreciated by yours truly, so do let me know which parts you like and what kind of things you hope to see in the later chapters!! I'll give you guys a hint, it's probably going to be spicier than you think👀👀
> 
> Come fangirl about Haikyuu!! with me on my Instagram @bts_ateez._.suju if you want to!! See you in the next chapter!!


	7. From Hell To Heaven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me, for I have sinned. 🙏
> 
> Uh, I have no idea what to say for this chapter except for the fact that it's significantly longer than my other current chapters. And that it's probably one of the chapters that some of you have been looking forward to the most HAHA!! 
> 
> Well, surprise! Here goes 8000 words of hard work and thirst. Have fun guys👀

Ushijima studies Tendou’s stiff posture carefully, not wanting to make any sudden moves that could potentially scare him away. 

A nervous and jittery Tendou, is a Tendou that needs to be handled with extreme care and caution - Ushijima knows this best, but the excited churning of his stomach can’t be helped.

They’re stuck in a dim, enclosed space for seven whole minutes, not to mention the fact that these seven minutes are allowing him the chance to finally, _finally_ , say what he’s wanted to for the longest time. Ushijima doesn’t think he’s ever held back this much from speaking his mind, from speaking what he believes to be the truth. 

Tendou’s back turns reluctantly, and Ushijima is hit with a pang in the chest when he sees how anxious he looks. Had Oohira’s assurance that Tendou wouldn’t reject him not been accurate? What if he accidentally puts off Tendou by being too forward? 

Tendou gives him a weak smile, so lacking in his usual exuberance and brightness that Ushijima frowns, discontented. 

“So...” he starts to say, but Ushijima cuts him off. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” He finds that he means what he says, even if it implies that he’ll have to wait some more to get his feelings out there. 

The tension in Tendou’s shoulders melts away, but he also seems to deflate a little upon hearing those words that are meant to have a more soothing effect. 

Ushijima picks up on the little signs that show Tendou’s reluctance to bridge the gap between them that’s been left far too wide for the past half a year. Ever since that first encounter in Tendou’s room when Ushijima had unknowingly set in motion this push and pull mechanism of their relationship, he had tried to understand his own feelings, and Tendou’s, in order not to lose the friendship that they already have. 

If Tendou doesn’t want to, he will refrain from talking about the simmering tension between them, but the slightly disappointed look on Tendou’s face is enticing in ways that Ushijima will never be able to comprehend. 

He just knows that he should do _something_. So he does. 

Pushing aside thoughts that Tendou might still not want to establish a relationship with him, even though he’s already heard of his true feelings, Ushijima steps forward. 

The darkness of the closet is both a blessing and a curse, and Tendou is grateful that there isn’t enough light for Ushijima to see his rapidly reddening face. He can’t stop his mind from going places when all that he’s ever wanted in his life is standing near him and being so...Ushijima-like. 

Of course he would suggest that they don’t do anything, even though he had been the one to volunteer to come in with Tendou. Strangely enough, the thought that Ushijima cares enough about him to follow him into a dingy closet at Semi's ridiculous demand makes Tendou’s heart feel warm. 

However, when he hears Ushijima moving in the dimness, he realises that if Ushijima can’t see his face, then he too can’t track his movements, and that makes him even more nervous. 

“Uhm, Wakatoshi-kun-” he breaks off when he feels that familiar heavy presence in front of him, and he shrinks back just a tiny bit in surprise. “Holy shit! You scared me!” 

Ushijima’s face comes into view then, and what sliver of light from the outside shines onto his face (is that determination he’s seeing?) through the cracks between the door and the doorframe. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to.” 

Tendou laughs, starting to feel less skittish than before. He can always count on Ushijima to be comically unbothered by any kind of situation. Though the jumpiness returns in full force when Ushijima moves closer still, until he has Tendou backed into the corner of the closet with nowhere to run yet again. 

_This...seems very familiar,_ they both think. 

As usual, it is Tendou who breaks the silence between them first, and this time, with a considerably more pitchy tone than before. “I thought you said we don’t have to do anything I don’t want to?” 

Ushijima raises an eyebrow at him and moves so that he’s caging him in between two walls and two arms. Tendou glances at his quirked eyebrow briefly, and his heart rate skyrockets impressively. 

_What the heck, why is he so hot?_

“You don’t want this?” Ushijima poses his question with his eyebrow still raised, slightly amused at the way Tendou is trying to subtly edge away from him and failing because he keeps forgetting that there’s a wall behind him. 

Tendou avoids his dark eyes, now glistening with mirth at his reaction, and he fidgets with his fingers in the minimal space left between their bodies. He feels too hot, too cramped and much too giddy, and when the scent of peppermint drifts into his nose, it addles his brain’s functions like some kind of deadly poison. 

He just about manages to stop himself from swooning when Ushijima holds two fingers to his chin and coaxes him into moving his head so that Ushijima can bore into him with his eyes. “N-No… That’s not what I meant...” 

_Wait, did I just say that out loud?_

Before he can panic at his slip up, Ushijima softens his voice, and lowers it until it sounds more like a whisper. It ghosts across the shell of his ear sensually, and Tendou shivers when Ushijima’s hot breath touches his cold neck. “Then, can I ask you something, Tendou?” 

Tendou melts against the wall, going limp and still as he nods, his heart hammering away in his chest like his alarm would in his head on a Monday morning. “Shoot.” he says weakly, too enthralled by Ushijima’s thick, rich voice and his unfairly attractive eyes that he uses against Tendou every chance he gets to formulate any of his usual jokes. 

The close contact really shouldn’t still affect him so much, but even after months of Ushijima’s not-so-subtle touching, he still can’t get used to the flirty gestures from the warm body that is so often by his side. 

Ushijima tries not to grin at the mock confidence Tendou has pasted on his face, but his expression turns deadly serious soon after. With his heart in his throat, he exhales lightly. “Is it possible that you…have feelings for me?” 

Tendou stiffens in his arms, horror colouring his face as the words register in his head; he looks like someone’s just told him that he won’t live for another month. Ushijima waits with bated breaths for the next few seconds, his eyes searching for a hint of something that might tell him his confession is going to be accepted.

Tendou’s mind grinds to a halt at the question, and he blinks twice to make sure he’s not in another one of his dreams-turned-nightmares. No, it’s real this time, and the thought makes him feel sick. _He knows. He knows and he’s going to-_

“Because I do.” Ushijima interrupts him smartly before he can deny the accusation vehemently. _That won’t do,_ Ushijima thinks. He is expecting a positive answer, although he feels a tiny bit guilty about how he’s practically hypnotising Tendou into telling him the truth. 

If everything works out, Ushijima will just have to make up for his sort-of cheating afterwards. Maybe he'll get Tendou ice cream. Yeah, his conscience can come later. Tendou’s admittance to his own feelings are more important. 

Tendou’s mind goes blank again. Rationality is nowhere to be found. His frantically darting eyes, which had been downturned and dejected before, tilt up to meet Ushijima’s nervous expression. 

_Nervous? Since when does Wakatoshi get nervous??_

His jaw drops when he doesn’t find any hint of insincerity in his face and his hands clench into fists by his sides. _What? Did I hear that correctly?_

Ushijima smiles at him gently. Tendou resists the urge to clutch at his heart. “I believe so.” Tendou reels back in shock again, and his head bumps into the solid wood behind him. _Am I hallucinating? Or did Wakatoshi-kun really just read my mind?_

Ushijima chuckles at his dumbstruck face, feeling affection curl around his heart unbearably fondly as he takes in the disbelief in Tendou’s expression. He looks like one of those memes that Yamagata likes to share in their group chat. It’s cute.

“You are speaking your thoughts out loud.” he answers in a voice thinly coated with amusement, which makes Tendou flush in embarrassment. “B-But- How? When? Wait, what?” he stutters, his eyes shining like they hold a billion stars in them, even though he’s still in shock and can’t really decide if this is reality or not. 

Ushijima leans closer, fascinated by the enchanting glimmer that reminds him of all the times Tendou babbled to him about some only mildly interesting topic while Ushijima himself couldn’t stop admiring the childish excitement in his gaze. 

Tendou feels his chest getting compressed lightly as he’s pushed up against the wall by a solid mass of hard muscle. A solid mass of hard muscle that smells _really_ good. 

“ _Wakatoshi-kun??_ ” he squeaks out pathetically as the air is slowly pushed out of his lungs. He feels Ushijima slide a leg in between his own to keep him from squirming away. Reflexively, he struggles, and his hands come up to grip onto the back of Ushijima’s button-down tightly. The fabric crumples easily in his hands, and he can feel heat seeping through it and into his fingers.

“Haha… Uhm, are you doing what I think you’re doing?” he laughs timidly when Ushijima shifts his arms higher and collapses his elbows so that he’s suddenly ten times nearer to his face than before. 

They are - not for the first time - pressed chest to chest and hip to hip, and it doesn’t leave much to the imagination when they can both hear each others’ thundering hearts. 

It seems exactly like the first time Ushijima had done the same thing to Tendou in the privacy of the latter’s room, except, there’s no table and that gives the redhead much less leeway to lean back away from dangerous territory, like Ushijima’s mouth. 

They’re so close that Ushijima can see the black lining the edges of Tendou’s large eyes, which is slightly smudged and gives his eyes a seductive allure that makes Ushijima swallow hard. 

Semi would have been ecstatic.

The movement doesn’t go unnoticed by Tendou, who latches onto any visible weakness that he can find to give himself time to make sense of the situation he’s in. “What’s gotcha so _worked up_ , Wakatoshi-kun?” he questions, some of his confidence returning as he watches Ushijima’s Adam’s apple bob at his suddenly mocking tone. 

Ushijima frowns, but there isn’t any meaning behind it other than the fact that he knows Tendou is trying to shift the attention away from himself. _That won’t work,_ he thinks, and he smirks as he replies, much to Tendou’s chagrin. “You haven’t answered my question yet, Tendou.” 

Tendou curses under his breath. “Damn.” He’s half regretting trying to play around when he’s already in such a disadvantageous position, with most of his body immobilized against the corner wall behind him. 

However, a sudden disturbing thought comes to his mind with a jarring stab, and his eyes widen when he sees shadows moving at the bottom of the door. 

As quietly as he can, he hisses at Ushijima urgently. “Wakatoshi-kun, as much as I would _love_ to continue this conversation, I really think we should-” 

“Do you not have an answer for me?” Ushijima presses closer as he cuts him off, and tilts his head downwards until his lips are right above Tendou’s quivering ones. One small extra millimetre, and their lips will touch. It silences him instantly. 

Tendou’s words die on the tip of his tongue when his eyes meet olive-brown ones, the deep, round pools sucking him in and making his head’s ability to function go wonky. He forgets everything that he had been about to say, as lame as that sounds. _God_ , he’s so whipped for this man. 

“I-I like you too?” he ends up saying in a daze, because that’s what Ushijima wants, right? He’ll die from pure embarrassment and shame if that wasn’t what he was supposed to say. 

But it appears that he was right, because the dazzling smile that Ushijima gives him just about makes his heart stop. _Wow. My eyes._

With Tendou successfully pushed out from his stubborn comfort zone, Ushijima’s eyes flick backwards as he starts to think. He isn’t as clueless as everyone thinks he is, so when he hears an almost inaudible thump from the outside, he knows that their friends are probably sneaking around on the other side of the door, waiting to pounce just as their time is up. 

But he finds that he cares very little about his snooping friends when he has Tendou, _lovely_ , _adorably flustered Tendou_ , in his arms and looking especially drowsy because of _him_. 

He hasn’t done much, but Tendou looks ready to melt into him and cling on, which is an endearing enough sight to make Ushijima want to indulge in it. He so badly wants to. Right _now_. 

But another clatter from outside reminds him that he doesn’t have much time left with Tendou in the closet - he wants to try one more thing before they have to leave - so he nudges him with the leg he’s using to pin his hips between the two joined walls. 

The responding whine of surprise is high-pitched and unexpected, and Ushijima nearly loses it when a breathy gasp echoes in his ears. He heaves his self-restraint back from the edge of the cliff before it can go tumbling over into the dark abyss below, and instead shushes Tendou with a soft, “May I…?” 

He doesn’t explicitly say what he wants, but Tendou gets it, and he blushes a furious red that could rival the colour of his hair. After a heartbeat, he nods almost imperceptibly, but Ushijima sees it anyway and closes in on him with gentle ferocity. 

When their mouths meet, they both sigh in bliss at the warmth that buzzes throughout their bodies and shoots down to the tips of their toes and fingers. Heat curls pleasantly in Tendou’s stomach, and his arms refuse to stay still. 

It’s chaste and sweet and loving, and just how Ushijima feels about Tendou. Tendou is everything that encompasses the kiss, and it’s euphoric to find out that he’s the type to grasp onto Ushijima’s everywhere when they’re entwined like this.

Ushijima’s arms release Tendou from their cage and come down to cup his jaw, his calloused fingers skimming over the high cheekbones that jut out and pulling him closer to deepen the kiss. He only allows himself a very brief moment to savour the feeling of Tendou’s hands sliding into his hair, and then he’s pulling away, his chest heaving. 

His back is facing the door, and from the increasing volume outside, he assumes that their time together is about to end. 

Tendou’s eyes are soft and open and so, _so tempting_ , but it’s okay. They have time, he’ll make time for the both of them to properly continue. 

Tendou seems unsatisfied, and he tugs on Ushijima’s head to pull him back down, a small furrow of his eyebrows marring his otherwise elated expression. “Wakatoshi...” he says as he stretches upwards to try and reconnect their lips. 

Ushijima chuckles quietly at his eagerness, but he catches Tendou’s wrist from the back of his head with one hand and brings it to the corner of his mouth. “Later. We will continue later.” he promises. 

Tendou stifles a frustrated sound that makes Ushijima want to throw down all his responsibilities as a senior and a third-year. He would have obliged were it not for the fact that they are in the least romantic place possible doing this, and that, very likely, the entire Shiratorizawa volleyball club is outside waiting to catch them in the act. 

He tightens his grip around Tendou’s skinny wrist to distract himself from the sight of Tendou staring up at him with this beseeching gaze that threatens to upend his carefully controlled composure. 

It’s as if he’s saying _Please, Wakatoshi-kun_ without actually opening his mouth. Ushijima can imagine him saying those exact same words, but with far more charm with the way he can change the tone and pitch of his voice so freely and expertly.

He will have to do something about this weakness of his. Later, in one of their rooms; most likely his own because he only has one neighbour instead of two. And, preferably together with an unclothed Tendou so that he can experiment and see if the weakness sticks when they’re not in a cramped, dark space where they can barely move around without bumping into things. 

He pulls back from their glued-together position against the wall, still holding onto Tendou’s wrist. And just in time too, because a scant second later, the door bursts open and the lights outside flood the confines of the closet like water on the shores of a beach. 

“Time’s up! Oh my god! What the hell happened?” Semi’s triumphant voice doesn’t make the burn in Tendou’s throat go away, in fact, it might be making it worse as he bites back a sarcastic remark about his friend’s (untimely) interruption. 

He refuses to let them see how annoyed he is, though. Tendou keeps his head held high and he pushes at Ushijima’s back with his free hand when the latter turns around to face Semi and the rest of their friend group with squinted eyes. 

Semi stares hard at the both of them as Ushijima leads Tendou out of the closet, trying to see if they had done anything, ehem, _inappropriate_ , like he’d expected them to. He grins, smug and unrestrained when he sees the bright blush fading from the tips of Tendou’s ears and the slightly mussed look to Ushijima’s normally neatly combed hair. 

Before Tendou can tell him to shut his obnoxiously big mouth, Semi hollers, at nobody in particular. “About fucking time, you two!” Oohira gives Ushijima a thumbs-up and receives a grateful nod in return. 

Tendou doesn’t realise that their hands are still tightly intertwined with each other’s, but he does notice when Ushijima tugs on their joined hands firmly, and in the direction of the nearest exit: the front door. He tries to pull it back, but Ushijima keeps a firm grip. 

_Alright then, maybe I’m not the only one who’s restless._ The thought sends a pleased thrill through him.

Yamagata, who has an arm slung around a red-faced Goshiki, salutes them as they pass him, before a confused expression graces his face. “Where are you guys going?” 

Tendou doesn’t know, to be honest, he can only focus on the heat emitted from Ushijima’s palm that bleeds into his own. He stays quiet, hoping that Ushijima will answer for the both of them, because hell, if he opens his mouth he knows the only thing that will come tumbling out is a feeble, “Ask Wakatoshi-kun.” Wouldn’t that be suspicious...

To his relief, and distress, Ushijima does answer Yamagata’s question, but he does so in a way that is sure to be considered ambiguous to anyone within earshot. “Tendou and I have…important things to discuss. We will be heading back first.” 

Tendou had thought that Ushijima would be making them sit down and talk about their feelings properly, because Tendou wants that too, although a smaller part - no less insistent, though - aches with the need to continue where they had left off just then. It looks like Ushijima has the same idea.

The words themselves have no meaning to them, as everyone always expects Ushijima to be straight-forward and blunt, but the cunning glint in his eyes when he gives everyone a mysterious smile makes Tendou’s stomach drop. He _smiles_. 

Tendou’s pale skin blooms with colour again at his suggestive implication.

Then he’s being towed through the crowd of their teammates. He catches fleeting glimpses of Yamagata’s teary eyes (what the hell?), Goshiki’s confusion, Shirabu and Kawanishi’s twin grimaces of mock disgust and Oohira’s laughing face. 

Semi, with a plastic cup full of sloshing liquid in his hand, runs after them through the throng of people, who have frozen in place as one mass, one body while the information is still being processed. 

When the front door is thrown open and his coat is draped over his shoulders gently, the last thing Tendou sees before the party disappears is Semi mouthing the words _Go get that ass!_ at him like an absolute pervert. 

Tendou flips him off and struggles to shrug on his coat in the cold air, shivering as he does so while trying not to let go of Ushijima’s hand. 

Moments later, the house erupts into chaos. 

  
  
  
  


Ushijima holds on tight to Tendou’s hands, and no matter how cold they are, or how low the temperature is, the fire burning in his gut doesn’t quite manage to be quelled. 

There’s an itch between his shoulder blades, that had started the moment he and Tendou walked out of the closet to an overabundance of stares from the whole team. Or, well, those that had been able to fit into the living room of the house. 

The need to get away from them, to get away from prying eyes had been almost unbearable, and Ushijima does his best not to show his impatience as they draw closer and closer to their school. 

The gates should still be open, since the curfew for students isn’t usually so early - he checked, five minutes ago it was only nine in the evening. 

Tendou says nothing as they walk quickly up the stairs to the second floor of the boys’ dormitory, but his fingers do squeeze a bit tighter when they come to a stop outside Ushijima’s closed door. 

He fumbles for his keys, which are supposed to be in the pocket of his jeans, and growls irritatedly when they get stuck. It is the worst possible moment for something to delay the time. 

The hallway is devoid of students. It’s not uncommon as now is usually the time when people would be out with friends or inside their own rooms studying, but the quietness is starting to get to Ushijima. 

For the first time in his life, he wonders how people can live with the silence when it’s currently trying to wring him around the neck with its suffocating emptiness. Or maybe it’s just him, since he’s never been _quite_ this turned on in his entire life. 

He’s so used to Tendou filling in the gaps between them with nonsensical words and excited yelling that it's downright strange to have him so docile, so unnaturally silent behind him. 

Ushijima’s hand finally frees the keys from his pocket, so he moves to stick it into the vertical slot- 

And misses completely when he feels a hot lick on the back of his neck. 

His heart does a flip in his chest when Tendou continues to mouth at his nape mercilessly, messily. Red hair obscures part of his view when Tendou’s head rests on his shoulder; it’s soft. 

“Come on, Wakatoshi-kun~ It's freezing standing out here.” Tendou purrs into his ear, and it takes all of Ushijima’s mental strength not to spin around, rip off their clothes and take him right there in the hallway where anyone can just waltz around the corner and see them. 

He shakes the disturbing thought from his head - the one about being seen, not about ripping off their clothes. He'd never think of claiming Tendou for himself as disturbing. Never. 

But it proves to be hard to oblige Tendou’s request when the redhead keeps placing small kisses on his neck and distracts him with hands that roam around his body greedily. 

He jams the key into the lock - _finally_ \- and twists it to unlock the door. They end up stumbling inside clumsily, before Ushijima finds himself pushed up against the door when it shuts. 

Tendou’s mouth greets him in a flurry of teeth and tongue and roughness that sends tingles down his spine. He kisses back just as hurriedly, his impatience finally boiling over into his actions as he pulls Tendou closer until their bodies are flush against each other and they can both feel each other through their jeans. 

It feels amazing to be able to hold Tendou in his arms like this, and he doesn’t think he’ll ever want to let go. 

When Tendou reaches behind him to turn the lock on his door, Ushijima pulls away to speak. Tendou whines against his mouth, needy and everything sinful. It sounds like heaven in his ears. Ushijima groans but moves his head to the side when Tendou tries to kiss him again. 

“Wakatoshi-kun...” Tendou complains, his movements sluggish but lustful. His hands go around Ushijima to clutch at his shoulders tightly. It feels good to have Tendou’s slender hands on his body. 

Ushijima’s chest heaves as he blinks the stars from his vision. Maybe he didn’t get enough oxygen, they’ll have to practice if they want to get the right timing. 

Right now, they’re both moving on instinct, and Ushijima wants to be sure that, however much he wants this, Tendou has to want it too. 

Although, judging by the intoxicated expression on his face, he must be feeling equally eager to move on to more unknown territory - if they weren’t both so _horny_ he would have thought it was cute. Right now, though, it’s just plain _sexy_. 

Ushijima clears his throat purposefully. “Tendou...” His voice is a little hoarse, as he’d expected, but it’s somehow also deeper than normal, which he doesn’t know the reason for. 

Tendou seems to like it, though, because he giggles and pokes at Ushijima’s Adam’s apple like he can flatten it if he really tries. “You sound nervous, Toshi.” 

The nickname doesn’t go unnoticed by Ushijima, whose mouth goes kind of dry at the way his given name sounds on a lust-drunk Tendou. Then Tendou whispers, his eyes half-closed and his smile small like he’s telling Ushijima a huge secret. “I am too.” 

Ushijima cracks a smile at that, but it fades as soon as Tendou starts rolling his hips down onto his. That makes him bite back a moan. 

Before Tendou can do it again and completely destroy his focus, Ushijima forces the words out with effort. “I do not think that I will be able to stop once we start.” 

It’s quiet and tense for a moment, and Ushijima half expects Tendou to reject him and say he’s not ready, and he’ll respect that if that’s the case. But Tendou, after half a beat of suspense, gives him a cheeky smile and wraps his long arms around Ushijima’s neck. 

He buries his face into the crook of his neck and sighs. “I want to. Been wanting you forever, Toshi.” Ushijima could just as well go fling himself off a building with the way his stomach is somersaulting in his body; he’s that much more aroused by the pleading tone of that _I want to. Been wanting you forever._

He thinks he can just die happy right now. 

Ushijima returns the gesture, slightly less anxious now that he knows Tendou wants this just as badly as he does. 

He tries to remember where he’d put the things he bought last time, in preparation for this very moment, of course. The mild worry of things not going as he would like them to is dispelled when he recalls himself placing the stuff they would need in the bottom drawer of his bedside table. 

With Tendou’s wandering hands groping at his shirt, Ushijima bends down quickly and hooks his arms under Tendou’s knees. He locks his fingers together and picks him up like he weighs as much as a mere bag of flour. 

Tendou lets out a surprised yelp, but otherwise doesn’t react hugely as he leans back to stare at Ushijima’s face. Tendou notes that he doesn’t even have to bother with his dangling legs when Ushijima can carry him so easily. “Well shit, Toshi, I didn’t expect you to be this confident.” 

“I am not exactly what you would call confident.” he replies as he starts walking over to his bed. Tendou huffs at him, his red bangs swaying as he exhales. “Yeah, right. Says the man who volunteered to do Seven Minutes In Heaven with me just to make me confess. You totally knew that I had a crush on you.” 

“Perhaps.” he answers shortly, which makes Tendou squawk in outrage. “Did Semi Semi tell you? Or was it Reon-kun who betrayed me?” 

Ushijima smothers him with another hot kiss, licking teasingly at his bottom lip before settling him down - back first - onto his bed gently. “Neither.” 

Tendou blinks at him from behind hooded eyes - they’re fueling that fire in his belly again, and this time, Ushijima isn’t going to stop. “Hmm… I’ll take your word for it then, Wakatoshi-kun.” 

Ushijima moves slower now, and as he lines his body up with Tendou’s, he realises something. “Why did you stop?” 

Tendou looks slightly confused, but he shudders when Ushijima trails a hand up his torso, grazing the lines of his abdomen through his silk top. His coat has been discarded elsewhere, probably tossed aside when they had been all over each other the moment they’d made it into the room. 

“Stop what?” he asks in response. “You gave me a nickname.” Ushijima hovers inches over him, his handsome face visible even though the only light that’s on is the lamp on his bedside table. “I like it.” 

Tendou flushes. “I don’t really know what came over me. You want me to use it?” Ushijima nods once, and hooks a finger beneath the hem of Tendou’s shirt. “Please.” 

Tendou’s hands find their place on Ushijima’s chest, and he starts to unbutton his shirt with fast, precise movements. 

One by one, their pieces of clothing are shed, and they both take a few good moments to admire everything about each other. 

Just like their personalities, their physiques are the exact opposite of each other. 

Ushijima is broad and muscular and big everywhere, and his regular routine of running in the sun gives his skin a tan, bronzed look, muscles a sinewy dark gold. His abdomen is hard, the lines painfully defined, and his chest is powerful and widely set just like his shoulders. 

Tendou has seen this part of him many times when they were changing in the locker room, but it still takes the breath out of him when he sees it fully, properly now. 

There is no rush to cover anything up and, as his eyes trail down to the muscles in Ushijima’s legs, he feels the same predatory gaze on his own body as well. 

He’s not the only one who has admiration in his eyes. 

Tendou might have been almost the same height as Ushijima, but his body was slimmer, thinner. His skin is soft - deliciously pale, and it reminds Ushijima of a blank canvas he’d seen before in one of the art classrooms in their school. Clear of marks, and entirely for him to paint and colour. His flat stomach has barely-there indentations on it, the only testament to their rigorous practice sessions being the two parallel lines cutting his abdomen into three equal sections of lean muscle.

Moving downwards leads to a narrow waist and long legs that dig heels into the edge of the bed to push himself up further. The legs stay propped up, waiting, waiting for him. 

Tendou stares at him appreciatively with eyes that almost glow red in the dark. Tendou blinks and it’s faint, but Ushijima can still see the black smudged around his eyes; the smoky, seductive look does things to the furnace in his belly. They scream _Come on, Toshi. I’m here_ at him. 

Ushijima swallows hard, and his heartbeat accelerates at an alarming rate. He wants to get his mouth on Tendou’s breathtaking beauty right this second. The air around them is rapidly heating up and charged with electricity again, and Ushijima needs to get on to the main event they’re both craving before he chokes on the sexual tension between them.

Tendou’s shaky sigh of anticipation only encourages him. 

He yanks open the drawer and fishes out a small bottle of lube. Tendou’s eyes are immediately drawn to it, and he rasps out a teasing inquiry. “I see you’re all prepared.” 

Ushijima glances down at him, his eyes smoldering like two lava pits in a volcano as he uncaps the bottle and pours some of the cold liquid into his palm. He coats his fingers with it thoroughly as he answers, his voice thick with hunger. “I’ve been...studying.” 

Tendou laughs, the sound bright. “Would’ve expected no less from you, Toshi.” 

Ushijima smiles down at him, feral and wolfish as he grips onto one of Tendou’s thighs with his free hand. He needs to do this right if he doesn’t want any harm to come to them both. His heart would be in terrible pain, crushed under the weight of guilt, if he accidentally hurt the person he cares about most. 

He kisses the inside of Tendou’s thigh as he lowers his knees to the mattress and settles his body between two milk-coloured limbs. “Are you ready?” he asks softly, nuzzling his cheek into the skin by his teeth as he nips at it once, twice. 

He hears Tendou’s trembling breath catch and looks up just in time to see his face split into a smile. “For you, always.” he says breathily, looking like his face is going to be cut clean into two by his wide beam. Ushijima suppresses the groan in the back of his throat, and plunges in with the first finger. 

The gasp from Tendou makes his stomach clench tightly and the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. It must be uncomfortable for Tendou, who screws his face up into a slight grimace as Ushijima experiments with his single finger. “Are you alright, Tendou?” 

One of Tendou’s arms gets slung over his eyes as he answers. “Yeah, just- It feels a little weird.” Ushijima hums his acknowledgement. He knows it can be hard the first time. 

In his head, he silently thanks the internet for putting all this information on a platter for him, easily accessible. Otherwise it would have been a huge problem if both of them had no idea what they were doing. 

He slides another thick finger in in no time, which earns him a hoarse cry from Tendou that goes straight to his crotch. 

“Ya know- _ah_ \- I always thought that you were just enjoying getting a reaction out of me- _shit_ -” Tendou curses when another digit joins the two already in him, and he chokes on nothing when he feels all three burrow in deep, until he can feel Ushijima’s knuckles brush the rim of his opening. 

“-the whole time you suddenly became really touchy.” he manages to finish. Ushijima leans down to pepper his legs with soft kisses - they’re really distracting - and releases his thigh to give a sharp tug on his stiff cock, which lies heavily on his stomach. “I do, actually.” 

A moan slips out from between Tendou’s parted lips just as he’s about to voice his indignation - indignation that flees from his mind the moment he feels that large hand wrap around his base tightly. 

His head keeps flopping back down onto the mattress and coming up again to see what Ushijima is doing. He doesn’t just want to feel, he wants to see Ushijima’s gorgeous face as he’s preparing him for what’s coming next; he wants to touch him. 

Tendou slides a hand down to Ushijima’s head and fists his hands into the dark strands. They’re fluffy and course, and he gives a soft pull that gets a surprised grunt out of Ushijima’s mouth, which had otherwise remained shut before. _Shit, that’s hot._

“Toshi- I’m ready.” he gasps when Ushijima’s fingers brush against his prostate fleetingly. Ushijima pulls his fingers out and pumps them back in again, steady but careful as he tries to find- 

Tendou’s whole body jerks when he does it again, and he whines in the back of his throat when Ushijima pulls out his fingers completely. “Toshi, _hurry_.” he urges, his voice insistent and thin with impatience. 

Ushijima noses his thigh as if to say _Be patient_ when, really, that’s the last thing that they both are. He can tell from the way Ushijima is ripping out a condom, with his facial muscles tight and clenched, that he’s anything _but_ unhurried and composed, and it makes Tendou’s head fuzzy with want. 

He beckons him over once he sees that Ushijima has slid on the rubber casing, but his tongue gets twisted up when he sees Ushijima give his monstrous erection a few hard strokes with his lube-coated hand. 

_It’s a generous amount,_ he thinks, and it's probably very much needed if Tendou is going to accept anything of _that_ size into him. The thought is enough to make his nerves return and suddenly, he feels a lot less eager about this than before. 

Ushijima, always observant of his moods, notices his worry and is quick to come over and reassure him. “Are you sure?” he asks, his expression serious but caring. Ushijima’s dark eyes hold all the adoration and gentleness in the world, and Tendou thinks he could just sob from how much he reciprocates those feelings. 

He bites his lip instead. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just- nervous.” Ushijima blinks at him, his lashes moving in slow motion. “I am too.” 

Tendou pouts at him, his lips puckering up as he complains. “What have you got to worry about, Toshi? I’m the one who’s going to be railed by your dick, not you.” Ushijima’s lips curl up at the edges slightly as he tears his eyes away from plush, kiss-swollen lips. 

“I am afraid of hurting you.” he says, his voice impossibly soft for someone of such huge stature and presence. The curve of his shoulders lures Tendou’s greedy hands in, and he reaches up to snake his arms around them. 

Ushijima’s skin burns almost like live coals would against his own, fiery and stinging, but he can’t remember the last time he felt this wanted, this happy. He can feel strong muscles shift and contract underneath his palms, and he traces little circles into smooth, golden skin to keep his mind off the fact that he loves this man _so fucking much_. 

Ushijima hisses as Tendou’s cold hands slide across the small of his back and knead at his tense muscles expertly, strong fingers working their way back up to his shoulder blades. Tendou’s touch is like a relieving douse of cold water on his searing hot skin, and he craves the way it balances out the temperature between their bodies. 

Everywhere they touch, is an area of dizzying, electrifying warmth. 

Tendou pulls Ushijima down for a kiss, his tongue hot and heavy and sliding across the soft lips against his own mouth. It lacks technique and it’s a little too sloppy, but they both embrace it nonetheless. 

When they pull apart with their foreheads touching, Tendou mumbles into Ushijima’s lips. “I’m ready, Toshi. I want you.” Ushijima gives him a hesitant glance, but Tendou is determined this time, he won’t back out.

Ushijima lines up with his entrance as he crawls over him and supports himself with his arms, his biceps flexing, and Tendou takes the time to run his hands down the dips of Ushijima’s broad back. 

With every graze of Tendou’s fingertips, Ushijima feels small tremors race through his body, and he retaliates with open-mouthed kisses on Tendou’s pale neck. He leaves little marks of his teeth when he bites down hard enough to draw out a whine, and scatters purple bruises everywhere when his lips latch on and suck. 

He smiles when he pulls back, his mouth a soft curve, and it gives him a strange sense of self-satisfaction to see Tendou struggling not to close his eyes in ecstasy. When he pushes his tip in, though, those same eyes fall completely shut as Tendou arches his back in response. 

It’s painstakingly slow as he inches in cautiously, but when Ushijima finally sinks in fully, he grunts at the delicious tingling at the base of his spine. Tendou winces, mostly because it’s a _really_ tight fit - he can already tell from the slight burn - but also because it’s an entirely unfamiliar feeling. It helps that Ushijima is letting him get used to it first. 

Ushijima brushes his red hair out of his face for him, and Tendou smiles up at him when he sees his usually stone-faced expression crack with pleasure. 

His dark eyes are heated, scorching even as they roam over Tendou’s neck, his chest, his stomach; everything. He loves everything about Tendou, and he makes it known by swooping down to connect their mouths again. 

They start slow, a cozy fire rumbling happily in a hearth, before moving on to experiment with their teeth and tongues, giving way for the roaring flames that shoot upward like fireworks. A scrape of the teeth on his bottom lip makes Tendou emit a sound akin to a squeak, and Ushijima smiles into the kiss when he feels Tendou nip at his lip in return. 

They kiss like they act around each other, Tendou daring and enthusiastic and Ushijima careful and calculative. It has its ups and downs like their own relationship, where Ushijima accidentally clacks his teeth against Tendou’s and apologises, and where Tendou finds that Ushijima likes it when he sucks on his bottom lip hard. 

They break apart after a while, breathless and giddy, but utterly blissful. 

Ushijima has a hard time keeping his hips still, and it shows when his thick girth pulses in excitement. Tendou feels it, and he shivers when Ushijima’s eyes meet his to ask a silent question. He nods, and all at once it’s like the dam blocking a river has been removed as passion bursts forth. 

The movements start slow and languid, until there’s a sudden whimper and several panting sighs and the pace picks up, fast and strong and brutally deep. 

Tendou’s hands still wander shakily over the expanse of Ushijima’s back, and as he feels the coil of heat in his abdomen start to tighten, he drags desperate fingers down Ushijima’s back, his straining biceps, leaving shallow marks as his blunt nails dig in painfully. 

Ushijima doesn’t mind but it does provoke his already weakening control, and he lashes out, his expression wild as he fucks back into the tight, slick heat that’s welcoming him, _embracing_ him even. 

They both chase their climax, eager to meet it and drown in it like it’s a surge of river water overflowing the banks restraining it, and it isn’t long before a final thrust into his prostate makes Tendou cry out and come. 

He holds on tight to Ushijima as he waits for the stars to fade from his vision, and he remains dazed until Ushijima fastens his speed minutely and snaps his hips forward again. That makes him cry out, but it’s hastily muffled when a tongue is shoved into his mouth. 

Then Ushijima too is drowning and swamped by his own orgasm, the aftershocks of it draping over his trembling muscles in the form of fatigue and exhaustion. But he doesn’t collapse just yet, he doesn’t want to crush Tendou under his considerable weight. 

Instead, he looks down at Tendou’s face, his lustful gaze clearing as he notices the sweat that has formed on the other’s forehead. He brings a careful hand up to wipe the salty liquid from Tendou’s flushed skin, and he chuckles when Tendou merely leans into his touch tiredly. 

There’s a sticky feeling on his lower abs, and he knows that they should clean it up before it dries and becomes too dirty. But it’s hard when the blissed-out look on Tendou’s face is tempting him to lie down next to him and pull him into a hug. 

He manages to push the feeling aside for now, and says softly, “I’m going to clean us up. Wait for me.” Tendou nods at him, his eyes still glazed over and reimagining the moment when he’d seen Ushijima’s attractive face fall prey to the pleasure they’d both been feeling. He’ll never get tired of seeing it. 

A dull ache has already begun to settle between his legs, and he’s half certain that he’ll be terribly sore the next day. He whimpers a little when Ushijima pulls out, feeling oversensitive. He gets a peck on the cheek as an apology, much to his surprise. He takes it though, because he likes it when Ushijima takes care of him like a doting lover. 

_Are we lovers now?_ He pauses to think. 

A rustle from somewhere near the foot of the bed draws his attention away from his thoughts, and he flinches when a warm cloth touches his skin. “Sorry. I should have warned you.” 

Tendou shakes his head, still trying to catch his breath. “That was- _Wow_.” He doesn’t even think he has the words to describe what just happened. Ushijima chuckles, his voice raspy and still as deep as before. “I am glad you found it enjoyable.” 

Tendou sits up with an incredulous look on his face, suddenly less tired. “What? It was way more than that, Toshi! You should give yourself some credit! It was your first time too!” Ushijima purses his lips, his eyes thoughtful. 

“...It was your first time, right?” 

“Yes, it was.” Ushijima grins at him, his smile tiny. “You’re teasing me! That’s unfair, I nearly thought I was wrong, Toshi!” 

Ushijima finishes wiping them both down, and sets the towel aside before sitting next to Tendou. He lays on his side, dragging the blanket over them and opening up his arms for Tendou to scoot closer. He does so heartily, his expression so radiant that Ushijima has to drop his head down into Tendou’s hair to prevent himself from going blind. 

He inhales deeply the scent of fruits from soft, red tresses as he wraps an arm around Tendou’s naked waist and says, “You smell nice.” 

Tendou wrinkles his nose as he returns the gesture, nudging his own arm over Ushijima’s hard torso. “I don’t know how your nose works, Toshi, but I can assure you that sweat smells anything but nice.” Ushijima frowns. “But your hair smells like fruits.” 

A snort of amusement from below makes him look down. “Oh, that’s because all my soaps are made with fruit essences.” 

“I would like to borrow some next time. Is that okay?” Tendou gasps dramatically, making him smile. “Why, of course! I’d be glad to share some of it with you, Toshi! Eita-kun’s totally gonna eat his words. He says my taste in soap is childish.” 

Ushijima can almost feel the pout against his chest. “I think it’s cute.” A slap on his right chest forces a huff out of him. “Toshi, you’re gonna kill me. You can’t just _say_ that.” 

“Oh, my apologies then.” 

Silence settles between them after that, until Tendou remembers something. “Hey, uhm, Toshi?” 

“Yes, Tendou?” Tendou blushes an awkward pink at the endearing tone he hears right above his ear, and his voice turns slightly hesitant. “Uhm...just to be clear, we’re dating now, aren’t we?” He looks up at the same time that Ushijima looks down at him with a curious expression, as if he can’t fathom why Tendou would ask such a thing. “Of course, I would like you to be my boyfriend.” 

“Oh, right. I want you to be mine too, Toshi.” he giggles, feeling like a stone has been lifted from his heart. “If you’ll have me, I want to be by your side for the rest of my life.” Ushijima continues.

Tendou gapes at him, his mouth falling open in shock. “Was that a proposal??” Ushijima shrugs, but his upturned lips betray his thoughts. “If you would like it to be.” 

He gets another light smack for that, although Tendou goes even redder at the thought of treating his words as such. “I didn’t know you were such a flirt, Wakatoshi-kun.” Ushijima merely grunts in response and nuzzles into his hair. 

Tendou relaxes fully in his protective hold, feeling the strength in Ushijima’s arms when he tightens his grip on Tendou’s waist momentarily to change position. He feels himself getting pulled closer to the solid chest beside his ear, and he listens to the strong, steady heartbeat that grows just the tiniest bit faster when he rests his cheek there. 

Tendou smiles to himself. He’s about to close his eyes and yield to the black abyss of sleep when another thought races through his mind. 

“Wait, Toshi, you never told me how you knew that I like you!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have you guys sinned too?😃
> 
> As usual, kudos and comments are appreciated here in this world of UshiTen brainrot:)) Lemme know what you guys think about this, like, really. First ever publishing of such a scene, so I'd like to know what you guys want in the future 😉
> 
> Follow me on Instagram @bts_ateez._.suju and come scream about UshiTen and other Haikyuu ships with me💜💜 See you all soon!


	8. Routines and The Things They Bring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand I'm back!!! I'm so glad to be able to post this chapter🤗 Pls, take all this fluff + a lil bit of tension, I would love to see how you guys like it:))) I hope you guys have fun reading!!

“Wakatoshi-kun, your hand!” 

“I am not going to let go.” 

“But then everyone will see!” 

“It does not matter to me.” 

Tendou gives up trying to wrench his hand out from Ushijima’s tight grip on it, his eyes darting around self-consciously. 

The number of stares they had gotten when they’d descended the stairs from the second floor of their dorm building can’t compare to how much attention they’re getting now. They’re hard to miss, actually, being two famous players from their school’s renowned volleyball team, strolling down the hallway to the cafeteria for breakfast on a Saturday morning with their hands intertwined. 

No matter how much Tendou protests and tries to pry his hand away from Ushijima’s insistent hold, he can’t seem to stop his boyfriend from dragging him towards their destination with him, who’s determined not to let their schoolmates affect how they would have acted as an open couple.

Tendou has half a mind to collapse into a 2D version of himself and paste himself on the walls to avoid all the questioning looks they’ve been getting all morning. 

Tendou bites his lip, feeling his ears warm when a classmate of his walks past, does a double take at the sight of their joined hands and then proceeds to flash him a thumbs up and a small smile. 

“Kanako-chan wait-” he tries to stop her with a wildly gesturing hand to explain but the short girl side steps him easily in his flustered state and gives him a parting wink as she twirls out of reach with a, “Congratulations, Tendou-kun!” 

Tendou wants to bury himself into the ground at the teasing tone of her voice. “Thanks...” he mutters a little disbelievingly. 

Who would have thought that the silent girl sitting next to him in class would understand their situation so easily with just a glance? 

He shudders at the thought, and a new problem quickly raises flags in his head the moment his imagination starts acting up again. _Eita will be a total pain about this._

Unfortunately for him, it is nothing short of the truth, if Semi’s proud smirk that is directed at him when he enters the barely-filled cafeteria is anything to go by. More concerning is the fact that Oohira and Yamagata are both sitting at the same table with matching grins on their faces when they spot the both of them. 

He notices when their eyes drop down to where his and Ushijima’s hands are, and the dread in his stomach sours a little bit more at the thought of them having the same reactions. 

“Well, well.” Semi’s voice is smug and his smile provocative. “Look what the cat dragged in, or should I say, look what Wakatoshi dragged in?” 

Yamagata bursts into a peal of hysterical laughter, unable to hold in his mirth at the scene any longer. Oohira’s smile grows wider, but it is less annoying than Semi’s - only just. 

“Shut up!” Really, that’s the only thing he can say, because his face is already going red and his free fingers are also twitching against his thigh. 

He scowls to hide his embarrassment, and sinks down onto the bench opposite Semi with Ushijima right beside him and sticking extremely close. He scooches over to Tendou’s side immediately, reluctant to sit too far away when there is nothing stopping him from glueing himself to the redhead’s side. _His_ redhead. 

It sends a pleasurable sensation through his body to call Tendou his since he’s been wanting this for so long. The feeling of being able to hold his hand without pondering if it’s appropriate is heartwarming in a nice kind of way.

Apparently, he’s not the only one who’s grateful that they’ve gotten together. 

Semi, always the enthusiastic busybody, scoffs at them both with a glare turned their way. “Fucking _finally_! Do you guys have any idea how hard it was to watch you two chase after each other and not actually do anything about it?” 

Ushijima blinks, but he doesn’t stop leaning into Tendou’s rapidly warming side, even when Semi fixes a raised eyebrow on him. “I don’t think I follow.” 

Tendou stifles a laugh, and Ushijima turns his head to watch the sound spill from his lips like a beautiful waterfall. An expression of wonder flits across his face for a second, but Oohira catches it. He keeps quiet though, content to let Semi berate the two of them for not realising their feelings for each other sooner. 

Tendou bristles at the scolding, and launches back at Semi with renewed ire as he accuses him for that one time when he had forced his feelings out of him and had been unlucky (lucky?) enough to be overheard by Ushijima. 

Semi wrinkles his nose at that, and tries to deny that he’d done anything of the sort. 

“You just knew that Wakatoshi-kun was outside and would stop to listen in, didn’t you?” 

Semi sticks out his tongue, displaying a rather indignant disposition as he continues to shake his head. “No, I didn’t, idiot. It was an accident.” Tendou opens his mouth to fire off more questions, but Semi changes the topic quickly as he averts his eyes slyly. 

“So...” he rubs his hands together in this unsettling way. “Did you guys have sex last night? You look like you've just ascended to heaven.” 

Tendou stumbles over his words instantly and his face goes bright red again. 

Oohira pinches Semi’s arm, eliciting a pained complaint from him. “Don’t ask them such rude questions. It’s none of your business.” 

He gives an apologetic smile to the pair, noticing that Ushijima is still gazing at Tendou with a fond look on his face. He chuckles to himself when he sees that Tendou is too preoccupied trying to formulate a comeback to catch the fact that Ushijima is staring at him lovingly. Anyone who walked past would have been able to tell that he was smitten. 

It kind of makes Oohira want to drag Shirabu over here so that he and Semi can get their shit together next. Anything would be better than having to stand Semi’s nightly - and routine - rants about ridiculously-cut copper bangs and stupidly charming quips. 

“Yeah, Reon-kun’s absolutely right. It's none of your business, Semi Semi!” The grin drops into a vexed scowl on Semi’s face. “Stop calling me that!” he snaps, much to Tendou’s childish delight. 

His collared sweater shifts a little when he claps his hands together, and Ushijima manages to catch one of the many bruises he’d given Tendou last night and survived till the morning, and it ignites a kind of pride in him that shines through his eyes. 

He’s rather pleased with how they turned out, although Tendou had been at his wit’s end trying to find a top in Ushijima’s closet that had a collar tall enough to hide some of the more obvious ones on his neck before they’d headed downstairs fifteen minutes ago. 

_“Toshi, maybe next time-” Ushijima had paused his own changing of clothes to give him a knowing smile at the subtle promise. “-you’ll consider making them a little lower?”_

_That had urged him to wrap an arm around Tendou’s waist lazily once he’d pulled on a clean shirt. “I will keep that in mind.”_

_They had stayed like that for a while, simply basking in each other’s presence as they swayed a little from side to side. Until Ushijima had broken the comfortable atmosphere._

_“But I quite like them like that, I must admit.” A scandalised and horror-laced “Toshi!” had sent him into a bout of soft chuckles._

Those dark eyes now wander across the expanse of skin from the tiny sliver exposed when Tendou bickers with Semi and his clothes move together with him, to the skin stretched tight over his jaw and cheeks and giving his face a nice sharpness to it. 

Ushijima is disturbed from his admiring when Semi’s voice floats into his head. “Seriously though, what happened last night? You guys disappeared so quickly even though I was right there at the door sending you off!” 

Oohira sighs in exasperation, and Tendou shoots Semi a glare for bringing the topic up again. He interrupts quickly, not wanting Ushijima to answer such a ludicrous question just to satiate Semi’s monstrous curiosity. “Wakatoshi doesn’t have to answer if he doesn’t want to, right Toshi?” 

Yamagata raises his eyebrows at the unfamiliar nickname, but Ushijima ignores him. Tendou’s just asked him a question, but he can’t really concentrate on anything else but the fact that he can’t wait for them to be alone with each other again in the privacy of his room. 

Instead of replying, he snakes both arms around Tendou’s slim waist and manhandles him out of his seat. Tendou yelps in surprise and slaps a hand over his mouth to muffle the sound so that they won’t attract anymore attention. 

Ushijima throws one leg over the side of the bench they’re sitting on to make it easier to deposit Tendou into his lap. He keeps his arms around Tendou and hooks his chin over his shoulder to look at Semi, who’s giving them a most judgemental look at Ushijima’s public display of affection. 

For the first time since they’ve sat down at the table, Ushijima speaks, and his voice rumbles out in a low baritone that causes the hairs on the back of Tendou’s neck to stand. 

“We...had fun. Last night.” He couples it with a rare smile, so full of suggestion and meaningful implication that Tendou nearly chokes on his saliva in shock. 

He twists around, floored by the amount of emotion Ushijima is displaying to their friends, and at the expense of Tendou’s dignity no less. 

“Toshi!” He knows that Ushijima knows what he’s referring to and, by the teasing glint in his dark eyes, very well indeed. But Ushijima leans forward to nose his flushed cheek, whispering honestly, “Well, I did. And I intend to prolong this fun of ours.” 

A flash of want in his impassive gaze makes Tendou to whip back to the front with his cheeks flaming hot. 

_Oh my fucking god_ is all he can think until Semi cuts in with a revolted, “Gross, I guess you guys will be disgustingly in love now. Congrats.” The sarcasm in his voice doesn’t go unnoticed, so Tendou flips him off for being an asshole, and then wiggles around in Ushijima’s lap slightly before settling into a comfortable position and leaning back into his broad, warm chest. 

He feels the strong arms encircling his waist shift and tighten according to his own movements, and smiles when Semi resumes chatting with Yamagata and Oohira about their upcoming finals. 

_I could get used to this._

  
  
  
  


The team doesn’t take the news much better than Tendou expects. 

Goshiki stares at them both, the gears in his head turning slowly before he lets out a squeak and rushes up to Tendou with red cheeks. “Congratulations, Tendou-senpai and Ushijima-san!” 

Tendou ruffles his hair tenderly, smiling brightly down at the first-year as he buzzes with excited energy and bounces on the balls of his feet. “Thanks Tsutomu, I owe you one for not helping me during last night’s game!” 

Goshiki splutters at the sudden reminder, and he scratches at the back of his neck guiltily. “Not at all...” he mutters, before he’s being pushed aside by Shirabu, who eyes Tendou with more grudging respect than his usual expression betrays. 

“I assume you two are together now. Thank goodness, then we won’t have to suffer through your cluelessness anymore.” He directs his words more towards Tendou, and gives a deferential nod to Ushijima, who wears a small confused frown. 

Tendou retorts back. “You’re one to talk, Kenjirou.” 

He doesn’t say anymore than that because Semi would probably bash his head in if he does, but the hint isn’t missed, and Shirabu turns a scowl his way before marching off with an irritated huff. 

“What are you still standing here for? Go and warm up!” Shirabu barks at an awed-looking Goshiki, who snaps to attention with a raise of his shoulders and runs off with a panicked “Sorry! I’ll get to it right now!” Tendou chuckles at the scene. 

He feels a tug on his wrist a moment later, and follows Ushijima to a quieter corner of the gym where the rest of the team aren’t likely to focus on them. 

He raises his eyebrows playfully at Ushijima’s frown, wondering what’s going through his head at the moment to have him put on such a concerned expression. 

“Something wrong, Wakatoshi-kun?” he inquires, his large eyes curious. They slide to the side to monitor what’s happening behind them, but ultimately return to Ushijima’s face with a small quirk of his mouth. 

“Did Kenjirou confuse you?” he guesses. Ushijima nods and leans closer to hear his explanation. He doesn’t have to ask, because he knows Tendou always strives to help him understand his teammates a little better; he’s not good at reading the nuances of people’s tones and expressions, but he tries. 

As expected, Tendou says quietly, a faint trace of amusement evident in his voice. “He probably meant that the team knew we liked each other, and they were having a hard time not saying anything about it.” 

Ushijima’s frown unknits itself as he processes the information. But Tendou isn’t done. His back touches the wall when he collapses backward, and he crosses his arms over his chest, scrunching his nose up. “Although, I hate that all of them somehow knew about us before we even did anything. The lack of privacy is atrocious!” 

Ushijima stops a smile from breaking out on his face at his sulking, and inches closer after a measured glance backwards. The team is still preoccupied with some of their own preparations. Good. 

Tendou gives him a smirk when Ushijima closes the gap between them steadily and grasps his wrist again. It’s becoming a habit now, Ushijima thinks, holding onto that skinny, veiny hand that seems to be able to bring him happiness with no bounds. 

“Whatcha tryna do, Wakatoshi?” 

The light of his life shines so bright that he wants to shield it from view, keep it away from others’ predatory gazes, anything to shackle it to him and have it by his side forever. 

He huffs, dragging Tendou a little closer, until their noses are touching slightly and the smirk on Tendou’s face morphs into a delighted smile. It’s the smile that does him in. It is much too endearing to resist, even in a gymnasium filled with people that they know and play volleyball with. 

He doesn’t deign him an answer, though, and swoops down swiftly to capture soft lips in his own. The surprised sound that leaves those lips makes him grin, and he gives the seam of Tendou’s mouth a wet lick before pulling away entirely and striding off in the direction of their teammates, who have gathered at the benches and are preparing to start their practice. 

“Come, we’re starting soon.” he throws over one shoulder with a teasing look. Then he pauses. “Also, I believe it is ‘Toshi’.” 

He takes in a brief glimpse of glistening lips and dazed eyes before he turns back around fully, expecting Tendou to follow him. He does, and it’s adorable when he bumps Ushijima in the side with one sharp elbow and says, not very composedly, “I’ll get you next time, just you wait!” 

Ushijima feels a familiar thrum of excitement in his chest at the challenge, and he vows not to lose ‘next time’ happens. As they arrive behind the large group that is huddled around the coaches, he whispers, soft and sweet but also sultry and deep. “I look forward to it.” 

  
  
  
  


The next few weeks of school aren’t much different, and the two soon settle into a familiar, albeit slightly more intimate routine. 

It’s in the small differences of their day to day interactions, the ones that Semi calls revolting and Goshiki and Yamagata gush over. It’s in the little things they do for each other, the tiny, unnoticeable acts that give so much warmth to the both of them. 

It’s in Tendou’s excited ramblings about how Ushijima always makes his day as they lay down together in bed after a whole day of reading and discussing manga. It’s in Ushijima’s eyes when he stares lovingly at Tendou when they’re in the cafeteria with their friends and Tendou is making those big, extra movements of his arms and twenty different emotions pass over his face at the same time. 

It’s in the way the both of them snuggle up to each other with their arms around each other and their legs criss-crossed together after a rigorous session of training. It’s certainly in the times that they both tangle and lose themselves in each other, taking shape in the form of heavy, pleasure-filled sighs and breathy whines that permeate the air - routine. 

Their relationship is like a lone wave on the ocean, it crests quickly and falls just as fast and has its ups and downs when the wind blows just a little harder than usual. 

When they bicker - Ushijima does his best to humor his boyfriend - they end up finding more reasons to fall more in love, and when they cuddle, they naturally choose to savour the tender moments. 

Tendou makes it clear that he still feels their relationship isn’t real, but Ushijima is there to ground him to reality whenever it seems like Tendou is doubting himself. 

_“Toshi, are we really together?”_

_Ushijima looks confused. “Yes, of course. Why would you think otherwise?”_

_Tendou sighs, his expression mournful and sad. “It feels like I’m dreaming, Toshi. What if I wake up and find that we were never together? I don’t think I’d be able to stomach the disappointment.”_

_Ushijima yanks him into his embrace, smoothing his hair out of his eyes as his own abdomen churns with something that feels like determination. “That won’t happen. It is not a dream, Tendou.”_

_To show him proof, Ushijima ends up skimming his fingers up the sides of Tendou’s waist, earning him a shudder and shaky inhale. “Alright, I believe you.”_

Autumn gives way to winter, and when their final examinations come to an end, Ushijima and Tendou find themselves lying down in bed on a weekend, half asleep under the covers and bundled up in a multitude of sweaters and other warm clothes. 

Tendou’s leg is thrown over the side of Ushijima’s hip, and he clings one hand to the muscled curve of Ushijima’s shoulders. Ushijima’s arm is hooked around his waist, and he uses it to crush the body in his arms to his chest, feeling the warmth of his skin bleed into Tendou’s cold skin. 

As usual, the chilliness of Tendou’s body soothes the fire under his skin, and it is evidently clear that Tendou feels that same evening out of their body temperatures. He buries his face into Ushijima’s chest, inhaling deeply every few minutes the scent of peppermint and cozy warmth that makes him want to stay in this position for the rest of his life. 

His hair is a mess, and it probably tickles to have it under Ushijima’s chin like that, but he’s content to leave it be. The hotness of Ushijima’s skin burns him as strongly as always when they’re touching, but it’s a nice kind of burn, one that he will cherish for as long as he humanely can. 

Thoughts of the future don’t come to the both of them just yet as they revel in each other’s presence, sleepy but satisfied. 

It isn’t until the sun starts to set that Tendou raises his head from its place next to Ushijima’s heart to check the time. He pats Ushijima on his bicep, curling his fingers around the hard muscle there slyly as he nudges with his chin. “Toshi, wake up.” 

Ushijima groans into his ear, and the sound gives him the chills. “Tendou?” his voice comes rasping out, groggy and deep and sexy. Tendou giggles. “Wanna get up?” 

Ushijima shifts so that he can look down at him. He gives him a mildly questioning look. “Get up and go where?” He squeezes Tendou with purpose, telling him that he’s absolutely fine with staying in bed curled up with him. 

Tendou shoots him a smile, and it makes Ushijima’s heart stutter a beat. How can he refuse when Tendou is looking at him like that? He’s already decided to agree even before Tendou opens his mouth again. 

“Why don’t we go out for a walk?” he suggests, his scarlet eyes bright and gleaming like jewels under the glow of the setting sun. Ushijima sits up, his hand slipping down to hold onto Tendou’s wrist. “If you would like to.” 

A small cheer escapes from Tendou, and Ushijima reluctantly lets go of Tendou’s arm to allow him to stand and change. He strips in front of him like he doesn’t care that Ushijima is looking at him, with fire in his gaze and molten lava in his veins. 

His skin tingles as he feels that intense stare sweep over the entirety of him, his upper body bare and pale and the marks from the last time barely fading. They’re purple and black and blue in areas, pinkish and red in others, no doubt from the excessive experimenting by their inexperienced selves. 

It looks painful to Ushijima, whose gaze dissolves into one of concern as he walks over to brush a gentle hand over one of the larger ones. He can see the marks his teeth had made - they don't look like they'll disappear anytime soon. Tendou shivers at his touch, and ghostly pain floods his senses. 

The bruises had been...rough on the mechanisms of his body, to say the least, those marks that staked Ushijima’s claim on him, on his existence - he would willingly admit it was true were he asked. 

In the corners of his eyes, he sees Ushijima place a warm hand on his shoulder, where the blues and purples fade into milk white and begin again at the crook of his neck. 

_We might have overdone it a bit this time._

It’s not a surprise to him, he’s long since gotten used to the idea that Ushijima can’t really control some of his immense strength. But it does hurt a tad bit, so when Ushijima massages apologetic fingers into the blades of his shoulders he sighs, his muscles relaxing. 

He allows it to continue for another few minutes, before he turns around and grabs the fingers in his own hands and says, “It’s alright, Toshi. I’m fine.” Ushijima looks saddened by his admission. “I’m sorry, I will be more careful next time.” 

Tendou smirks at him, playful, free of tension. “Next time, huh? We’ll see.” 

“...It would be more bearable if you were not in pain, would it not?” he asks sincerely. 

However much he wants to mark up and paint that expanse of skin with his own colours, he can never bring himself to harm the person in front of him. Never. 

The knowledge that he is inexperienced only makes it harder for him to stomach the fact that he lacks control. He’s never lacked something like control in volleyball. In volleyball, it is as easy to keep his strength in check as it is to take a shower. But Tendou removes the ease and replaces it with a challenging feat. 

“Hey, Toshi. Hey, look at me.” Tendou releases his hands and brings them to his face, cupping gently. “I’m perfectly fine, you’re not hurting me in any way, got it? They’re nothing I can’t handle." He smoothes a thumb over Ushijima's cheekbones, liking the way he melts into his touch. "I like them, and I like the fact that you’re the one who’s making them.” 

Ushijima stares at him wordlessly, taking in his firm but smiling eyes and honest, open expression. 

“Alright...” he eventually says, his eyes trailing back down to the naked torso that’s on display. It’s littered with various messy prints of his large hands, dark pink and indicating more pain. He resolves to not look at them until later, when they are back from their walk and he can maybe help a little by offering another massage. “You should cover yourself up quickly, it is cold outside.” 

Tendou wrinkles his nose and immediately distances himself to rummage in Ushijima’s closet for more clothes. 

He pulls on another one of Ushijima’s sweaters, this one is ice blue and plain, and it makes the red of his hair stand out spectacularly. “Woah, it smells nice!”

Ushijima watches with fascination as Tendou yanks another sweater over his head with a large grin, before snatching up his volleyball jacket and putting it on over the other two layers already on him. His legs are less bundled up, and socks and shoes go on with startlingly more care. 

He stands up and twirls around to meet Ushijima’s soft smile with a wide beam of his own. “Let’s go, Toshi!” 

Ushijima complies wholeheartedly, and his concentrated eyes fixate on the cute way the three layers of clothing swallow up Tendou’s already slim frame. He rushes to pull on clean clothes, and then they’re out of the door, hand-in-hand. 

They walk out of the school grounds, managing not to bump into any of their mutual friends. Tendou chatters away to Ushijima, the sound of his cheerful voice filling the comfortable silence between them as he leads them to seemingly random places. 

The park nearby, under the sakura trees that are currently blossom-less and into the bookstore where Ushijima had realised his feelings for Tendou. He looks back at it fondly as they exit the store, thinking back to the time when they had almost caused the bookshelf to topple over in their haste to recover from a fall. 

Their footsteps echo hollowly on the pavement, and the streets are practically empty of people. The freezing winter winds have rendered the bustling town streets almost lifeless, and they are some of the few people who have braved the icy torments of the cold. 

The frigid air surrounds them like thick fog, sharp and chilling. Its unforgiving chill settles deep in their bones, but the heat of their joined hands melts it away to become a soothing numbness. 

In all its glory, winter descends upon them harshly, trying to force them back into the warm safety of nearby buildings. But they ignore the cold and the pressure that would have normally lured them back to school, too enraptured by each other’s smiles to care about how their fingers are starting to freeze up in their gloves or how their heads are now dusted with the tiny snowflakes that keep falling from above. 

Ushijima flexes his free hand, trying to get some of the feeling back in them as he moves closer to Tendou. 

The cars speed by on the road, and he frowns and changes position with Tendou so that he’s shielding him from the road. A moment later, wet snow is sprayed all over the place by a passing vehicle. 

Tendou gives him an appreciative look after a pause in his speaking, rubbing his un-held hand on his thighs to warm them up. 

Ushijima continues to listen and interjects when Tendou says something he has to comment about, but mostly just watches him as he turns back to Ushijima, an exhilarated gleam in his eyes that spells carefree. 

And, like so many months before this, the setting sun illuminates his boyfriend - he’s amazed that he gets to call him that now - in a halo of golden and warm yellows, and his carmine hair looks like live fire dancing in the fading light. The swaths of purple and pink reflected by the clouds paint him in vivid colours of summer, and are all the more contrasted by the stark white of their surroundings. 

The snow is untouched, pure and clean in areas and trampled on, dirty and gloomy-looking in others, and it’s whiteness gives the impression that the clouds have come floating down to earth’s surface and glued themselves to the ground. 

It is a magnificent sight. Ushijima takes it all in like he’s admiring an abstract painting that’s kept in an art museum, because he finds himself stunned by the depth of beauty in the picture in front of him. 

If he has to name one thing that comes to mind at the dazzling sight before him… 

Tendou seems to read his mind. He gives him a crooked smile, one side of his mouth sliding up higher than the other as he steps closer and squeezes his hand tightly. Their shoulders brush momentarily. 

“What’s gotcha so silent?” he asks, his flaming hair licking the sides of his narrow face as he tilts his head to look at him. Ushijima can’t resist reaching up to sweep his long bangs out of the way for him, and it takes Tendou by surprise. 

He recovers quickly, fairly used to the affectionate actions that Ushijima reserves solely for him, but a soft blush covers the apples of his cheeks. “Do you wanna go back?” Ushijima shakes his head, his breath coming out slowly as he stops them in the middle of the street. “Not really.” he admits. 

He takes Tendou’s free hand in his own and glances around to check if there is anyone around that would mind the obstruction. There isn’t. 

So he tugs on the gloved hands, relishing in the look of anticipation that he sees when he goes and pulls Tendou in for a hug. 

Ushijima’s arms go around his waist, and Tendou maneuvers his own arms over his broad back to return the gesture. 

There is warmth radiating from Ushijima’s chest, and Tendou closes his eyes to enjoy the calm, tranquil silence around them. For once, he’s not inclined to speak to fill in the quietness of the atmosphere, and he’s glad that they are somewhat alone even when they’re in one of the more popular shopping districts in their town. 

They stay like that for a while, and when the wind roars stronger and threatens to rip them apart, they clutch onto each other tighter, like two mutual lifelines in a vast ocean of loneliness. 

Ushijima buries his face into Tendou’s scarf, feeling his nose brush against the crook of his neck as he burrows deep into the soft material. Tendou kisses the bottom of his jaw lightly, feather-like touches causing a knot to form in Ushijima’s chest. It’s not uncomfortable, but it doesn’t unravel itself. 

He pushes it to the side for now, resisting the urge to open his mouth and say something, because he doesn’t know what will come tumbling out if he does. 

He parts from Tendou with great difficulty, noting the redness to his cheeks and nose and how he seems to be shivering a little even under all his clothes. 

Tenderly, he tugs them in the direction of their school, which isn’t far away from where they are. “Let’s go.” 

Tendou follows him this time, not a single complaint on his lips as he allows himself to be led back to the warmth, back to their routined lives. 

They leave the unyielding snow and the hostile cold behind without looking back, and their unspoken sentiments dissipate into thin air, gone with the ever-changing nature of the winds. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You made it to the end yay!! As always, kudos and comments are very welcome here, (oh no, I insist)HAHAHAH!!! Please do let me know which parts you like or which parts you thought were cute or relatable/memorable to you!! I've got a couple of scenes in this that make me squeal on the inside uwu!! 
> 
> Come find me on Instagram @bts_ateez._.suju if you wanna talk to me or make a new friend OR scream in excitement about our Haikyuu boys with me!! See y'all soon!!!


	9. A Flower For You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I CANNOT believe that I'm near the end of this rollercoaster journey of my precious boys, I think I might cry. Here's to another chapter of surprise, because I bet all of y'all didn't expect this HA! 
> 
> Everyone, I present to you all Ushijima Wakatoshi being soft (and hard) for Tendou. See if you can catch any relation to chapter 8:))) Hope you all enjoy this update!!
> 
> P.S. I apologise for the later update today, I read this through, like, three times to make sure it was perfect haha!!

Tendou has been called many things in his short life so far. 

Monster, freak, creepy, and worse terms that a child should never have to hear directed at them at such a young age. 

It didn’t help that his parents weren’t the most caring people on earth, and all his complaints and whinings had been treated as weakness. 

They blamed him for the other boys’ teasing, and even told him to fend for himself if he wanted to prove that he was their son. Any child of theirs would not be allowed to succumb to such meager obstructions in life - a philosophy that was supposed to help him grow to become a strong-minded individual. 

But their indifference only gave way to hurt, and the young him had suffered terrible trauma from the taunts and jabs shoved at him. 

Bullying had been a common occurrence in his elementary and middle school days, and it was only when he enrolled in Shiratorizawa Academy did he become hardened against those words and mocking gazes that plagued his dreams. 

So when his boyfriend, the unintentionally sappiest, sweetest and most amazing person he's ever met, shows up outside his dorm room in the evening one night with a flower in his hand, he is understandably stunned. 

“Uh, Toshi, what is this?” he blinks three times in quick succession at the single stalk in Ushijima’s hand, pushed out towards him with purpose. 

Ushijima’s mouth twitches at the corner after seeing his dumbfounded expression. “It is a flower.” Tendou laughs, albeit rather soft and unsurely. “I know it’s a flower, Toshi. But...why?” 

At his curious question, a faint blush rises on Ushijima’s cheeks. Tendou swoons internally. It's his first time seeing such a colour on Ushijima's face.

“It’s for you.” he replies, his voice mellow and low - lovely.

His eyes fix onto Tendou’s face, and his gentle, loving gaze makes a ball rise in the back of Tendou’s throat. 

A student walks by with a questioning glance at them, and Tendou realises it’s probably not a good idea to have this conversation right in the middle of his doorway where anyone walking past can just eavesdrop. 

He tugs on Ushijima’s sturdy forearm and leads him inside with a small, shy smile. “For me?” he asks, having recovered somewhat from the initial shock. 

He didn’t think that Ushijima was this kind of lover. He’s not complaining, though. If anything, it makes him fall a little harder for the man before him, who’s equal parts brilliant and wonderful. He makes him feel like bawling his eyes out sometimes. 

Ushijima nods as they sit themselves down on Tendou’s bed, and he once more extends his arm to give him the flower. “It is a red chrysanthemum.” 

Tendou takes the flower from him, examining with sparkling eyes the bright red petals which colours look so much like his own fiery tresses. 

It is a beautiful flower, with a wide, perfectly symmetrical roundish shape formed by thin, longish satin petals that shine under the lights of the room. The stalk is free of any thorns that might have been present, and the earthy scent emitted from it is cozy and strong. It looks very much like a romantic gift. 

“Does it symbolise anything special?” Tendou sniffs at the flower, knowing that Ushijima is quite knowledgeable about plants and flora. 

He doesn’t miss the slight nervous tick of his jaw, and raises an eyebrow at the tiny movement. _Toshi only gets nervous when he has something to say but doesn’t know how to._

It is evident that Ushijima wants to say something, but he stops himself before he can blurt it out. It feels strange to just lay it out in the open so soon, especially after they’ve only been together for such a short period of time. 

But the future waits for no one, and when thoughts about how they’re going to be separated after graduation cross his mind, Ushijima makes up his mind to create the opportunity for him to let Tendou know what he’s feeling. 

So instead of answering, he takes the chrysanthemum from him - he finds he has to pry it away from Tendou’s reluctant hands, and it makes him happy knowing that Tendou likes it so much. 

He stands and goes to place it on Tendou’s desk, carefully laying it down where it’s scent can still waft across the room and fill it with the smell of a warm home. 

Tendou watches him with intrigued eyes, their deep red colour drawing Ushijima’s attention to them every few seconds. 

The moment he returns to the bed, he collapses on top of Tendou unceremoniously. With a surprised _oof_ , Tendou’s back meets the mattress and he laughs out loud. When Ushijima is tired he often falls asleep after insisting that Tendou lay with him, it's become sort of a habit to fall asleep in Ushijima's arms. 

He realises that isn’t the case today when he feels a gentle kiss on the side of his neck, which is quickly followed by more tiny pecks on his skin. He shivers a little when teeth scrape against his collarbone. 

“I see, so this is what you wanted, Toshi. I didn’t know you were in the mood. You should have just told me.” he teases lightly, putting both hands on Ushijima’s shoulders as he lets out a sigh from the soft kisses on his neck. 

Ushijima rumbles something at him, but he doesn’t catch it because it’s muffled by his skin. It sounds suspiciously like, “There is no need for words.” 

He chuckles, but welcomes the affection lavished onto him with delight. It is uncommon for Ushijima to initiate anything so insistently, but he’ll take whatever he gets. 

Ushijima lets his mouth do the exploring for him, and he finds that no matter how many times they’ve slept together, there is always something new to discover about this body that submits to him so willingly. 

It sends a pleased thrill through him to know that Tendou lets him do this without so much of a complaint, and he vows not to shatter the trust that’s been handed to him on a platter so bravely. 

“Tendou...” he says into chilled, marble-like skin, and relishes in the small hitch in breath he gets when he nips at the junction between neck and shoulder. 

The weather outside is cold beyond comparison, but the heat rising in the room is more than enough to ensure that the both of them won’t be bothered by a lack of clothes. 

Ushijima tugs on the fabric of Tendou’s sweater and pulls it up and over his head in one swift movement. He studies the flushed cheeks, messy hair and glazed look in dark red eyes. His pants tighten in response. 

Tendou smirks at him, even though he’s obviously as equally aroused as Ushijima is. “Looks like someone's excited. Need some help, Toshi?” 

The nickname. Ushijima thinks it’s the nickname, said with so much gleeful emphasis and emotion that it renders him breathless, that is the tipping point. 

He yanks on Tendou’s sweatpants, eager for them to come off so that he can get his hands (and mouth) on the pale legs underneath. He leaves his underwear on, but ignores it completely even when he sees the prominent bulge. 

He climbs off Tendou’s bed and sinks to his knees on the ground, startling the redhead. “Toshi-geh!” Tendou yelps a little when he feels Ushijima grab his ankles and pull, until his legs are dangling over the edge of the bed and he’s more sitting than lying down. 

“What’re you doing?” he asks nervously. The determined glint in Ushijima’s eyes makes him feel small, like he’s a tiny gazelle standing before a hungry lion. 

Ushijima reassures him with a soft swipe of his thumbs on the tops of his thighs. “Relax.” he growls, his voice throaty. Tendou blinks at the dark tone in his voice, and then he shrugs and lies back down on his back. 

The words hang in the air even though he doesn’t say them. _I trust you._

It causes that knot in Ushijima’s chest to tighten even more. In truth, it’s been there ever since they’d gone out for that walk in the freezing snowy weather, and he knows it will only be dissolved when he’s said what he wants to say. 

Without waiting for anymore confirmation, Ushijima returns back to the task at hand. He hasn’t done this before, but if he knows anything, it is that he can only learn and improve. 

Slowly, he reaches for the waistband of Tendou’s boxers, pulling it down slim legs and freeing him from it’s confines. Tendou’s back goes rigid when he figures out what Ushijima is trying to do, and as he lurches upright to check, he only manages to catch a glimpse of Ushijima’s mouth sinking down on him before he collapses back down onto his bed. 

A gasp is wrenched from his throat when he feels the hot mouth swallow him down, careful, tentative, and he closes his eyes tightly when a hand joins it and curls around his base. 

Ushijima squeezes, and it draws a choked sound from above him. Experimentally, he hollows out his cheeks and sucks, and is rewarded with another groan. His wet tongue runs a slow path, tracing tiny circles into warm, slick skin as he forces his jaw to open wider. 

He can feel the tremors wracking the calf that one of his hands has a tight grip on, that are slowly becoming more prominent as he continues his ministrations. 

He goes down as much as his throat allows, grimacing when he feels his gag reflex kick in. He fights and silences it, barreling ahead without a backward glance as he rakes his hands down the sides of the thighs bracketing his head. 

It pulls a stifled moan from Tendou, who turns his head and buries it into a nearby pillow to muffle his voice. It’s late, and they don’t need people coming to bang on the door to tell them to shut up - if they are even brave enough to disturb in the first place. 

Still, the thought of their dorm neighbours listening to them both go at it the whole night isn’t a very nice one, so it is rather wise for an overly sensitive Tendou to swallow down his need to voice his pleasure. 

Ushijima prods at his slit with a flick of his tongue, eliciting a violent shudder from the spasming body he craves to drown himself in. He pulls off before Tendou can come but keeps his hand fisted around the base, his lips glistening with a mixture of spit and precum. 

A whine from the bed catches his attention, urging him to pry apart Tendou’s trembling thighs and wrap both hands around his cock. He gives slow, long strokes downwards, lifting it up to lick at the underside, which causes Tendou’s hips to buck one or twice. 

“Toshi-” he urges, his breathing quickening. Ushijima increases his speed when he hears the telltale breaks in gasping breaths, his eyes hooded and dark as he works his hands meticulously, not giving Tendou any chance to rest as he attempts to milk him dry. 

Tendou’s hand comes up to touch the top of Ushijima’s head, and he nudges the hand encouragingly. _Go on._

Tangling his long fingers into Ushijima’s hair, Tendou tugs harshly when he feels his hips stutter in rhythm on their own. They're no longer under the control of his brain. He lets slip a moan when a thumb swirls around his tip and the other hand clenches tightly and pulls from the base. 

He comes with Ushijima's name on his lips - a soft cry - and his vision becomes studded with spots. Panting as he releases his grip on fluffy olive-brown hair, he keeps his eyes closed even when he hears shuffling and the sound of tissues being used to clean up the mess. 

When he feels a warm hand spread his legs apart again, he gets up on his elbows. “Toshi, I need-” he trails off abruptly when he sees the lustful intention swirling in Ushijima’s eyes - something inky black and ravenous. And he knows in that instant that he doesn’t have to voice what he wants. Ushijima will give it to him in no time at all.

He swallows the lump in his throat, feeling a stinging sensation in the corners of his eyes, but he blinks it away and nods at Ushijima. It definitely isn’t as bad as the first time, but even after the numerous times their bodies had entwined, it still takes some getting used to. The feeling of gel-coated fingers inside him and pushing in deeper makes him flop back down, his elbows weak. 

The feel of his body slowly yielding to the euphoria doesn’t stop him from making teasing comments, though, and he knows he probably shouldn’t provoke an already hungry beast, but he can’t resist wanting to poke a little and see what reaction it will evoke. “H-Hey, Toshi?” 

Ushijima hums in response, still concentrating on his task as he slides in another slick finger - it’s cold. He's careful to avoid the one area for now. 

Tendou grits his teeth at the barely-there brushes against his prostate, and it makes him all the more adamant to break the perfectly poised composure of this man who’s going to take him on his bed soon. He wants to feel _everything_.

He shudders unconsciously at the thought of the possible consequences. _Well, the worst case scenario would be that I collapse from exhaustion._

He ignores the part of him that tells him his decision isn’t wise. Cheekily, with an impish grin on his face (he tries his best to make sure it stays playful), he says, “You were holding back that time, weren’t you?” Ushijima glances over, his eyebrows raising quizzically. He doesn’t stop. In fact, he adds in another finger, bringing the total tally up to three. 

He skirts around the place where he knows Tendou is aching for him to touch almost teasingly. “Perhaps.” he answers with a wicked smile. 

_Tease,_ Tendou thinks - a horribly efficient one at that.

Tendou stiffens when all three fingers spread wide and one comes dangerously close. “Fuck, Toshi. That's cheating!” he curses, grinding down onto Ushijima’s hand, frustrated. 

Ushijima grins at him from below as he slowly maneuvers them both back on the bed properly. “In what way?” he asks, sincere in every aspect except for the fact that his hand slows down minutely. 

Tendou throws an arm over Ushijima’s back when he crawls back up to him. He gives a gentle slap to convey his agitation. “Come on, Toshi. I’m- fine!” he hurries impatiently, desperate to have Ushijima inside him already. He’s in the mood to be ruined today. “I- want you.” 

Ushijima’s eyes shake in place, and he drags his own clothes off in under seconds. If Tendou wants so, it will take nothing less than certain death for him to refuse.

He positions himself mere moments later when he’s done tearing through the thin foil he snatches up from Tendou’s bedside table. 

Tendou’s eyelids flutter open to meet his when he feels the familiar weight settle on top of him, with their chests barely touching and their hips struggling to keep still. He winds his arms around Ushijima’s neck and yanks him down for a heavy kiss, his mouth opening to let in his tongue. 

They’ve done this enough times since they first started dating to get the hang of it. No more clacking of teeth or accidental nose collisions, just sweet and simple harmony, like the gears in a clock that have been oiled to perfection. 

Ushijima lets his tongue roam, not confining it to his own mouth as he runs greedy hands over the lines of Tendou’s stomach. He drags slow fingers down jutting hip bones and back up to his torso, where he presses a little harder into ice-cold skin. 

Tendou’s spine curves as he arches up into the firm touch. He tears his lips away with effort, rasping out in a hoarse, husky voice, “Want you. Inside me.” He tightens his hold in Ushijima's hair. " _Now_."

His demand is obeyed, and it doesn’t take long for Ushijima to push into him and completely slip through his entrance, until he’s completely sheathed in slick walls and gently pulsing heat. Pleasure erupts at the tips of his fingers and toes and makes its way up into the central parts of his body, deliciously hot. He flexes his hands.

He allows only a few seconds of adjustment before he’s moving, slow but precise, with the intensity of a laser beam. And yet, he treats Tendou like a fragile flower that will wilt if he gives it too much water, only going in at a snail's pace and pulling half-way back after bottoming out. But the flower doesn’t stay still and merely take. It wants more, _he_ wants more. 

Tendou lets this be known by wrapping his spindly legs around the thick, muscular torso above him, dragging him down in a sudden burst of strength and whimpering pathetically when he feels his insides rippling in response. The previous constant, rotating circles coupled with the occasional deep thrusts are hardly enough to satisfy him, and his hunger to be completely and absolutely full, is far from satiated.

He gasps into Ushijima’s ear, wanting to speak but finding it far too big of a job when all he can do is whine and ask for more; more bruising kisses, more fervent touches, more of Ushijima. “Wakatoshi-” he manages to get out before the rest of his sentence is lost in another round of unintelligible sounds. Ushijima’s hips meet his ass with decidedly more forceful movements as compared to before.

Ushijima digs arms under his back and hoists him up suddenly so that he’s sitting with Tendou in his lap. He gives a hard snap of his hips upwards that jostles the person in his arms so badly that he has to grip on tight to the narrow waist he’s already holding to make sure he doesn’t slide off his lap. 

“Sorry, are you alright?” he gives Tendou an apologetic kiss on his cheek and stops moving altogether. Tendou squirms in his arms, his expression needy and filled with unbidden lust. His red eyes are narrowed, glassy with unshed tears - _sexy, inviting_. 

His lips are bitten raw from muffling some of the louder sounds he was making. Ushijima stares at the pink tinge to his mouth a little darkly, the hard ball of emotions in his chest stretching painfully. He wants to say it. 

Tendou beats him to it by interrupting with a huff. “Toshi, I’m not going to break, you know.” 

Ushijima purses his lips stubbornly, not wishing to delve further into this line of thought, it would only be disadvantageous to someone with as slight a build as Tendou. “But I am afraid you will not be able to handle it.” 

Tendou knows he won’t be getting what he wants so easily, and he stares back unblinkingly while trying to figure out how to push his boyfriend’s buttons. A smirk curls itself into his face when a vague idea comes to mind, and he consciously rolls his hips once to test his theory out. Heat shoots up his spine at once and he feels Ushijima tense underneath him. His insides tremble with anticipation. 

It also earns him a soft grunt from Ushijima, whose eyes sharpen into pinpoints of pure steel at his triumphant simper. “Don’t tempt me, Tendou.” he warns, deliberate caution in his voice. 

_It's working._

Tendou ignores him and bends down to whisper into his ear. “I never asked you to be gentle.” Ushijima stiffens noticeably at the sensual texture to his voice, and his arms and legs quiver as he tries to force them back into submission. 

His restraint is hanging on by a preposterously thin thread. He had been sure he wouldn’t last long at all from all the foreplay they had done. And yet, the smooth, silky voice that assaults his ears with all the piercing accuracy of a spear catches him off guard, and his chest heaves with the effort of holding back when a sudden carnal urge to devour, to viciously wreck the wild beauty in front of him comes propelling its way up into his limbs. 

In the boundaries of modern society, a feral creature set loose has to be tamed so that accidents can be prevented. Tendou is the equivalent of such a creature capable of similar destruction - of Ushijima's heart. From the way Tendou is fanning the flames of his desire with his uncontrollable seduction, Ushijima needs to subdue this attack before he completely loses it. 

Ushijima’s jaw clenches and, of course, it doesn’t slip past Tendou’s observant eyes. Even though he’s technically the one at a disadvantage being up against a normally impenetrable wall, his sardonic nature rears its head as he continues to poke at the mouth of a slumbering dragon. 

He trails one finger across Ushijima’s jaw, tracing the fine, sharp line just barely as he gives his most imploring look. 

He will admit he’s always been quite good at getting people to take pity on him, a skill learnt from the days when he was still tormented by amatuer bullies and had to resort to pleading to get them to leave him alone. He has confidence that it will not disappoint him now. 

He knows how irresolute Ushijima is to his requests, or at least, to some extent. The man has iron-clad control under his belt for most other aspects of his life, and it is most likely only because it is Tendou who is asking that makes him so pliable to his demands. 

Tendou would never take advantage of the faith and conviction-to-please that Ushijima has for him, but that doesn’t mean he can’t use everything he has in his arsenal to get his way when they’re having sex… 

He makes sure to stare straight into those dark, amorous eyes that always suck him in, and allows his tongue to dart out and wet his lips. He watches as those same eyes follow his tiny movement with its intense, unblinking gaze. 

The air between them charges with almost palpable static, and Tendou figures that he only needs one last push to successfully liquify Ushijima’s control into thin air. 

With bated breaths, both of them wait out the other, waiting for the moment when the balance of power will tip and reveal another side to each other. 

A war brews in the back of Ushijima’s mind. On one hand, he would very much like to fuck his boyfriend into oblivion, until he’s delirious from the pleasure and the only thing he knows is how Ushijima feels nestled inside him snugly, and said boyfriend is doing an exceptional job of provoking him. 

He can feel himself twitch from impatience, and his muscles are all wound up tight, ready to explode with pent up energy. However, one look at the multiple faded bruises on Tendou’s skin - scattered all over the expanse of his body; chest, hips, and neck included - and he swallows down his desire with great effort. 

_It pains me to see you hurt._

The scale is turned upside down in under seconds when Tendou, all 187.7 centimetres of pale skin and wild appeal, purrs out of the blue with a stroke to his shoulder blades. “Toshi, I want you to _ravage_ me. _Please?_ ” 

Tendou knows he hadn’t imagined the slight widening of Ushijima’s eyes or the tightening of his thigh muscles beneath him. 

He is prepared to give everything he can offer, and he wants Ushijima to be able to do the same. Their relationship has to go two ways, otherwise, Ushijima’s bottled-up feelings are never going to see the light of day. 

The recent romantic gestures from his usually stone-faced boyfriend haven't escaped his notice, and knowing Ushijima, he has something he can’t or finds it hard to tell him. After all, actions speak louder than words, and actions are always Ushijima’s go to solution for problems he can’t solve himself. 

_I want you to give me everything you have,_ his eyes say, sincere and borderline hypnotic. It feels intimate on a different level, giving all of himself in exchange for another’s total trust in him; full reliance and nothing less.

It’s simple, really. He gives himself to Ushijima, and Ushijima in turn can give him all that he wants to. If it comes in the form of unbridled passion, he has nothing to lose from accepting it. 

Ushijima’s gaze wavers and his composure breaks. For now, he lets go of his worries and allows himself to be selfish just this once. 

In one swift movement, he rolls them over so that Tendou is underneath him again. Then he grabs both of the legs that are locked around his waist, wrenches them apart and throws them over his shoulders.

His eyes burn from intensity and his skin lowers in temperature immediately. Tendou winces internally at the near scalding sensation on his skin; it’s everywhere they’re touching, be it their arms, their hips or even his insides. 

He shudders when he feels Ushijima shift and lift his hips up to shove a pillow under them for support. “Forgive me.” is all Ushijima says before he begins his counterattack. 

If before, their pace was unhurried and steady, it is now fueled with a sense of urgency that makes it faster, harder and more erratic. It’s rough, and Tendou decides that he loves every second of it. 

He savours the deep moans that float into his ears occasionally and the feeling of being well and truly stuffed. He’s almost bent into half when Ushijima increases his speed and drives back into him with a ferocity that matches his most powerful spikes during a game. 

His arm muscles strain to hold his heavy body up, and his shoulders shake with a fierce vengeance. He’ll feel the ache tomorrow, but all he can focus on at the moment is the way Tendou is clinging to him like he’s his only lifeline and the way that his red eyes roll back into his skull when he gives a particularly deep thrust. Liquid fire runs its course throughout his veins, bringing with it a fierce desire to destroy, to _possess_.

Tendou almost sobs when Ushijima hits his prostate. " _Toshi-!_ " His voice is tangled with a web of other syllables and phrases. Ushijima lets out a strangled groan at the sound. When he leans down on quivering arms to kiss the soul out of his overwhelmed boyfriend, Tendou lets him and gladly loses himself in a haze of all-consuming sensations. 

The kiss is so tender, so gentle that he feels his emotions start to run amok in his chest; a single tear is squeezed out from the corner of one eye, and it is all that represents the raging storm in his cloudy mind. 

Drool leaks from their sloppy mouths, but they take no notice. Every moment is cherished, every sound is appreciated to the fullest, and every quake of the body is seared into their minds. 

Ushijima swallows down Tendou’s obscene moan when he adjusts his hips and hits home from a new angle. Tendou can do nothing but take the intimacy heaped upon him, but _god_ , he needs to touch himself. He thinks he’ll implode if they continue without giving him more stimulation. 

He wants to- He needs to- 

Ushijima pins his arms with a warning growl, his hands tight around Tendou's wrists. _None of that._ His responding ram sends sparks bursting behind Tendou’s half-shut eyelids. 

He takes to begging then, but the result is nothing more than a broken stream of slurs that are almost incomprehensible. Long arms fold themselves even tighter around powerful shoulders, and the hands attached to those arms squeeze with surprising strength around his contracting biceps in a silent, desperate plea. “Toshi- I- _Fuck_ \- I need- _Please_ -” 

No matter how much Tendou tries to articulate his thoughts, he can’t seem to do it well enough to understand when Ushijima is thrusting into him with enough determination to make him feel slightly faint. His vision swims when a nip is delivered to his bottom lip, but the sting clears a bit of the haze in his fuzzy head. 

“Tendou...” The low snarl next to his ear gives him the chills, and the way his name rolls off Ushijima’s mouth, in his magnetically irresistible voice, is enough to make him come. But he doesn’t, and the pressure in his abdomen is now almost unbearable; a rubber string coiled so tight that it’s very nearly on the verge of breaking, but not yet. 

If anything, Ushijima slows down his pace as if he knows that they won’t last much longer but wants to prolong the sensations that they’re both feeling. Tendou’s needy whine of complaint doesn’t sway him. 

By this time, the heat under their skins has reached an all time high, and the burning, feverish feeling is near painful. The knot in Ushijima’s chest threatens to burst into a ball of flames, but the words he had been nursing all night still refuse to be said. 

But they can’t stay like this forever, and it’s obvious from the way Tendou’s voice climbs higher and higher in both pitch and volume that he’s close to the edge. Ushijima barely silences them by smothering his lips with his own, and he gratefully welcomes the savage scratch of nails down his back. 

“Toshi- I’m going- I’m-” Tendou garbles at him when they break apart for air, the sound fractured and so utterly vulnerable that it yanks Ushijima over and down into the chasm of his climax in one swift motion. He reaches one hand down between them, grasps onto Tendou's leaking cock and gives a firm, hard stroke. 

“Then come.” The guttural words leave his mouth as Ushijima leans back down to kiss him again, fiery, hot and passionate. He pours his feelings into it, until his ears are ringing from the lack of air and his mind goes blank from the toe-curling pleasure. 

His orgasm crashes over him, spreading at an alarming speed throughout his body. It spills into his features eventually, twisting them into something primitive, with devastating clarity. Tendou thinks his life flashes before his eyes for a second. 

They freefall together, their heads empty of coherent thoughts and their bodies instinctively clutching onto each other, trying to get closer, closer and even closer. 

Tendou’s hair-raising wail cuts through Ushijima’s resonant, trembling moan, and he feels the tight feeling in his lower stomach snap and release the tension. Their climax washes over them like a wave, smooth but with a fury that aims to destroy what remains of their consciousness. 

Ushijima regains his awareness first, and this time he can’t really help it when his elbows give out and he slumps on top of his lanky boyfriend. The pained whimper that it draws from Tendou’s mouth causes him to panic, and he hastily tries to lift himself up again. 

A shaky arm stops his attempts, and he looks down to check whether Tendou is alright. He’s more than alright, though, because Ushijima sees wide, dazed eyes, a violently heaving chest and kiss-swollen lips that look just as delectable as they had an hour ago. 

“Don’t.” Tendou says, his breath short and his mouth closing into a straight line. He struggles to catch his breath. “Just- Let’s stay like this for a moment.” 

Ushijima nods, an apology already on the tip of his tongue when he sees how exhausted Tendou is. Shame bubbles up in his chest and consumes the tight feeling there, drenching it in his remorse. “Tendou-” 

Tendou shakes his head, having appeared to have read his mind. “No apologising. I wanted this. Not your fault.” A crooked grin takes over the tired expression on his face, and Ushijima feels his breath catch at the sight. 

Tendou looks absolutely drained of energy, but his skin is flushed and pink - healthy - and his eyes are alight with mirth. Even taking into account the fact that he’s just been fucked to heaven and back, he’s stunning, and the rejuvenated glow to his whole being quells the worry in Ushijima’s heart. 

“At least you made me feel good.” Tendou adds with a sly drag of fingers down Ushijima’s cheek. He giggles at his own statement.

If Tendou is comparable to an angel that’s descended from heaven, Ushijima looks like he’s been given the best birthday present in his life as his dark eyes fill with adoration and so much softness that Tendou wants to be lost in them forever. 

His usual stony and serious face is replaced by an exhilarated and smiling expression. He doesn’t stop there, however, and now that they’re both content and happy, he feels like it's finally time to do it. His opportunity has come.

He shifts his elbows so that he’s putting more weight on his upper arms than on Tendou. “It means I Love You,” he suddenly says, his voice quiet. “It also reminds me of you.”

Tendou stares at him, baffled. Shocked.

 _It seems that he is not following._ Ushijima glances towards his study table, his expression expectant, almost hopeful. Tendou follows his gaze, and realises with a start that he’s talking about the question he’d asked earlier. 

_“Does it symbolise anything special?”_

His eyes water when he puts two and two together. “You’ve wanted to tell me that since that day, right?” he chokes out from behind tears, touched and in awe of the sweet gesture. Ushijima is the epitome of thoughtfulness. Nobody can tell him otherwise, or they’ll have a fight on their hands.

The man himself looks surprised, as if he hadn’t expected Tendou to guess what was on his mind recently. Quickly, he goes to wipe away the small droplets that are collecting in the corners of Tendou’s eyes. 

He does admit he has been having trouble trying to convey his feelings, but he never realised that it was so obvious to Tendou. He looks impressed. “Yes.” he hesitates only a second before explaining further, slow and to the point. 

“I realised something important that day. ...I wanted to let you know that I love you.” His voice trembles a little on the last three words, and apprehension clouds his thoughts suddenly. 

He doesn’t expect Tendou to return the words so soon, and it’s always hard to be the first one to admit it, he knows. The only thing he can do is wait patiently for an answer. Even if he has to wait ten, twenty years, or even his whole life, he will.

He takes to memorising every small detail of Tendou’s face as time passes. 

The cute slant of his nose, the slight but permanent upturn of his lips and the large, round eyes that hold a depth and intelligence that he considers precious. To him, Tendou is irreplaceable. 

Tendou knows it must have taken a lot of courage on his part to say the words out loud. Ushijima is not an expressive person by nature, but the fact that he had still tried so hard makes Tendou’s eyes leak tears again. 

“I love you too, Toshi.” he whispers, his voice thick with emotion. He’s afraid that he will shatter the blissful atmosphere if he speaks too loudly. 

Ushijima’s dark eyes light up, and his mouth curves into a small smile; a big accomplishment on his part. And then _finally_ , the knot in his chest unravels. It turns into mush, into relief when he gets the words off of his chest. A weight that had been worth carrying, since he gets to see Tendou's amazingly vulnerable side out of it.

Now that he’s done what he wants to do, he can rest easy knowing that Tendou returns the love that he harbours for him. It feels unreal that he has managed to capture the attention of such a kind, caring soul, and he vows to cherish it until the day he has to leave this world. No, even in his next lifes.

Tendou rubs the back of his hand under his eyes to get rid of his tears, but his thoughts are centred around the one thing that he believes Ushijima can’t hold a candle to him. 

_I love you more than you know._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments(I am like, starved of these rn, school has been piling on stress like nobody's business these days) are very welcome:)) Let me know what you thought of this chapter and how you think it ties in with the rest of the story!! I'd love to hear your opinions haha!
> 
> Find me on Instagram @bts_ateez._.suju if you wanna chat with me or fangirl/fanboy about Haikyuu with me!!


	10. Promise To Keep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am CRYING, I cannot believe that this is the last freaking chapter of SSaMB, and I just want to give a HUGE THANK YOU to everyone who's been supporting me on Ao3!!! Since I published the first chapter, it's been an amazing time writing and editing the chapters so that I can give everyone the best content that they can possibly have from little ole me. 
> 
> I'm so grateful for anyone who left kudos, even more so for those of you who were so kind as to leave heart-lifting comments for me to read hours later *cries* Of course, if you just happened to stop by and have a quick glimpse, I appreciate you guys too!! Everyone who bothered to read is very precious to me!! I- Okay, I'll continue my rant at the end, I'm still in shock as to how the hell I made it all the way to the end. 
> 
> For this chapter, we have *drumrolls please* soft and squishy UshiTen, which I am currently addicted to writing. Oh, also, a lot of worrying that is bound to happen in any relationship!!! Please, enjoy!!

Ushijima tucks his sportswear back into his gym bag as he listens to the steady buzz of his teammates around him. 

Their final volleyball practice at Shiratorizawa Academy has just ended, and they’ve all been dismissed after playing a ridiculously long three-on-three match with the second and first years. It had been a celebration of sorts, one last memory to make in their high school gymnasium before the third years left for good after graduating. 

Ushijima already has his certificate, all rolled up and nicely tucked into a safe spot in his bag, and practice had been the last on his agenda for the day. 

He looks around the changing room, taking in the familiar colours of the walls, the soothing chatter of his team and most of all- 

“Wakatoshi-kun! You done?” 

-Tendou. 

Tendou sends him a grin, broad and playful, as it so often is. His heart warms when Tendou skips over to him lightly and drapes himself over him, throwing an arm around his shoulder and glueing himself to his side. 

“Wanna go back now?” he asks, his face alight with something similar to eagerness. Ushijima nods once and slides one arm down to Tendou’s waist, pulling him closer when one of the first years barrels past with an apology and a large water bottle sloshing with liquid in his hands. 

Tendou flushes at the contact, but otherwise doesn’t comment. It’s cute that he’s still not used to the intimate touches that Ushijima initiates, even though he’s subjected to them on an almost daily basis. 

Instead, he drags Ushijima out with him after waving to Semi and the rest of their friends, his hair wet and dripping. “Tendou, you’ll catch a cold if you don’t dry your hair properly.” 

Ushijima’s concern is flattering and extremely expected, and it makes Tendou want to cuddle up to him some more. Maybe if he sticks next to his personal bodywarmer, he won’t be susceptible to any illnesses that come with long-term exposure to their frigidly chilling environment. 

It is well into the middle of the winter season by this time, and the snowflakes that fall from the black and purple night sky, although currently tiny and light, produce a bitter chill everywhere that burrows deep into people’s bones. The skies are cloudy most of the time, and what meagre sunlight that filters through is only enough to last a couple of hours at the most. 

_This is just the worst._

Tendou is, without a doubt, not a fan of winter, as seen from the way he scampers closer to Ushijima when an arctic breeze blows by mercilessly. He shivers under his thick winter jacket, pulled on over three layers of winter clothing excluding his underwear. 

The freezing weather does little to snuff out the flame burning in his chest, though, and the reason for that is simple - easy. 

Ushijima glances sideways to eye the distinct tremble of Tendou’s fingers. It is a clear tell, and they’ve been best friends long enough for Ushijima to know that Tendou always downplays his pain because he doesn’t like to worry others. Maybe he can help. 

He grabs onto one of Tendou’s slender hands, his nose scrunching a bit when the coldness of his boyfriend’s skin stings his own warm ones. 

Putting both their hands into one of his pockets, his lips twitch in amusement when Tendou blushes up to his ears again when he sees his own wrist protruding out from the cozy little cavern. Little acts such as this fluster him more than loud declarations of love.

“You are cold.” It isn’t so much a question as it is a statement, and it is quite apparent when Ushijima turns his head and notices the pinkish tinge to Tendou’s ears and nose. The fact that the colour remains even after his blush fades is slightly concerning.

He knows it means that they should probably walk a little faster so they can retreat into the safe warmth of their dormitory, but the sight is adorable and, frankly, Ushijima hasn’t had the chance recently to see that familiarly pretty pink on Tendou’s cheeks. 

They’ve been far too busy with their graduation preparation and have been so swamped by a mountain of stress because of their examination results that they hadn’t had the time or energy to fool around. Still, he treasures these little moments with Tendou, where he can just openly study each of his little expressions and animated gestures. 

He’s doing them again even as his teeth chatter and his legs walk a little more stiffly from the cold, and it’s endearing to watch. 

“-and poor Tsutomu was crying and everything when we were saying our goodbyes. I feel bad for-” Ushijima stares, a gentle smile blooming on his face as he steers them down the shortest path back to their dormitory. 

He takes to sorting through his own thoughts in the meantime, keeping half an ear perked to listen to Tendou speak. 

Tomorrow, they will no longer be students at Shiratorizawa Academy and, funnily enough, the thought of that makes him feel just a bit uneasy. Tomorrow, he will be moving to Tokyo, where he’s been accepted into the Schweiden Adlers, a professional team in Division 1 of Japan’s V-League. 

It has always been his intention to go pro; the very idea comes to him as naturally as playing volleyball does. He should be excited, since this is his dream that he’s chasing, but the thought of jumping cities to achieve his goal somehow doesn’t sit as well with him as he thought it would. And he thinks he knows the reason why. 

Tomorrow, he will be leaving Tendou behind in Miyagi as he takes another step forward to solidify his career. 

“Tendou.” 

Tendou stops his rambling to turn a curious gaze upon him. Ushijima usually doesn’t interrupt him when he’s on one of his word marathons, and he wonders what exactly is it that Ushijima was thinking so hard about that he would break that firmly rooted habit of his. 

He gives a half shrug in response and raises his eyebrows in question. Ushijima’s grip on his hand grows tighter, although the movement is so tiny that Tendou would have missed it were it not for his sharp intuition - it tells him that something is bothering his boyfriend. 

Ushijima looks around like he’s judging how much farther the distance to their destination is, before tugging him in a different direction, towards another building that Tendou recognises as one of the school’s stables, where the horses are kept. 

Apparently, whatever he has to say is urgent enough that walking all the way back to their dorm on the other side of the school campus isn’t worth the wait. 

It is quiet when they step under the long, wide awning that gives the slightest reprieve from the falling snow, and Tendou shakes his head to get rid of the frost that has gathered in his hair. He shivers when some of it drifts down to his neck and melts against the warmth of his skin, taking away more of his limited body heat in the process. 

He waits, pretending to dust off his clothes when there really isn’t a need to. There aren’t enough snowflakes clinging to his winter coat to make the action worthwhile. He knows what Ushijima might say, and he is prepared to listen to it, although he’d been hoping that the conversation would eventually just be forgotten. 

Ushijima traces small circles into the back of Tendou’s hand, still clutching on tight to it even though he’s taken them out of his pocket, and his other hand goes up to adjust his scarf. It seems like he, too, doesn’t know how to start. He clears his throat awkwardly. 

Tendou cuts in before he can speak, turning and peering through one of the glass windows at the numerous steeds resting inside, out of the way of the cold. They look peaceful, cozy. It makes Tendou want to sprint back to his dorm room with Ushijima in tow. “Toshi, can you do me a favour?” 

There is a pause from behind him, and he smiles, knowing exactly what expression is currently on that face he reads so well. It’s definitely similar to his usual stoic face, but the minuscule differences are only known to him. 

The barest of creases on his forehead, the almost unnoticeable twitch of his mouth, and the narrowing of his eyes that betray so much more than just an image of intimidation and aloofness. 

Ushijima always gets like that when things don’t go the way he wants them to, and Tendou has learnt over the past few years that he’s more expressive than people give him credit for. But it is obvious why most people have a hard time approaching him; only a handful, like Tendou or Semi or some of their other friends, have the patience and awareness to look out for some of his more telling habits. 

Tendou exhales heavily onto the glass pane, watching as the cloud of his warm breath hovers in the air for a moment before condensing onto the cool surface. It blurs the transparent glass and blends the colours on the inside into a hazy fog of murkiness. He lifts his free hand and traces out a random spiralling pattern onto it, observing the way the thin lines curl around each other and intertwine, separating at times and rejoining to cross paths before leaving one another behind again. 

_Just like us,_ a fleeting thought. 

The condensation disappears when he swipes a hand across it, destroying the peaceful image he’s just created from his mind. He spins around, his smile brittle, fragile. “Actually, it’s Satori now.” 

Ushijima tilts his head to one side, like a puppy, confused. Tendou giggles at the sight, feeling the flame in his chest burn a little hotter. It starts spreading to the rest of his body when Ushijima wrinkles his nose and visibly tries to figure out what he’s trying to get at. 

“Since we’re dating, you should call me Satori. It’s only fair since I use yours all the time.” he reasons when he sees the skepticism on Ushijima’s face. 

Actually, he’s wanted to say that since a long time ago, maybe even back when they had first met, but the Ushijima he had known then had felt more closed-off, more...cold. It wasn’t for a lack of trying on his part, as he had insisted that Semi and the others use his first name, but Ushijima had been the only one to politely decline and stick to his family name. 

Tendou. Tendou Satori. 

Similarly to how some of his greatest memories were retained in his mind through the usage of his name, his worst nightmares in childhood had been created from the same five syllables. 

Tendou, meaning ‘heaven’s child’, and Satori, referring to a mythical creature that can read minds. His parents had wanted a child who would grow to become something worthwhile in the world, someone perfect and who brought good luck just like a child of heaven would. 

It, unfortunately, was a fitting name for him, whose intuition is considered to be impressive at best and creepy at worst by other adults, but children aged ten had taken it a very different way from its expected interpretation. As soon as his schoolmates learnt of the meaning behind his name, he became the misfit of the class who could read minds, the one everyone avoided either because they were the bullies trying to isolate him or they were scared to be associated with the bullies’ favourite target. 

It didn’t help that his naturally odd personality and appearance were used as more excuses for people to make fun of him. He remembers being denied the chance to play volleyball during gym class, because he was seen as a ‘monster’ and ‘monsters’ didn’t play human games. 

He scrunches his nose up at the traumatising memory, stomping on it mentally when he starts to feel the old fear seep into the crevices of his cracked and chinked armour - god, he’s really going to just lay it all out in front of Ushijima, the raw, unmasked side to him that he likes to hide away. 

‘Satori’ had never been a name that he was proud of or wanted people to use, but one of Ushijima’s blunt, passing comments about how unique the meaning of his name was had been the first attack to the wall he had built around his heart. 

They were walls that had been built to spare him the pain of being different, of being _abnormal_ , that had been constructed with meticulousness unmatched because he had been determined to shut out anybody who wanted to cause him harm. 

Walls that Ushijima and his friends, but mostly Ushijima, had broken down with several giant bulldozers to worm their way into his life and carve themselves a permanent spot. Ushijima’s spot was considerably larger than anybody else’s. 

He wipes an angry tear from his eye when the old hurt gives way to frustration. He shouldn’t be this vulnerable, he should have gotten used - _numb_ \- to the stinging words and judgemental gazes. _And yet…_

Tendou feels a yank on his hand, the one that Ushijima had been holding on tight to. He stumbles forward soundlessly, too caught up in his thoughts to register the fact that he’s being manhandled into a new position. 

Ushijima leans against the wall of the building, pulling Tendou into his embrace and kneading firm hands into his back after he lets go of his hand. He massages at the tense muscles framing his spine, cultivated from years of hardcore volleyball practice. 

Tendou sighs into his shoulder, his face squished into hard muscle and bone as he wraps both arms around Ushijima’s torso. Feels the heat bleed through the material of his jacket and into his own body. Relishes in it and tries to keep his breathing steady to not give away the fact that he’s suddenly the most afraid he’s been in his entire life. 

It hits him then, that Ushijima is going away to Tokyo to join the Adlers, possibly for the next decade or so, and that he’s going to be staying in Miyagi for college before going on to pursue his own dream. 

They’ll be separated for the next major part of their lives, and he doesn’t know how he’s going to survive the distance, both physical and mental, nevermind the fact that they might lose whatever they have now if they’re both not careful. 

Relationships that don’t last are common among young couples, and he’s not sure how they can keep theirs alive and thriving when they are probably going to be apart for - god forbid - years at a time without meeting up with each other. 

He shivers when he hears the soft, low voice next to his ear, soothing and comforting. “Satori.” He closes his eyes, shuts them tightly. 

It’s everything that he’d expected his name to sound like and more, on Ushijima’s tongue and in his deep, rumbling voice. It sounds like the strong, roiling undercurrents of the ocean, of warm sunlight poking through the foreboding clouds above, of the center of a viciously burning hearth of fire, where golds and oranges and yellows and reds dance on top of the wooden bodies of dead trees. It sounds like, _feels_ like home. 

Tendou snuggles into Ushijima’s chest, tightening his hold as he slides his arms up to Ushijima’s shoulders and inhaling deeply that irresistibly spicy scent that never fails to calm him down. 

“Satori.” a mere whisper against his cheek as he starts to lift his head back up, following the gentle tap on his back. “Satori,” a ghost of a sensation over his lips, spoken with so much understanding and aching love that Tendou wants to get back to one of their rooms and cuddle in bed already. Maybe after several rounds of fucking each other senseless. 

He smiles, this time genuine but still full of uncertainty. “I’m here.” he says, his bottom lip trembling from the cold and something else in his chest. 

Ushijima stares at him for a few seconds - silently contemplating the best way to comfort him, no doubt. Tendou’s eyes crinkle up into little crescents, and some of his hair gets blown out of his face when he huffs. 

Ushijima leans forward with his neck outstretched, his lips demanding. He seizes the back of Tendou’s neck and yanks him closer with an arm around his waist, smothering him with heat and passion and emotions that he can’t really find it in himself to put into words. 

Tendou makes a small noise of surprise, but kisses back just as intensely, with just as much fervour and urgent enthusiasm. He shifts his hands up to Ushijima’s neck, feeling the tendons and muscles ripple under his touch satisfyingly. They break apart, their eyes starry and their lips tingling. 

Ushijima presses his forehead to Tendou’s, breathing in tandem with him as he formulates sentences in his head. Eventually, he says, his voice steeped with conviction. “We will meet again.” 

Tendou blinks at him. He bites his lip hesitantly, not sure how to respond. Ushijima steals a kiss from him, making his mouth drop open in shock. “I will meet you again.” Ushijima strokes a comforting thumb on the small of his back.

Anyone listening in would have been baffled by the seemingly preposterous attempt at assurance, but to Tendou, those words had a deeper, spellbinding meaning. 

His eyes start to water spectacularly, the firmly spoken words like shards of glass in his heart, ugly yet beautiful as they reflect the fear away and mirror his own anxiety back at him at the same time. 

Like a cracked piece of cutlery, where the chips and scratches over the years have made a lasting impact on his consciousness, this body, _his_ body, reaches out for any form of succour that it can latch onto. 

The words aren’t so much an attempt to reassure him that they won’t break up - because they don’t know - but rather, a promise. 

A promise to keep in touch even if they’re both exhausted from stress and there are too many things demanding their attention simultaneously; a promise to let each other grow into a new body, new personality when they are kilometres apart and not judge; a promise to endure through tough times until they are able to stay together permanently. 

It is a verbal tie, connecting their hearts and anchoring them down into the seabed of an ocean swirling with uncertainties and similarly shitty things life can throw at them. 

It is an unfulfilled vow, waiting patiently to be honoured when the sun rises on a new chapter of their lives, and when the moon materialises in the night sky to the same unending phase of their relationship. Where distance is no longer an issue and the worst things they’d have to worry about become animated squabbles over which manga character is stronger and whose turn it is to choose the venue of their next date. 

Ushijima’s soft voice grounds him to the fact that he isn’t alone in this roller coaster ride that is their relationship and also the fact it will take more than distance to tear them apart. Cruelly spoken words from his past bullies, skeptical gazes from adults around him, and even his own parents’ indifferent dismissal of his pain aren’t able to touch him when he has Ushijima’s warmth coiling around him, squeezing his waist tightly and turning his brain into mush. 

His head drops down onto Ushijima’s shoulder again, heavy, feeling like a large weight. “ _Fuck._ ” he hisses, an unbearable ache settling in the cavities of his chest, in the spaces between his rib bones. Any extra gaps that his body can spare fill with almost tangible longing. 

He hopes, so badly, that that day will come soon, even though they are both standing right at the edge of a long, tarmac road, and are about to step away and set off for different paths, each paved with the barest of silver linings. 

_If absence makes the heart grow fonder,_ Tendou thinks, _then maybe we need to have some of that._

This way, when they meet up in person during those rare times that their schedules are both clear, they won’t be reduced to two beings craving purely for skin-to-skin contact, and end up tangling with each other for a night before separating again after tearful goodbyes. 

This way, they would never be able to forget about each other, because if they let themselves think for a moment that everything will turn out fine regardless of the distance between them, the marks, the bruises, the sensations from each time may stay, but the ever-there presence would fade, and with it, their love for each other, tarnished and destroyed by the obscure build up of a dying bond. 

Suddenly, the urge to let Ushijima know just how much he cherishes him comes gushing up, like a trickle of rain that slowly, steadily leads to a torrential downpour. 

He sucks in an icy breath against Ushijima’s jaw, feeling his lungs fill with dry, freezing air. “Wakatoshi-” 

Ushijima tugs on his waist to bring him closer, pressing their chests flush together and clunking his head down on top of a mop of damp fire locks. He kisses the top of his head, his temple as he waits for Tendou to gather his thoughts. 

“I love you.” says Tendou, the three words spilling from his mouth naturally on an electrifyingly hoarse exhale. They sound like smooth, sweet honey, dripping with emotion and words the both of them struggle to say out loud. 

_I’ll wait as long as you want me to. So in return, please, wait for me._

Ushijima is never one to get outwardly emotional over such matters, but with Tendou, it is different - new, refreshing. Everything is a mystifying challenge to overcome, an intricate jigsaw puzzle to piece, an exhilarating experience; similar to everything that he loves in his life. 

He can feel the soft curve of Tendou’s body against him, and the shallow breathing that signals his boyfriend is still trying to get more words out. 

It touches him to know that the very idea of him leaving is so heart-aching to Tendou that he would drop all of his cheerful facades and give him the best ‘I love you’ he’s heard in his entire life. His eyes sting with a burn. 

Tendou’s arms tremble as he braces them against the wall behind them and pushes himself upright. His lower body is still fitted snugly with Ushijima’s, and he only just notices that he’s practically straddling his lap, with both his legs tucked around Ushijima’s hips. 

His feet are planted in the snow, which has piled up some from their prolonged stay in the cold drafts, and he shifts his weight so he’s not leaving all the supporting of his weight to Ushijima. 

Tendou speaks again, saying the words carefully, boldly, with a voice bordering on cracking. “ _I adore you._ ” 

The declaration isn’t different, per se, but the omission of the word ‘love’ actually tells Ushijima a lot more than what saying it out loud would have. He knows it means that Tendou’s feelings can’t be put into mere words alone, and something squeezes his chest when he realises it, because _I feel the same._

He whispers, feather-soft but glaringly piercing. “As do I.” 

It is probably the worst and best thing he could have said, because the water works really do explode after that, and he’s left with a sobbing, sniffling, illegally adorable mess in his arms. Tendou’s tears make him feel worse somehow, and he spins them around to press him into the wall, engulfing his thinner frame in a hug with his large, muscled body. 

He stays that way until he hears the hitched crying sounds dwindle into near nothing, just the occasional sniff and hiccup. “Are you feeling better now?” he asks, cautious. 

He feels Tendou nod into his chest and heaves a sigh of well-earned relief. “I’m sorry for making you cry...” he trails off, guilty. He won’t take his words back, though. 

Tendou tries to laugh through his emotionally clogged throat, resulting in a couple of wheezes that are more air than sound. “Why’re you apologising, Toshi? There’s nothin’ to be sorry for.” he eventually manages without being interrupted by his hiccups. 

He rubs at his eyes, embarrassed now that he’s got his wits back about him. “Sorry, I don’t even know why I was crying. I just- got caught up in my stupid emotions.” Ushijima’s mouth turns down at the sides, displeased. “Your emotions are anything but stupid, Te- Satori.” His firm squeeze on Tendou’s waist punctuates his sentence. 

Tendou shudders when he hears his name from Ushijima’s mouth again. He doesn’t think he can revert back to being called ‘Tendou’ anymore after this, not when his heart threatens to do cartwheels in his chest in this strangely pleasant way every time he hears Ushijima say his given name. 

Suddenly, he sneezes, violent and loud, and realises that his hands are trembling even more than they had been before. _We should go back._

It is on the tip on his tongue, until Ushijima snatches it from him by pulling him away from the wall and back to where they were headed for in the beginning. “Let’s go back. You are shivering.” 

He stares blankly at Ushijima’s back for a few seconds, thinking about how reliable and trustworthy it looks to him even under all the layers of clothes he has on. The sight will forever be imprinted into his brain, the way Ushijima’s shoulders slope downwards gradually at a graceful angle, and how his back is broad and sturdy at the top and narrows slightly as it leads down to his waist, where he knows powerful muscles are stacked on top of each other. 

_It’s beautiful,_ he thinks to himself, silently admiring the amount of faith and belief Ushijima seems to have in them, in their relationship. 

He can’t help it. He catches up to Ushijima with a few long strides, his hair flapping in the wind that is starting to grow in strength. His scarf flutters behind him, long and loose, just like his limbs. “Toshi, wanna cuddle when we get back?” 

Ushijima glances at him out of the corners of his eyes, seeming to think the offer over. More often than not, Tendou’s idea of _cuddling_ is much more strenuous than what the word seems to suggest - it’s usually Tendou’s fault, but Ushijima doesn’t mind indulging him, especially since he gets a tremendously enjoyable time out of it as well. 

“...I don’t see why not.” he says, but is half determined not to be provoked into starting anything this time. Tendou must have seen the disbelieving look on his face, because he bursts into full-bellied laughter and claps a hand onto Ushijima’s shoulder to keep himself from toppling over. 

“I really mean it when I say cuddle, Toshi.” he tries to defend himself, his cheeks going pink as he remembers the last time they had attempted to do just that and ended up staying awake the whole night to expense off their excess energy. _Ha, guess I can’t blame him._

“I won’t do anything. Don’t worry.” he giggles. Ushijima tugs him closer, his eyes a darkness that is almost equivalent to the sky above them, stormy, expressive. Is that a teasing glimmer Tendou sees? “I am not worried at all.” he smirks, his face and lips inches away. 

He pulls away before Tendou can respond, and looks ahead to where their dormitory building is coming into view. Tendou splutters, outraged. “Y-You- I can’t believe you, Toshi! You can’t just say that and not-” 

Ushijima spins around and shushes him with a short, hard kiss. _Be quiet,_ it says, not unkindly, but rather, amusedly. 

Tendou keeps his mouth shut for the rest of the walk home, his face hot and his stomach tied into knots, half of them because he’s aroused and the other because he’s flustered. “Damn him and his words...” he mutters into the collar of his coat, unsatisfied. 

He forces himself to relax and falls silent after that, concentrating on the path he’s walking on as they draw nearer to their destination. Hours of snuggling up to his boyfriend are right around the corner, and his lips twitch up into a smile automatically at that. 

Okay, so they’re going to be in different cities from tomorrow onwards, but all he can think in that moment, as they are trudging through the snow-covered landscape hand-in-hand, is that they could probably survive it. 

_I trust you, Toshi._

_(I adore you.) As do I._

_(Does it symbolise anything special?) It means I Love You._

The last two sentences that drift around in his head remind him that he has the red chrysanthemum that Ushijima gave him in his room still, alive and well. He can almost see it right there at the front of his mind, gorgeous, its blood-red petals on display and sitting in it’s own little vase, alone but surrounded by various other trinkets that he’s received from Ushijima over the course of three years. 

_Yeah, I’ll work hard,_ he studies their joined hands, observing the more prominent veins on Ushijima’s hand that climb up to his wrist and probably all the way up to his biceps. _We’ll be okay._

Ushijima turns his head to look at him, his eyelids lowered to reveal lashes that are dusted with barely visible snowflakes. Tendou laughs at him and reaches out a hand to brush them away. He smiles at the feeling of Ushijima’s eyes fluttering close to allow him to do just that, and when he pulls away he can see a hint of a curve to Ushijima’s mouth too. 

“C’mon Toshi. At the rate we’re walking, we won’t get cuddles. I’d have frozen into a popsicle by then!” 

Tendou leads the way this time, bouncing with obvious eagerness as he pulls Ushijima forward. 

“That would be bad.” Ushijima says, his eyes twinkling with a certain mischief as he watches Tendou’s skipping pace. 

“You’d have to lick me back to normal.” A grin, cheeky, challenging, daring, and exactly how Ushijima likes him. 

_Challenge accepted._

He increases the length of his strides, bumping shoulders with Tendou as he bends down slightly to speak into his ear. “It would be my _pleasure._ ” 

Objective number two is to demonstrate just how well and how willing he is to do so. 

His tongue is hot and wet, and it traces a quick, risqué line up the shell of the delicate, sensitive ear he’s speaking into. 

Tendou jumps away from him, a yelp tumbling from his mouth as his free hand comes up to cover the side of his head. He’s only allowed to go a certain distance before their entwined hands jerk him back. 

His face goes red as he rubs at his ear gingerly, which suddenly feels prickly and ticklish. His blood rushes up to his brain, and he can almost hear his heartbeat in his ears, strong, fast - shocked. 

The tomato shade to his skin gets darker when he sees the meaningful stare Ushijima is pinning onto him. 

“What- You cheater!!” he squeaks out in a high-pitched voice, scandalised. 

Ushijima ignores him after that, only dignifying his accusation with a customary grunt as he tugs him forward again. 

_I’ll deal with you when we get back in,_ is what he would like to say, but that would probably be too much. 

He changes his mind about his resolve to remain decent tonight. And settles for plotting how to turn their planned cuddling session into something more, because a familiar hunger has made a temporary home in the pit of his abdomen. It rumbles, wanting to be fed. 

Tendou’s cold hand in his is a blessed form of contact that he stores in the back of his head. He’ll take it to Tokyo with him, probably turn it over and over in his head on days that he misses Tendou’s presence too much. 

He grips on tighter as they pass the dimly lit lounge area on the first floor and head for the stairs. Yes, he’ll bring all his memories of the times they are together there. 

He’ll do fine, they’ll be fine. _We’ll be alright._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally the end of this long project that I started on a whim!! I want to thank everyone again for reaching the end, and if you guys like this enough, do drop a comment down below, I would love for you to let me know what you thought about SSaMB as a whole, and what you think will happen in their future. 
> 
> Just a heads up, I might be taking a small break from posting, just cause I have WAYY too many ideas in my head rn, but I'll definitely be back soon (who knows, it might be for more ships or even small snippets of UshiTen's life in the future) so stay tuned for more!! Kudos are also welcome, if you want to express your happiness through that. 
> 
> You can hit me up on Instagram @bts_ateez._.suju if you want to contact me personally to gush about our Haikyuu boys or give me prompts to write!! Any form of contact with my readers would be amazing, so don't be shy;))
> 
> Lastly, have a good day!! Drink lots of water and I'll see you all soon!!<3<3<3


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